March Madnass Round of 32: Assnosis Division

The next few rounds should roll out a little faster. I should be able to get the first two up today. I also hid the seeding just to see how it effects voting going forward. I’m tracking it myself, but I’d rather let the voting go down clean. Twitter is going to revolutionize this contest. Most of the women in the round of 32 are sending out pics of themselves on Twitter all the time. I also plan on tweeting them to let them know they are in the running. Feel free to hit and support your favorites.

Until then, vote away. I’m thinking about 24 hours on this round. Let the Madnass begin.



Claudia Sampredo vs. Meagan Good


Vida Guerra vs. Freida Pinto

(Side note, Vida’s twitpic box is a sight to behold. Behold it HERE.)


Amber Rose vs. Miss Rabbit


Sofia Vergara vs. Rosa Acosta


March Madnass 2012: Assnosis Division


Round one of March Madnass is now underway. You can vote a total of 8 times below, but you can reload it and vote again if you want to.

Vote early, vote often. This is going to be a hot one.

Assnosis Division:

1. Claudia Sampedro [video]

16. Tammy Torres [video]


2. Vida Guerra [video]

15. Emily B [video]


3. Carol Seleme [video]

14. Amber Rose [video]


4. Sofia Vergara [video]

13. Nicole Mejia [video]


5. Rosa Acosta [video]

12. Jesikah Maximus [video]


6. Padma Lakshmi [video]

11. Jessica/Miss Rabbit [video]


7. Tahiry [video]

10. Freida Pinto [video]


8. Meagan Good [video]

9. Christina Milian [video]


March Madnass: Round of 32 – Famous Division

The first round of March Madnass is over and it is time to send another 16 ladies home. Huge upsets in the first round. Late entry Britney Dailey took down Number 1 seed Kim Kardashian. Christina Milian was able to hold on against a surging Allison Stokke. Now it is time to get down to some serious business. Can a dark horse rise up to get to the Sweet 16? It is up to Team Us.

Voting every day this week. Check back and vote often.



More Thigh Than KFC Division:

16 Britney Dailey

9 Amber Rose


5 Jessica Biel

4 Meagan Good


6 Vida Guerra

3 Christina Milian


7 Stacey Dash

2 Rihanna


Dollop Division:

1 Halle Berry

9 Selita Ebanks


5 Eva Mendes

4 Monica Bellucci


6 Rita G

3 Dania Ramirez


7 Shakira

2 Rosa Acosta

March Madnass: Dollop Division

Day 1 was a huge success. There were a few surprises, but overall I think I got the seeding right. Britney Dailey is making a real run from the 16th spot against Kim Kardashian. My girl Milian got destroyed though. I’ll have my own personal moment of silence. My favorite part is the fact that in my mind, you were all sitting at home looking like this:

But now, on to the next round, the “Dollop Division”

First a little theme music.

Dollop Division

1.   Halle Berry

16. Carmen Electra

2.   Rosa Acosta

15. Daphne Joy

3.  Dania Ramirez

14. Kenya Moore

4.  Monica Bellucci

13. Esther Baxter

5.  Eva Mendes

12. Inez Sainz

6.  Rita G

11. Kerry Washington

7.   Shakira

10. Ciara

8. Rose McGowan

9. Selita Ebanks

Here is the voting people. Have at it.


Rosa Acosta is still UvT Quality

I can’t take it.  Did someone announce Tail week at Us Versus Them without me knowing?  It is like shark week on the Discovery channel but with booty.

Rosa Acosta was first discovered by Us Versus Them last year when she really brought the heat.

Check out the original post here.

Last week during the world cup, she brought her soccer swagger.  But this week she gets back to the basics.

Unlike Kim Kardashian, Rosa Acosta brings the obvious J game to the forefront every single time.  The the stomach and the hips are stupid.

The she can turn around and give the people what they want.

Can you believe this chick used to be a ballet dancer?  What dance company was she in?  The Dominican Thickness Dance company for bottom heavy girls?  Does she still have any of the ballet skills?

Apparently she does.

Does she know how to rock the money shot?

Apparently she does.  I haven’t seen a woman looking like she is being chased by a booty monster like that since Serena Williams was out surfing and had a giant humpback whale following her to the shore.

Can she get her Claude Van Damme on?

I guess she can get her “Lawd Got Damn” on.  That is completely unnecessary right there.  Who is responsible for booty shine?  They should get a bonus for the work today.

All the Us Versus Them faithful know I can’t leave you without that Angle 2.  If you’ve been reading the comments you know that the interns of UvT have been working on a new internet search engine that can find and organize all the angle 2 shots on the internets.  We’re still tweaking it, but it didn’t fail us today.  Interns!  Show us the results of your labor!

Yeah.  That’s right.  Job well done.  I’m a freaking diabolical genius.


More Ladies of World Cup

Spain is facing the Netherlands for the World Cup in just a few days, and Evan Markert hasn’t sent any more legitimate World Cup analysis, so I’ve got to post what I’ve got.

