The Internet is Full of Random Shit

As someone who is always looking for the most ridiculous stuff on the internet, I do come across random things I think are going to help me later.  Generally, I’m just lying to myself.  That doesn’t mean the pics still aren’t great.  Like this:

Flat hulk face t-shirt design.  I’d probably rock that under certain circumstances, but when was I ever going to use that?  Never.  Still grabbed it though.  Or this:

That is a cross between a donkey and a zebra.  When I grabbed it, I was really going to make a joke about how a pimpin ass Zebra wanted a little Ass.  The reason the zebra isn’t in the picture is because when he saw the Zedonk he was like “that kid ain’t mine”.  I was even going to have Maury Povich drop by to run a special paternity episode.  But the more I look at it the more it it just looks like shitty photoshop.

How about this:

That is just cute as hell and makes me laugh.  Plus the woman in the background in the red dress has a head that is twice the size of her ass.

By the way, while we are talking about random shit, what the hell happened to Mr. T?  He used to be the baddest man on the planet that wasn’t the heavyweight champ of the world.  Then in Rocky III he became a heavyweight champ and really WAS the baddest man on the planet even if it was just in a movie.

That dude looks got away with wearing all of that ridiculous jewelry because he looked like he would whoop your ass if you even thought about saying something.  Then I was flipping through the channels last week when I saw something that stole my entire childhood in about 45 seconds.

I want to meet the asshole who was sitting in the Flavorwave offices around a conference table and said, “we’ve got a great product, now how do we make this big like the Foreman Grill?  We’ve got a grill…we’ve got a infomercial…what else does the Foreman Grill have that we don’t have?  A big loveable black man to make everyone love it!”  What they fail to realize is that the George Foreman grill is genius and makes food delicious.  The Flavorwave is the bastard child of a shady homemade microwave and a hot plate.  I’m not eating a damn thing that comes out of that machine.  I don’t care if Mr. T doesn’t like his pizza soggy.  I don’t believe him.  The food in the commercial doesn’t even look that tasty.  So you know it is going to taste like hell when you get it home.  I don’t want to eat frozen steak in 9 minutes.  That ain’t natural.

You know what else ain’t natural?  The way Mr. T looks now.

Mr. T got rid of the chains and his beard no longer gets a proper line up.  Will someone let Mr. T cut his mohawk?  He’s had a mohawk so long that it went out of style and came back. It isn’t even a Mohawk anymore, he just looks like his barber cuts a really shitty fade.  Someone out there has got to love Mr. T.  Take that brother to a barbershop so he can get a grown ass man haircut.

Oh and he spent so much time making his “Mad Mr. T” face that his wrinkles are starting to make him look a bit like a reverse Lieutenant Worf.

Oh, and there is always the collection of chicks taking their own pictures with cell phones in their bathroom.

That might be the best unintentional side effect of technology in the last decade.