Man Up Monday: Kobe Bryant Has the Worst Week Ever!

A week ago I was talking to my brother about the Lakers. It looked all good. They were about to get Chris Paul while moving Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. That meant they might be able to get Dwight Howard from Orlando for Andrew Bynum. It looked like the Lakers were about to make a run. People were hitting me up to try to get Lakers tickets, things seemed good.

Then, in a weird twist, everything changed. CP3 ended up as a Clipper. Dwight Howard is still a Magic, a Magician, (just the fact that both of those sound turrible show you how horrible that team name is). And Kobe doesn’t know what the hell is going on.

Kobe has been making that “This is some bullshit” face all week. I even heard some radio interviews where it was clear he was making that face even though I couldn’t see him. Everyone knows Kobe is a warrior, everyone knows Kobe looks out for himself, we all know Kobe wants to win at least one more Championship and he’s suddenly caught in something that looks an awful lot like a rebuilding year. Kobe is saying all the right things right now, but best believe dude is pissed. Like this:

Kobe is looking at the camera like “You want me to win a championship with Steve Blake, two players who look like ‘Standard Player 1′ in NBA 2K, and a coach who is wearing a grey on gray polo shirt/sweater vest combo?” That’s a Clay Davis special right there.

So as his team falls apart, we also find out he is getting divorced. Wonder why that happened?

You have to think a dude who wears a picture of his own face on a t-shirt is a little full of himself. We all know where this started.

No. Not that icy stare Vanessa Shot him when Kobe was being accused of rape after getting down with a housekeeper in Denver…it was this:

The Amish Ice Cream Man ain’t getting none at home.

Here’s to hoping Kobe Bryant pulls a Man Up and goes full on Derek Jeter right now. I’m talking famous chicks, I’m talking hitting chicks with the Special Edition Christmas Kobe and a signed basketball after one night stands, the playboy of LA. Why not? He’s got nothing to lose. Dude is pretty much on the short list for baddest man on the planet.

Kobe, Man Up! In a good way…I’m in the holiday spirit.

-Brock