The Adidas Shackle Shoes Are NOT Racist…Turrible, but not Racist

9 Comments

The new controversy on the streets are the new Adidas JS Roundhouse Mids, aka the “handcuff” kicks.

 

They started some real problems though because everyone jumped on them and said they were racist because they had built in shackles. I say had because Adidas got so blown up that they aren’t making them anymore. I’m pretty sure that is purple suede, so that makes the cancellation unfortunate. Adidas says they didn’t know the shoes implied slavery…I’m pretty sure that was a lie since they nicknamed them the “Handcuff” shoes and these cuffs are around their ankles. By not calling them the “shackle”, the proper term for ankle chains, they were clearly avoiding something.

Predictably, Jesse Jackson was right on it.

Calling them “offensive, appalling and insensitive”. Is it even possible for Jesse to say anything else? What if Jesse showed up at CNN and just said…”Yeah, I like em”. Then Jason Whitlock pulls a classic Jason Whitlock and takes a situation he thinks is racist and double thinks himself into an even more racist position. His claim is that the shackle shoes aren’t about slavery. So far so good. He goes on to say Adidas is still wrong and is taking advantage of sneaker culture and prison culture. Which is essentially saying black people love sneakers and black people are in and love jail…that’s why these shoes are racist. Which is ironic, because the entire argument rests on two racist assumptions. Nice one Whitlock. This dude wants you to know white people end up in shackles too.

I personally don’t think these are racist. I actually hate the way twitter can shut down something before it even gets off the ground. If people get loud enough, fast enough, these companies just want to get out of the way before people get out of control.

By the way, before you get offended by these shoes, have you seen the other joints Jeremy Scott created? You want to see some offensive shoes. Check these:

Plush all the way through. I think these are misogynistic.

Or these:

I find these facking turrible. That is offensive as hell.

Finally, if you want to get all Whitlock with it, these:

On the Whitlock scale these are the most racist shoes ever made. Once you assume black people like sneakers and you assume any reference to a Gorilla is a racist jab against black people, these are horrible. They only come in black!

So Adidas decided to back down and stop making the shoes. You know what that means sneaker heads.

Ultra Rare Shoes! These joints will be going to 8 grand a pair on ebay before the week is out. Well done Twitter, you just made a pair of “racist” shoes hotter than the Air Yeezy. I hope you’re happy with yourself.

-Brock

 

Man Up Monday: Russell Westbrook

6 Comments

Don’t get me wrong, I love Russell Westbrook’s game. He was the unofficial winner of the All Star Weekend dunk contest for his performance in the All Star Game. He might be the most athletic player in the NBA today, and although they lost, I still like OKC to take the Spurs to the brink. But I do have one specific problem with Russell Westbrook. Not so long ago, I thought the most ridiculous thing he ever did was wear a red hoodie and backpack to a business negotiation during the lockout.

Had the nerve to stand right upfront too.

But now, he’s taken it too far. When I saw him rock the fish lure shirt a few weeks ago, I thought it was funny, but now I realize he might never stop.

That joint was just the start. The best thing about this shirt is the homey MRod bought it and rocked it unironically. I thought this was a single shot, but Westbrook apparently has a closet full of nautical themed shirts. After that one, he went with the “post paintball session” shirt.

I think the Fresh Prince rocked that one in the episode when he gets trapped in the basement. Then Westbrook broke out the compass shirt.

That one was actually subdued, all things considered. There is one thing Russell Westbrook didn’t think about though. So far the Thunder has only lost two games. When you win, these shirts are hilarious. When you lose, you just look like a clown. He should have two piles of shirts. First, a winners shirt for when things are going well. And another stack of shirts for when they lose. He should go with a basic white button up just to make sure he is fully in the clear. Otherwise, it ends up like tonight.

Nothing worse than talking about why you lost while you are dressed like an actual clown. You can’t even salvage any dignity. There is no way to go hard in a shirt like that. But everyone knows about these shirts. It wouldn’t be UvT if we didn’t have something exclusive. We’ve already got the inside track on what Russell Westbrook plans on wearing if the Thunder make it to the finals. He’s got something really special planned. He calls it shirts vs. blouses.

There were only so many places he could go to push this farther. He painted himself into the corner and this is his only way out.

