I remember when the tights movement started years ago. There is a lot of overthickness being disguised in black tights.
Look, I’m actually not mad at her. This is her best option. In the right lighting she just blends into the night. Those tights are holding everything in too. If she unleashes that, we wouldn’t see any of the rest of the people in the picture. But this was just the beginning, it has evolved. Now we are fully in the yoga pants era. Chicks don’t even need to be working out to rock the yoga pants. They are the new jeans.
Keep your head on the swivel. They are everywhere. The mall, the streets, the grocery store. If a woman is remotely in shape they give her an automatic +2. Side note, “girl in yoga pants” may be the single greatest Google search you can ever perform. Try it one day when you have a free afternoon. If you see a girl in yoga pants, you know what to do.
But you can’t have the good without the bad. Every great thing brings its own set of problems. For girls in tights, it is the dreaded cameltoe. Those tights try to grab up on everything and some women aren’t prepared for it. So some young entrepreneur decided to solve the problem. Introducing Camelflage.
I actually don’t know which picture is more disturbing. Is it the fact that the left picture had to involve someone instruction this chick to really pull her pants up in there for maximum puckering. Or the right picture where she looks like a Barbie doll. They get bonus points for the hilarious name “Camelflage” though. They deserve to go on the market just for that.
Why exactly is this a new invention though. I’m pretty sure this was invented by the Catholic church thousands of years ago. It was called draws. Been around forever. Ladies, why don’t you mix in a pair when you rock the tights. Avoiding panty lines? Don’t want the dreaded quad booty? Buy a thong. What? You don’t know what the quad booty is? You know what a quad booty is. We were talking about the cameltoe which is a little out of my jurisdiction as an assologist, but since it came up, this is a quadbooty.
Haaaa. Four butt cheeks, three cracks. That’s horrible. Someone invent something to fix that shit. Call it Quadecepts. Ladies, don’t let a little cameltoe discourage you from rocking your tights. Theres a dude somewhere who will appreciate it.
-Brock
