Chris Bosh Isn’t Alone: It’s Spreading…

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Last week, Chris Bosh got the Man Up treatment for breaking out this gem at fashion week.

But he is not alone, I don’t know if it is fashion week or if Boshism is running wild.  They got Omarion too.

At least Omarion went really hard with it.  If you are gonna be a clown, go full clown.

He won’t give it up either.  No one else can even look at him.  Here’s the rule, if you are a man and going to go hard from a fashion standpoint you’ve got to pick one thing and go with it.  You can’t go with the Frank Sinatra jacket, the Michael Jackson socks, the Howdy Doody bowtie, and Mr. T’s rings.  Maybe just go jacket next time.  Also, how short do his pants have to be to show that much sock.  Chris Bosh is 6’10″ with cuffs and is trying to show off his sthpethal striped socks and he isn’t showing as much leg as Omarion here.  This is ridiculous.

Hey O, the brother two seats down is giving sit like a grown ass man lessons.  You are invited…and you can bring your friend sitting next to you too.

-Brock

From bad to worse: Raz B reverses himself

I actually hate this story, but it’s just so wild that I feel like I have to write on it. As I said before, Raz B, formerly of B2K and his brother Ricky Romance (ha) claimed that their manager and cousin Chris Stokes molested them as children.

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They even went so far as to say “my assh*le hurt”.. What? Well, now he’s going back on that claim. His brother, Mr. Romance, says that his 180 degree turn was done under duress. Who knows. All I know is, that if you say publicly that you did some ole gay sh*t like this, you’ve done some, regardless of whether Chris Stokes did it or not. It’s all wild and out of control to me. Peep the video of collage of this nonsense.

Geez. Somehow “Sike” doesn’t really do it for me on the denial tip. Oh and Omarion has come out to say that he never saw any “inappropriate activity” back in the day.

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Dude, damn near everything about you is “inappropriate”.

- Lake

===============UPDATE================

Hey, R&B fans, what’s worse, getting molested by Chris Stokes while he runs your horrible music career or this new Raz B “video”.

Geez, that was fucking horrible.  I mean, from that garbage Arabian princess sample to this fool poppin’ and lockin’ in someone’s backyard, literally, to Raz B standing up on top of someone’s crib in all black.. it’s just all horrible.  That cat just ran up on that wall and jumped off it…ha  At least I think he did, the screen cut out.  Dude, you can’t do your beats on a Casio keyboard, then edit your video on your iBook and expect the thing to be hot.

Homo Erectus Part 3: B2K, Marques Houston, Omarion, et. al.

Man, have I or have I not been talking about the fact that R&B is just an inherently shady enterprise?

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I mean, the bottom line is that you’ve got cats who are interpretational, artistic and sensitive crooning with cornrows, wife beaters and an ice grill on their face. I mean, if these cats weren’t doing R&B, they’d probably be doing ballet, interior design or something. Well, here’s the proof. This cat Raz B from B2K is officially putting all these cats and “how they get down” on blast.

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Look, there have been rumors that ALL these cats were gay for years. That includes all the fools from Immature (which includes Marques Houston, all these managers (Chris Stokes and company) and all these B2K (Raz B, Omarion, Ricky Romance etc.) cats.

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Can someone explain this picture to me? Yes, that’s Marques Houston, that one eyed fool and that other random cat from Immature shirtless, in bed together with the collective Zoolander expression…Crazy. And what’s even wilder is this video about the whole culture of Chris Stokes sponsored gay wildness.

Ummm, anyway, in this video, Raz B alleges that his cousin and manager Chris Stokes, Marques Houston, and all the rest of those infinitely suspect cats were involved in some “let me touch it” (4:10 mark). Note that he said, “It all started with Chris Stokes.” Then there’s something about “the guys,” which I can only assume are the members of the group, being asked to “take showers together.” YIKES!

Ahem. This cat’s name is “Ricky Romance” and he’s wondering how he got caught up in some gay shit? Lordy… I also find it interesting how this dude is saying “I’m not bitter and I’m not trying to get even” but meanwhile, homey has all of this on speaker phone, up on youtube!!! Damn.

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(That’s Stokes on the left)

And why is it that whenever somebody gets on some ole gay shit, the next thing that comes out of his mouth is some Bible verse and a reference to their newborn child? Arrrrggggh. Look, I’m in no way trying to minimize or belittle the trauma that must be associated with sexual assault, but don’t talk about “seeing God” and then backing that up with “I’ve been speaking in tongues since I was 11 years old” around a discussion of sex acts with your manager/cousin!

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You know what, this is all a bit too wild for me. Makes you wonder what Omarion was really thinking about in this shot.

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Terrible. No more posts on this topic. Ugly.

- Lake

Homo Erect-us Part 2

Look, I hate to keep harping on this, but I only have one question for you R&B fans, which one is the man in this relationship.

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Kind of hard to figure out, right? Do you go with the smooth and confident cat on the left who in the absence of this clown to his right could actually be taken seriously in a civilized society or do you go with the “I likes it smooth, then rough” clown on the right who has that eerie hard/soft, “I hit the weights and the salon erryday,” too tight shirt that reveals the extra tight tricep cat? Tough decision right? Look, both of you cats look gay, but maybe that’s just me. Why not just go with the early 90′s matching sweater vests ala Boyz II Men.

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These cats definitely need a spoon full of my favorite nutritious breakfast treat.

Hey Omarion, You’ve got my mom’s scarf where your heart used to be and I don’t like it. Not one bit. It’s times like these that I actually appreciate 50 Cent. Lie to me. Act hard, something, anything to avoid this type of shit.

-Lake

Homo Erectus lives…

I done told you fools about these soft R&B man-on-man duets. I can say the same for this Lil Bow Wow loves Omarion combination, but I think their album cover says it all.

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Seriously, if you had no clue who either of these dudes were and you just looked at Omarion’s face in isolation, what would you think was on his mind? And what are they doing at the bottom on this picture? What, is this the suspect, two-man soft thug version of “I am Legend“? WTF? Rule No. 1 violations all over the place. Red card, technical foul, 5 minute major penalty, one stroke addition, one point deduction and every single other way I can tell you to stop doing this type of shit. This is the UvT version of a yellow card, a black and white picture that tells you what I think:

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Don’t make me go to my standard joint that to date has been reserved for Ted Haggard, Larry Craig and Trent Lott. Stop doing soft duets, stop spending more time on your hair than you do your gear and stop looking over each other’s shoulder in a hope of catching a glimpse of the other dude’s eye…talking about “face off”. I don’t need that, nobody does.

In fact, no “face” references at all from here on out. You’ve been warned.

- Lake