Man Up Monday – Come on Bruh Edition: LeBron James

The end of the NBA season is always tough for me. We are officially in what I like to call “the drought”. It is officially baseball season, there is apparently only a little bit of hockey left too. This may be the worst drought ever with the NFL lockout in full effect and no football on its way. I guess I’ll have college football to look forward to, but I just moved to the west coast and those games are gonna be coming on at 9am. As sad as that is, I have a job to do. My twitter feed started blowing up at about 8:30 Pacific last night. There was only one man who could have possibly gotten the Man Up Monday treatment this week.

LeBron, LeBron, LeBron. This is gonna sting a little bit.

LeBron James was in the discussion to be one of the greatest, if not the greatest player ever about two weeks ago. Even Scottie Pippen said so. The Heat had beat the Celtics, looked strong against Chicago and looked like they were ready to show everyone that the big three experiment was going to pay off. Instead, everything fell apart. By everything, I mean specifically, LeBron James. Dwyane Wade looked great. He was making crazy blocks, faster than everyone else on the break, stepped up when his team needed him, everything. Chris Bosh was ready. He was solid all the way through. Hitting big shots. Being a real presence on the blocks. But the King? The King was no where to be found. I don’t know what was wrong with him, but the dude just looked…regular. Average. Common. Okay. We are used to this guy dominating. There are times where he is completely unstoppable. Shooting from the outside, running to the front of the rim, stopping the other teams best player on defense. I was in the arena when LeBron James destroyed the Detroit Pistons for 48 points to launch the Cavs to the NBA Finals back in 2007. At the time I thought I was there when LeBron “turned the corner”. But apparently that still hasn’t happened. This time, he didn’t score at the end of the game, he couldn’t dribble past anyone, he couldn’t shoot from outside, and he couldn’t find a way to dominate the game. It was actually kinda sad.

It is mighty hard to be the King when you’ve never won anything. Right now I’d rather roll with Bernard King, the Burger King, some King Crab, a plate of Chicken a la King, and the King Jerry Lawler. I mean if Jason Terry was willing to get his tattoo of the Championship trophy lasered off if the Mavericks lost, LeBron should at least consider getting “Chosen 1” burned off of his back or at least changed to something more fitting. Frozen 1. Losin 1. Option 2. Something. The guy really brought it on himself. You could see him getting nervous. You could see him cracking under the pressure. You could see that he wasn’t quite ready. He didn’t want the pressure, no one on that team wanted to take the shot other than Dwyane Wade. It was a little sad really.

The Heat wanted to be the bad boys. They wanted to be the bad guys. They wanted to be villains. They wanted to wear the black hats.

Chris still wanted to wear a brown hat, but that is beside the point. Speaking of Chris. Did everyone stick around long enough to catch this one?

Oh man, could it have been anyone else. I guess now we know who Eric Spolstra was talking about when he said they were crying in the locker room a few months ago. Chris Bosh was the locker room leader on that one. I understand that the loss of a championship is emotional. I understand you might have to rock a good man cry after that, but dropping to your knees? Having to be held up as you get wobbly legged as if you are a baby? That’s simply unacceptable.

LeBron has a lot of issues now. I actually wanted to see the guy win just to see how he would play once he got the monkey off his back. To see what it is like to play when he is completely free and not worried if he is going to be on the long list of “greatest to never win one”. I know what his lesson is going to be for next season though. No celebrations until it is over. After the Celtics series, LeBron wanted to let everyone know he was justified for going to Miami to get a Championship. In game 2, he thought he had the game locked up, but let it all go away. He can’t celebrate until he puts that trophy in the air. At this point, if he ever gets one, I fully expect a Jordan-like tears of joy celebration.

LeBron James…Man Up! You just wrote another chapter in your legacy. Unfortunately, you are cementing the fact that you can’t handle the big stage. Somehow, you went to Miami and made Dwyane Wade look bad. Everyone loves Dwyane Wade. My boy JT had the line of the night though. “If the Heat can just Dwyane Wade a little help in the off season, they should be alright next year. Haaaaa. Man, I thought last off season was bad with The Decision, but LeBron is going to have a long, long year living this one down.

By the way, a special Man Up to Dan Gilbert, the owner of the Cavaliers who sent a message to LeBron telling him there are no shortcuts in life. Hey Dan, just because the guy you hate lost, it doesn’t mean that your team doesn’t suck. I’ve had more drinks in one night than your team had wins last season. Just be quiet. Thanks.

LeBron, turn off the fake swagger. Show up. Get to work. Win some games. Stay humble. Get out of your own head when you get close. You spend too much time worried about the future and how you are going to win your next five titles before you win the first one. It is impossible to win 6 championships at once. That actually is a lot of pressure. Next year, why don’t you show up and try to win just one.

Man Up.



This just in, LeBron was spotted in a park playing checkers. He had to be restrained because he wouldn’t stop yelling “King Me! King Me! King Me!”.

Did you know you have to knock when you visit Lebron’s house? Yeah, even the doorbell doesn’t ring.

I’ll probably drop these all day. Why don’t you follow Us Versus Them on Twitter so you don’t miss out?