Scarlett Johannson is NOT Pregnant

Scarlett Johansson is UvT Quality and got a lot of votes in the Team Us pursuit of the perfect woman. When she brings the heat, she keeps it turned all the way up.

You all come here because Us Versus Them is not like other blogs. Other blogs like to just put up pictures without talking about them. They like to speculate about the lives of celebrities with little or no information. Sometimes they make things up altogether. So when Scarlett Johansson went running last week, some pictures came out that set the internet on fire with pregnancy rumors.

Her publicist came out immediately and said that Scarlett is training for the Avengers movie and is in the best shape of her life. She said these are just unfortunate choices of shirt and pants that caused the confusion. Uhhhhhh, you see this picture and she thinks the unfortunate things are the shirt and the pants? Can we talk about those pink five toe jammies with the strap? How pretty do you have to be to think you can get away with that shit? Dammit, women are supposed to work what they have to maximize their beauty. It is as if Scarlett woke up that morning and thought to herself, “You know what, I’m an 11, so let me throw some hot pink gorilla feet on with this free hat and see what it is like to be an 8 for the day.

Then she wants to prove she’s an angel by walking on air. Scarlett is just showing off now. I like how Sean Penn just goes on ahead at 50 and still pulls down one of the baddest chicks out.

Is she still holding down the tail game?

Yeah. I can’t see anything but the shoes. They are even worse from this angle. Maybe this is Scarlett Johansson doing community service. She wakes up early in the morning once a month to make herself ugly to raise the self esteem of women everywhere. Pretty girls have to do their part too.

-Brock

Best White Dude Ever: Justin Timberlake

It kind of goes without saying, but since Mr. JT has recently been back in the news for all this FCC/Supreme Court stuff, I figured I’d just reiterate it.  I mean, is there anything this cat hasn’t done?

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I mean, he’s the one who pulled that J out, but nobody ever blamed him.  Nah, it’s gotta be the cougar’s fault (though I admit that it usually is).  Plus,

1.  Dude is hilarious

2.  The music is dope

Hot

Fire

Hype

3.  His women are riiiiiiidiculous.  Think about the pieces he’s had in his pocket like so many nickels and dimes.

Britney Spears when she was bad as sh*t

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Alyssa Milano

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Cameron Diaz

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Well, nobody’s perfect.  Diaz is terrible.

Scarlett Johannson and them tig ole bitties:

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I said dem bitties:

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Jessica Biel, not now, but RIGHT NOW:

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Plus face:

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I mean, damn.  This cat has had every chick worth having short of Angelina, Halle Berry and Beyonce.  And let’s be clear, he very well could have hit any one of ALL of those babes too.  These are just the chicks we can confirm!

But it aint all positive.  Let’s not forget the Single Ladies debacle.

Sorry dude, but I don’t trust any man who can move his body like that…you were a little bit too convincing.  Plus, the unitard is only funny, when it doesn’t look like a legitimate outfit for you.  Dudes with the beer belly..something.  Not you, looking like you just showed up for dancing witht he stars practice.  Yikes.

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– Lake