The Eagles Have a New QB: White Mike

I ran my first Fantasy Draft yesterday (not the UvT Draft, that’s Saturday), then I saw something that could have changed up the entire draft. Michael Vick (who went 7th in my league) had changed. Something was different. It would have changed his draft position dramatically. Mike Vick is white.

The article this image was attached to was actually pretty interesting. Toure really goes through great efforts to show that race and racism isn’t as simple as changing skin color. That there are a lot of things that come with race that you can’t control. His biggest point is that you can’t just take Mike Vick the quarterback and switch his skin (and presumably his 40 time). His point was that if Mike Vick were white, he probably wouldn’t have been born into a rough section of Newport News and his entire life would have been different.

Let’s talk about what is really important though. Like, what was the thought process of the person responsible for photoshopping Michael Vick into a white man. Sure, you’ve got to change the skin tone. That’s easy. Straight hair? Sure. Then he decided it was important to leave the goatee. I don’t too many white cats who support the goatee other than Jim Rome.

But the artist left the goatee in there anyway. Here’s where it gets interesting. They really went with the no sun version of Michael Vick. Like this dude has been shut inside for 4 years. Then there was the decision to make the lips smaller. I can’t tell if something was also done to the nose. You would assume they might want to change it, but I don’t know that they did.

I will tell you this about Mike Vick being a white quarterback. If he played ball the exact same way. With a run first mentality. With so much speed he makes defenders hit each other? They might have inducted him into the hall of fame before he was done playing. He would be held out as the greatest athlete ever. The man who finally broke the lack of speed stigma on behalf of white people all over the world.

-Brock

 

Donovan McNabb is an Asshole

So the great return of Mike Vick got off to a bit of an anticlimactic start on Thursday night. 6 plays, 4-4 passing for 19 yards and a one yard run.

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Nothing crazy yet, other than Andy Reid trying to get a feel for his wildcat offense. I’m sure PETA will try to make him change the name to something else. No animal names when Mike Vick is on the field.

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I thought it went pretty well. Andy Reid only had two preseason games to let the league know that anyone playing the Eagles is going to have to plan for every possible formation with Mike Vick on the field. He might be under center, he might be lined up in the slot, he might be in the shotgun and he might be running flip passes and options.

Vick tried to take off on a run that didn’t go much of anywhere, but he said he felt good. Then Donovan McNabb came out and let everyone know that he didn’t think it went so well. Donovan said he didn’t feel like the offense had a chance to get in rhythm with Mike Vick in he game, which is starting quarterback for “Damn, that pass Mike threw really snapped off his hand, this cat is NOT taking my job”.

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Meanwhile Mike Vick is out there talking about how he wanted to keep getting better so he could try to get a starting job back. Hey fellas, the script at this point of the season the script states that both of you should be saying “We both just want to do what we can to help this team win.”

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You know?  Hug it out, bitches.  Donovan has done this before too. Remember when TO and Donovan were all tight when TO first got to town?

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Once they started losing TO didn’t mean a damn thing to Donovan. At least that lasted for a little more than a season. Mike has only had a few snaps.  Vick plays the whole second half on Thursday, and I’m thinking Donovan isn’t rooting for him to have a great game.  If he does, it is gonna get really ugly, really quickly.

Which pretty much means I can’t wait.

-Brock