So Russell Westbrook, I’m gonna tell you since no one else will. You look ridiculous. Men don’t dress like that. We don’t have to. We’ve got centuries of great options. You’re boy Kevin Durant figured it out. There is no reason you can’t too.

Russell Westbrook…Man Up!

-Brock

The Secrets of Merril Hoge’s Tie Knot Revealed!

4 Comments

Merril Hoge is an Ex-NFL player who played with the Steelers and Chicago Bears. He is a commentator on ESPN, and takes any opportunity he gets to tell Tim Tebow he sucks. He is also known for his ridiculous tie knots.

I’m pretty sure your tie knot is not supposed to extend all the way to the edges of your collar. I’m also pretty sure Merril can’t actually look down when he’s got this tie on. I know the homey Nice Try Bro would have plenty to say about Merril’s ties. You know the old joke “If you look up ‘Huge Tie Knot’ in the dictionary, you would see a picture of Merril Hoge?” Well, the modern version is “if you Google ‘huge tie knot’, the first picture that comes up is Merril Hoge. Literally. Check it out. So I was wondering if Merill had special ties made so he could pull this look off. Like the tie the Baylor Women’s Basketball Assistant coach Damion McKinney was rocking in the championship game.

As crazy as that tie looks, his tie know STILL isn’t as big as Merril’s. I know you are expecting me to tell you how terrible that tie is too, but I already covered it HERE. But Merril has another secret. It was revealed today when he actually took off his four button throwback suit jacket and revealed the rest of his tie.

Look. If you are willing to sacrifice tie length for a gigantic knot…fine, but you have to know you CAN NOT take that jacket off. I don’t care if you see yourself rock this look everyday, when you decide to rock a tie that ends mid-nipple you have to keep the fact it is completely unacceptable somewhere in the back of your mind. When you take that jacket off, you’ve got to convert all the way to business casual mode and lost the tie too. He probably can’t take the tie off without the help of three tailors, a crowbar and some WD-40.

Merril Hoge. If you are going to be a professional asshole, you really can’t rock a look this unacceptable. It is too easy to completely dismiss anything you say because you look so ridiculous. Yeah, it’s really that bad. Step yo game up!

-Brock

UvT Fashion Review: The New Jordan 2012

Leave a Comment

I actually thought these were a joke until I saw them go live on the nike.com site. The Jordan shoes have always had a natural split. The official Jordan shoes generally look good. They’ve been known to start riots. Then there is Brand Jordan, which look like officially sanctioned knockoff shoes. Unfortunately, the 2012′s look like the latter.

Is anyone going to wear those with a straight face? Someone took a hiking boot, slapped on some suede patches, and dropped in some high tops that harken back to an era where short shorts were somehow allowed on basketball courts. Even Marty McFly thinks the new Jordan 2012′s are too much.

They actually made those last year and somehow they didn’t seem as ridiculous as the Jordan 2012′s.

Apparently, they didn’t show Michael Jordan until the last second. We captured his reaction once he figured out how badly his legacy was going to be tarnished.

Seriously, I don’t think I’ve liked a pair of Jordan’s until long about the 14. The 15 was the beginning of the ridiculous era, roughly 12 years ago. Someone needs to tell the designers over a Jordan that less is more. Maybe in 2013 they can leave the stitching, the laser etching, the switchable shoe inserts, and the giant straps.

We all know what the problem is, don’t we? Michael Jordan has the worst fashion sense in the free world. Never has a man with $250 Million spent so much on ripped jeans and the longest sportcoats known to man.

When that dude is your creative inspiration, things could be dismal for a long, long time.

-Brock

Who Is That Masked Man?

