Vida Guerra Has a New Career

I actually remember the exact moment it happened. I was flipping through an issue of FHM (terrible I know, but it was good at the time) and saw something that let me know my life’s work would be in Assology. Here is that picture:

A few interesting things about this picture. One, Vida was bringin the heat back in 2002. Second, it is incredible how quickly half naked women become unsexy. Here I was thinking naked was timeless, but that high cut pink leopard over there on the left is horrible. So this picture is when Vida started to cement herself on the Mount Rushmore of bad chicks.

For the last decade, she has been consistently killing it in every picture she was in.

She was selling thick, and sales were swift. But now, she’s gone the other way. She’s become a fitness model.


It is hard to be mad at a woman who is in great shape like that, but as soon as I saw these pictures I had to know. I had to know if the tail game would be preserved during this radical change.

Awwwwwwww! Well, look it’s no longer effectively aggressive, but it is definitely aggressively effective.

Interlude: Vida still looks good in that picture, but that dude on the left looks so ridiculous, I had to include this picture. He looks like a rejected G.I. Joe character. He’d have a name like Roadblock, Knockout, Tractor, or Calvin. You can tell he’s on that stuff because he has baby feet.

I will say this about the fitness model business. It must be like rehab for stripper heels. When 4 inch heels with clear bottoms are ready to give up the life of walking around on stage in strip clubs, they can go to fitness competitions and try to class that place up.

That was just gratuitous. And so is this reminder that things used to be a lot more gratuitous around here.

I had the interns scour the internet for the elusive Angle 2. Apparently they never, ever turn sideways in fitness competitions. They just look forward then instantly turn around. But you know I always get what I need.

Once again, the woman looks incredible. But I never thought I’d see the day when Vida Guerra would have to pose with the “tail out back arch” in an Angle 2 shot. How things have changed.

Still a lifetime 1 on the UvT Binary scale though.

-Brock