Anderson Cooper Gets Caught in His Own Personal Uprising

Anderson Cooper loves to be right in the mix.  He was there for Katrina.  He went to Haiti right after the earthquake.  He was there for the Tsunami.  He was even there when Hilary Clinton wouldn’t quit running against Obama.  So what does he do when all hell breaks out in Egypt?  He takes it to the streets.

Why do news reporters do this?  Can’t you win an Emmy from the studio?  I mean I know Al Roker likes to go to every hurricane and snow storm just because he likes to wear funny hats and get away from the teleprompter every once in a while.  Even that goes wrong.

You know that dude who let Al fall thought he was about to lose his job.  Now that was wild and it was just some wind and rain in Florida.  How does Anderson get down?

He’s out there with dudes riding their riot camels out here in these streets.  Can you imagine the conversation at this dude’s crib when he left the house this morning.

“Hey babe, I’m going out to support president Mubarak.  I’ve got my Nike cross trainers, my leather coat and my stick.  I should be straight.”

“Are you walking honey?”

“Naaaaah.  Actually if you can get me my saddle and my rug.  You know, with the triangles and the tassels  and pom poms, I was gonna take the camel.  That shit will be hot in down in Freedom Square.”

How does Cooper get ready to hit the streets?

Silver hair? Check.

Pensive stare? Check.

Swagger right? Check.

Tight T-Shirt? Check?

Guns? Check and Check.

White?  All day…

Ready.

I know Anderson likes to keep it real, but he must think a tight t-shirt and a camera makes him invincible because he thought he was just gonna 007 Sean Connery these protesters like there was no real threat.  As ItzDatDude pointed out in the comments and I pointed out in this post, White people in America really have a belief, deep down in their hearts, that no matter what they do, they will never just get punched in the face.  Meanwhile these Egyptians have camels.  Did I say that they have camels?  So you know what?  It didn’t really go Anderson’s way.

Anderson just caught that ass whoopin.

Did anyone else want Anderson Cooper to drop just one “fuck” in the background before the camera settled back down.  I mean he might have really gotten injured out there.  He can keep it real for one second.  Meanwhile, Cooper is trying to make that money. He’s reporting while camera is taping the street, he’s still talking about the soldiers and situation after getting hit in the head ten times.  I like how he thinks a few “calm downs” will solve the situation.  Meanwhile CNN had to change the name of their coverage to “Camel Humps and Lumps: CNN’s coverage of the crisis in Egypt”.

As always, UvT goes the extra mile.  Anderson hasn’t even figured out how it went so wrong so quickly.  The Us versus Them intelligence department (which isn’t very big) did some research and got to the bottom of it.  You know how other countries get TV shows like 6 years after they run here?  Anderson Cooper wasn’t always the top dog at CNN.  He had a run on a reality game show for a few years.  It was so bad that he even hosted the “celebrity” version of the reality game show.

That’s right, the people of Egypt think Anderson Cooper is the Mole.  What’s worse?  When he was going from the Pro-Mubarak side to the Anti-Mubarak side, they were able to discover his true identity.

Yup.  Anderson Cooper is a double agent.  You heard it here first.

-Brock