Comic book superheroes are great.  Who didn’t love comic books?  Not only do they show you the upside of superpowers, but they also show you the downside.  Cyclops can shoot lasers out of his eyes?  Can’t take off his stunna shades.  Rogue can absorb everyone’s powers and use them?  Can’t actually touch anyone skin to skin without absorbing their memories.  Wolverine has badass claws embedded in his forearms and an indestructible skeleton…but apparently can’t die.

x-men-poster

The only problem?  Superheroes are kinda like wrestlers.  You have to ignore the fact that they are walking around in tights with underwear on the outside with knee-high boots and belts around their thighs.  Even the X-Men movie knew that you couldn’t throw the characters in blue and yellow tights and be taken seriously.  So they brought out the black leather.

x-men-2_l

Those movies have million dollar budgets, so they don’t look like complete assholes. You’ve got to keep fantasy and reality separate.  If you can’t fly, if you don’t have superhuman strength, if you can’t walk through walls, you might not want to get your superhero on.

nycc_wolv2_500

Because you will look like an asshole in a sweatsuit.  Nice Wolverine sideburns though.  Here’s the thing.  There is a roving troupe in Cincinnati who is doing this FOR REAL.  Fighting crime with nothing but handcuffs and mace.


Oh Man, that is great.  Did you see the way the cop looked at “Shadow Hare” when he offered his help?  Talk about a nilla please moment.  Look, If I’m getting my ass whooped in the streets, I might rather take that ass whoopin then be saved by a cat with some Adidas sweatpants and some weightlifting gloves.

2004-11anglegrinderman

Come on.  That dude has gold draws on the outside of his blue tights.  I don’t need that kind of help.

-Brock

Eddie Murphy is the Old Man In the Club

Not Eddie, anyone but Eddie.  Lake talked about it last week, but Eddie is really out in these streets.

eddiemurphy2

Eddie still likes him damn leather.  Coming with the shades indoors, the pinky ring, and the standard issue blonde and everything.  Look, I know he just got divorced, but Eddie is 47 years old.  You can’t keep running the straight up club game when you’re pushing 50.  I feel like you need to start meeting women through friends or at conventions or some shit.

eddiemurphy3

See, Eddie is still running that 80′s game and everything.  The peek over the sunglasses?  Is he going to throw on some acid wash jeans too?  This is officially old man in the club evidence right here.

eddiemurphy

We could really play a game of “what is terrible about this picture” on this one.

Eddie rocking the black wifebeater in the club is awful.

Those “decorations” on the side of Eddie’s satin looking pants are turrible.

You know your girl is into it if she’s drinking Chardonnay while you’re dancing.

Is that Johnny Gill back there?

That bouncer with the white tie went too far on that knot.

Look man, it’s all bad.  I guess I should just be happy Eddie isn’t out there still trying to pick up tranny hookers.

-Brock

American Apparel: You Got Porn in my Clothes

Or did you get Clothes in my Porn?  I can’t tell.  All I know is that they build one of these stores about every five minutes, although it looked okay from the street, I quickly realized that once you actually wear clothes from this spot, you end up looking like this:

Right, those are the fashion police, and those people look like complete jackasses…from the 70′s.

So I went online and tried to see if there were some other pieces there that a reasonable person could actually wear.  I’m just trying to get my surf on, and end up catching this:

Wait a damn minute.  You ain’t selling clothes. You’re selling booty.  In the interest of the common man and the loyal people here at Us Versus Them…I had to do more research.  Check their print ads.

This girl wears the socks, and nothing else…and they get her off.  By the way, don’t go try to “Meet Lauren Phoenix” at work…she’s a pornstar.  That is why she’s getting her beautiful agony on over there on the left.  She’s a pro.

Come on, what are they selling here?  Draws?  They are selling draws allright, but I’m not talking about the clothes.  I just haven’t decided if I’m buying what they’re selling.

Correction.  I’m buying what they’re selling.  GOOD LAWD.  I don’t even know what they sell anymore, other than the fact that they are using soft porn and booty cheeks to get their point across.  That is spectacular right there. The “Tap Panty”?  As in tap dat ass?  Who comes up with this stuff?  Who owns this place?

Oh, this guy is great.  His name is Dov Charney, and this is how this guy gets down at work. He clearly lost his mind a long, long time ago.  Does that make him crazy, or a genius?  Apparently, he is a walking sexual harassment suit.  American Apparel is growing like crazy, is one of the only American companies to pull off a profit while actually paying people fair wages in America as opposed to importing from China, and seems to have some momentum with the people out there.

The website gets even crazier.  Somehow they claim to be selling clothes even when the people on the website have no clothes on at all.

I’m still not wearing that stuff though.  I’m not down with the low cut, v-neck, male cleavage shirt.

That is turrible gear right there.

-Brock