Bush lets Scooter off the hook

In a turn of events that shocked ones of people, George Dubyah Bush aka “Worst President Ever” did the unthinkable and commuted the 30 month sentence of his boy’s boy, Scooter Libby late Monday night. When asked to explain why he choose to hook his accomplice up Bush responded with this:

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Oh yeah, nothing says truth, justice and the American way like pardoning (ok, it was a commutation but ‘pardoning’ sounds better and I’m using the word ‘pardon’ in a colloquial sense rather than a legal one so get off my back…b*tches) your boy, the same cat who lied to federal prosecutors on YOUR BEHALF about YOUR administration’s illegal, immoral and nefarious attempt to punish people who actually were right about the bullshi*t leading up to this catastro-phuck in Iraq.

Anyway, the effects of Bush’s move were felt immediately, especially for Scoot himself. This was Scooter on the way to the court house Monday.

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Homey wasn’t looking too strong. And this is him after he got the news:

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Indeed, the cat was out in the streets, loving life and just actin’ a damn fool… I guess homey is a faster healer than AI because that injured foot just went right away. Anyway, Scooter wasn’t the only one happy, upon hearing of the pardon, Dizzick Cheney reported slaughtered 300 baby seals and clubbed his lesbian daughter about the neck, chest and breast in celebration.

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Oh yes, he was elated. And all this activity right up on the 4th of July… almost brings a tear to my eye. You know, Bush righting the wrongs of our legal system to properly free those political prisoners who never had an advantage in life and just got railroaded by the system. Lowly unconnected cats like Scooter…exactly!

Who knows, maybe next year Bush will free R. Kelly on Juneteenth if it ever comes to that. Naaah, aRa aint never gonna get convicted. It’s like him, Jacko, and the Bush Administration….all untouchable. “Scooter, Kelly not guil-tee”.

God Bless America!