Kanye Keeps Winning: Amber Rose is Still Bad

Kanye doesn’t have a single out, Kanye doesn’t have an album out, Kanye has a kinda new video out, a sneaker that you can’t actually buy out, so it seems like he must be laying low.  You know what though, I think Kanye has figured out how to win in ways we haven’t even began to comprehend yet.  First of all, Jay-Z drops “D.O.A. – Death of Autotune” which seems to pretty much kill both Kanye and T-Pain…but Kanye produced the track.  Second, Kanye directed the Drake “Best I Ever Had” video which had the baddest collection of natural J’s bouncing all about the screen that have ever been seen.  But you want to know how I know the dude is really winning?  Really, really winning?  He wore a perfectly normal outfit to the BET Awards.


A long sleeve T, Jeans and some Timbs?  When was the last time Ye dressed like that?  I’m sure those jeans cost $1,500 on some ol “nicka you ain’t up on this” but they look like jeans to me.  But as much as Kanye is winning, Amber Rose over there on the left looks like the official win to me.  Has a stripper chick ever cleaned up this well?  Check Amber Rose from Diddy’s White Party this weekend.


Just enough side-J.  White pants looking thick.  Intern!  Bring me in tight.


Yeah, that tail game is the truth.  Here is the even crazier thing.  The white party at least puts you up in some hot reasonable gear.  This chick even looks good when she has some ol wild stuff on.  Peep this.


Nah.  It ain’t St. Patrick’s day homays.  She is just rocking the green even steven fade.  But it doesn’t matter because the J game is pumpin.  Maaaaan, those joints look soff like a pil-low.


No she didn’t break out the aquamarine tights on em.  When you can rock some Turrible Gear and still come out a winner, man you’ve gotta be bad.  How confident do you have to be to break out that color?  So confident that you went on ahead and bought the matching G-Shock and Stunna shades to go with it.  That is spectacular.  I’m putting the interns to work tonight too.  Angle 3?


My goodness.  I don’t need to see no mo.




Family Thickness: Amber Rose’s Sister!

One thing that’s for sure, I haven’t given this Kanye fling, Amber Rose, enough burn on UvT.


Gotta love those sideways pictures.

And when you see a babe like this, all the normal questions start up. Black, White or Spanish (forgive me, I get my ethno ethics from NY)?


Uhhh, based on the tail alone, I’mma go with she claims Spanish but she’s mixed in with at least two Black grandparents.  Second, are those J’s real?


Well, I just have to say that at this point I don’t care, but just so we’re all being honest, they look real to me.  One thing I am confident with is the truthiness of that arse piece.


That’s as real as those AIG bonuses.  Anyway, I was questioning it all, her race, the consistency of that gel free tail, them Js, UNTIL, it hit me. Yep, those pictures of her next of kin.  I present to you, thick as her kin folk, Amber Rose’s sister.  She looks so fine, don’t you agree?


Damn. I see they share the same fashion sense.  Tight ass pants, check.  Legitimate J game, check.  Slim waist, Check. Ass so fat you can see it from the front…CHECK. Angle 2 please.


My lord.  That ass is just sittin up on dubbs.  Jeezuz. I mean, if you’re a man, a real man, that angle has to hurt….BAD. wow.  I can’t take it.  Sister of Amber Rose, we love you.


Indeed and we’re happy to know that you love your sister, Amber, as much as we do.  I know who doesn’t like any of this, Father Rose.


Exactly.  And considering Amber described her favorite sexual position as “eating a chick out” (wow), cats really gotta wonder about this brand of sisterly love.


One thing that’s for sure.  Kanye is right.  He’s a fucking genius.


Damn. Her sister got ass too.

– Lake