Crystal Calixte

Never let it be said that Us Versus Them is not for the people.  We take care of Team Us around these parts.  So when my man Itzdatdude says he needs some Thick Asians, we gots to find some thick Asians.  Plus, with Wesley Snipes goes to jail for a few years, I needed to give him a tribute post.  Check it.

I know, I know.  This is not UvT quality action.  I actually like the “tight up in them jeans” look.  When a chick is superthick in a pair of jeans that are holding everything in means she just a big girl masquerading as a video model.  Trust me, as an Assologist there is still some action worth talking about here.  Unleash the Kracken!

I’m not gonna say I told ya so, but I told ya so.  She’s packin heat.  She even knows how to inspire her friends.

Unfortunately, her friend can’t keep up.  The girl on the left has a dress that lays perfectly flat. Our girl Crystal has loose fabric in the lower back area that is being sucked into the vast abyss.

Sure she’s sticking it out for effect, but you gotta respect the effort.  It’s not all illusion though.

That looks all natural and legit.  She’s got a bright future ahead of her.

Is it good?


Assology 104: The Outliers

I haven’t hit the faithful readers of Us Versus Them with a good Assology post in a long time, so this is long overdue.  Sometimes a tail is just unexplainable.  Sure, I usually focus on the spectacular tail, but there is so much variety out there that you really see something and you just don’t know what it is.  Sure, there is the garden variety nice ass.


She’s out there getting the blocking and tackling done.  I suspect angle 2 would reveal that she’s not working with as much as it appears, but hey, she looks nice.  But we’re going into the dungeons, to see things that should never be revealed in the light.  Things better kept secret.  Until now…

Like…what the hell is this?


The anlgles are all wrong.  The right ass cheek is poking out at a full on right angle and the left cheek appears to be about four inches higher.  Didn’t want to look this close, but the crack seems to be cavernous too, like the back cheek is being sucked into a rip in time and space.  But wait, there’s more!


Like a Transformer, it is changing and shifting into its earth disguise as a Negative Arse.  She is Negatron, leader of the Deceptitails.


Oh, that’s just Ali Larter.  That tail might cut ya, and those J’s aren’t doing you any favors either.

Another outlier?  We’ve got a Thick White Woman Alert!  Meet Joanna Shari:


Damn.  She’s official.  You know what, I think this is what Mariah Carey thinks she looks like when she looks in the mirror.  She’s wrong, but that would explain the outfits and the half buck nakedness that Mariah tries to sport all the time.  Of course Nick Cannon loves her anyway, when he looks at her he can see her true beauty.


Ha, my bad.  I didn’t have to do that.

Anyway, the final outlier is a true rarity.  Once thought to be extinct…the Thick Asian Woman Alert!


She’s figured out the game in that shot right there.  She even knows all the black girl poses.


Oh man, that last shot reveals the truth.  She might just be superthick.  She’s got legs and thighs like Chun-Li out in this piece.

Keep and eye out for other unique tails, like the backpack booty, the low slinger, the excessive motion tail, the spongebutt squaredraws, and the clincher.  They are all around you.

-Dr. Brock Hardon

Father of Assology