In Case You Forgot: Rihanna Is Sexy

Rihanna has a new album coming out next week, so you know what that means…she is showing up half butt naked all over the internets. There is the official stuff like being named Esquire’s Woman of the Year. I’d like to point out that she was UvT Quality chick of the year two years ago, because I’m ahead of the got damn curve, but you already know that.

Personally, I like the candid shots myself. Not just level 5 on the UvT NSFW buck naked camera phone joints either. Rihanna has evolved, her personal shots are classy now.

I’ll take two orders of the Saltinbocca. That tongue is completely gratuitous by the way. That’s not even the good stuff though.

Does Rihanna do wind blown tail shots?

Yes she does.

How about ridiculous poses of her smiling at you on all fours?

She’s got that covered too.

Side note, that hip tattoo has been killing me since she got it.

Finally, we find out why Rihanna doesn’t have a male assistant. Because if anyone from TeamUs had this job, Ms. Ri-Ri would have a lot more than a thong wedged in that tail piece.

That back arch is top 5 right now. The girl isn’t even trying. She’s just on vacation getting a little sunblock sprayed into her ass crack. I’ll know I’ve made it when I get to hire someone to spray sunblock into my ass crack.

When I do, she’s not gonna look like one of Mike Lawry’s ladies though. Haaaaaaaa! My bad, I had to get one in after all the action in the comments from last week.

-Brock

Rihanna Even Works It on Vacation

 

Rihanna might not be the best singer int he world. Rihanna might not be the best looking lady in the world. But I will tell you one thing. Rihanna has sexy down cold. You know I’ve got an example.

Rihanna goes swimming in the ocean or a lake or something. I don’t know. What does she wear to the water? A bathing suit? No. A wet suit? nah. She just rocks an extra long black wife beater. When I say ONLY. I mean ONLY. Who comes out of the house like this?

She was apparently snorkeling in search of the famous humpback whale. Are you kidding me? Shirt just-a-clinging to every curve she’s got huh? This might be the first water angle 2 we’ve ever featured here.

Now Rih-Rih is about to sey ip for an epic moment. We’re going to take it slow though.

If that was all she gave us, I’d be happy. It is just enough to let you know that Rihanna is keeping it silky smooth. But you know how she does it, she takes it one step further.

Maybe even two steps further. If you want to know what happens when I close my eyes and dream at night, you’ve just seen it. Rihanna butt naked, soaking wet, shining like she has been dipped in honey. Is she swimming in baby oil? Why is her ass so shiny? She just left the house with no draws? hI appreciate it though. The motorboat she’s letting her girl give her is just a bonus shot. I don’t even know how that went down. I like the fact there is liquor involved though.

Rihanna, I’m pretty sure there is some kind of love for you here at UvT. Keep up the good work. If that sex tape is real, I might shut down the site. My work here will be done.

-Brock

Rihanna In a Loose Outfit, But Somehow it is Tight Too

I know, I know.  Brock, what is up with the Rihanna obsession?  You named her UvT Lady of the year, you drop her on the site every three weeks, you even pumped her up for actual music.  Well I can’t help it.  She continues to impress and surprise.  Like this for instance.  She shows up at some show wearing a crazy loose fitting outfit with shoulder pads.

She does continue to let people know about her above average J game though.  But that isn’t all, she looks like she is wearing a curtain, until you catch a few other angles.

From the other side, you see that it grips up on her legs a little bit.  When you get a little closer, she drops a little side boob.

But you know that is not what I’m here for.  Us Versus Them is looking for something else.  Let’s skip straight to Angle 3 shall we?

Yeah, this outfit is somehow tight all over too.  Is it made out of some kind of magical cloth?  This woman is amazing.  I’m going to need to finish this off with angle 2.

The Lawd is good and he knows what I want.  The tail is impressive, but the thigh coming out the front is pretty impressive too.  Rihanna is starting 2010 off strong.  Well done.

-Brock

Rihanna Still Can’t Dance, But She’s Got the Only Move That Matters On Lock

Look you know Rihanna can’t dance.  We even wrote a whole post about it back in the day.  She knows her limitations though, and so she made up for it in pure buck nakedness and effort and still took UvT lady of the year.  Well she’s got a new video out and she might not have many moves but she has one move in particular down.

Minute 1:20 is crazy, the bend over and shake it at 1:55 is a winner, and the whole episode with the catsuit on the zebra is one of my favorite youtube moments of the year so far.  She let’s you know from the jump that she is just going to shake and wind it for the entire video.  Sure, the video looks like MTV from 1984 showed up and threw up on it.

The girl knows she kills it in a catsuit, and knows it doesn’t really matter what else she does as long as she keeps those hips moving.  UvT Approved.

-Brock

Newsflash: Rihanna is Still Sexy

Rihanna is going high fashion in Italian Vogue.  Ever since Rihanna got butt naked on those camera phone pictures every picture she takes looks good to me.  She might look a little crazy in these joints, but she is greased up and half butt naked.

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You can’t really tell what she’s working with, but as I said, I know she’s working with this.

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She confirms that this is in fact her body in this joint.

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The stomach and J game is crazy.  Those are those young chick J’s right there.  Sitting up high like two scoops.  She slimmed out too.  Brock approves.

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She looks good to me.  The only open question now is she going to be thick Rihanna or flat booty Rihanna?

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Aw damn.  That ain’t right.  Once again, she’s got that magician booty.  Now you see it, now you don’t.  Well, the pendulum is still swinging, so that mean any picture that comes out next week should be fat booty Rihanna again.  Can’t wait.  Once again, all I see is this, so I know what she’s working with.  I’ll keep the faith.

-Brock