Some shady non-touched up pictures of Rosa Acosta holding an official World Cup soccer ball in some draws and some high socks.

She is running a classic 5-2-3.  Her strikers are damn impressive but her defense is one of the most impressive in the league.

She’s also an Argentina supporter.  I’m sure she was crushed when they lost.

It’s actually sad to see the behind the scenes of a bad photo shoot.  Can’t you see the photographer?

Yeah…put dis on right here.

Uhhhhh, now lay down on the floor and lift your booty in the air.  Put the ball on top of the South African flag…can you tuck you hair into your J’s?


Now smile and make it look natural while I sprankle (yes, sprankle) this glitter on you…


Sad, just sad.  So I tracked down the real finished up joints to let you know what it looks like once it is all photochopped kicked up.

Now see, suddenly, that is very impressive.  Listen here…Rosa Acosta was runner up for UvT Woman of the year in 2009.  She’s definitely still brings the thunder, but all of those who excelled in your Assology reviews last week are detecting a sign of weakness.  Do you see it?

Those knee joints are getting out of hand, it is the first place that think babe you think is bad is going to show her mileage…but I’m getting distracted by my own example picture.  I’m being distracted by the ASFYCSIFTF up there.

Ass So Fat You Can See It From The Front.  I haven’t seen that since Is Beyonce UvT Quality? from back in the day.

Rosa Acosta Impresses and Amazes

I’ve got an epic post brewin’ that needs one more chart before I’m done.  Can’t make it happen until the morning, so I’m going to do what I always so in this situation.  Throw up a random bad chick.  What way you can’t really be mad at me, right?  The always pleasing, and runner up for UvT Chick of the Year 2009, Rosa Acosta.

I’m sure 50% of you think this picture is all about the J game, but that lower stomach and hip crease is the real deal in this one.  Goodness.  I appreciate the J’s too though.  I haven’t made the interns work in a while, so I’ll have them dig up good old angle 2.5.

This chick was actually a semi-professional ballet dancer which explains a lot of what is going on here.  It is a shame when too much ass can actually make you lose your job.  Angle 3?

These are un-retouched and she might be the baddest chick out right now.  There will be a lot more Rosa Acosta around these parts.


UvT Quality: Rosa Acosta

Sometimes naming a lady UvT Quality is a question.  Something I really need to think about.  That is not the case here.  Rosa Acosta is certified bad.


She is like a sexier Cassie to me.  Pretty face, bad body, Rosa Acosta has it all.  This is the mildest picture in this collection too…so…you’ve been warned, scroll down at your own discretion.


I’m pretty sure real breasts are incapable of pulling off that little magic trick, but I don’t care. Her waist in bananas, that hip cut is killer, she’s a pro.  I know what you’re thinking, Brock, sure she’s cute, but in the era of Kardashian, Angel Lola Luv and all the advances that Assology has made over the last two years is she bringing the Tail game?  Well, let’s find out…


You knew I wasn’t going to give it all to you at once did you?  You know the first check is the “ass so fat you can see it from the front”.  Those thighs are thick, and the strain in her forearms is letting you know that those hands are gripping onto something thunderous.


Maaaaaaan, I guess everyone is giving the Lil Kim tribute these days.  Rosa is bringing more heat than Nicki Minaj as she’s also bringing the crazy ass ab package. Is it just me, or does she look like Rosie Perez here?  She was throwback sexy too.  I might have to do a Throwback UvT Quality post or two this week. I’m skipping straight to angle 3 on this one.


I don’t know what that key chain is hanging on to, but I’m down with the concept here.  Even in an old school 80’s thong, she’s hot.  Ok, ok, now for the moment you’ve been waiting for, the elusive angle 2.  This shot was grabbed by one of the interns from the grassy knoll.


ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  This might be the baddest chick out right now. I know people were clamoring over the chick when I dropped her anonymously in the 2000th post, but I had to save the heat for this week and I dropped her into the 2000th post because this babe is the future.  I mean damn.  Just damn.  I need one more.


Man, I can’t take it.  All I know is I’m changing my name to “Em” so I can get a shot at that.

In a side note, Soulja Boy was allegedly engaged to this babe.  When asked if the rumors were true all he said was “LOL :)”


What a clown.  Soulja Boy, I know you’re young, but this chick is special.  Nick Cannon left Christina Milian, but he traded pure physical superiority for a babe with infinite stacks of cash.  Do you think lightning is going to strike twice? The only women out there with Mariah money are Whitney Houston and Madonna.  I don’t think either of them are going to let you Superman that Hoe.  You better lock it in with Miss Acosta here while the getting is good.

Take Uncle Brock’s advice, you got a good one there.



On further review.  Rosa Acosta’s version of the Lil Kim pose just makes Nicki Minaj look like she’s packing some Lady Gaga in those draws.  Yes, you are correct that I just posted 4 consecutive pictures of women crouching provocatively.