March Madnass: We Have a Winner

The month-long adventure known as March Madnass has finally come to an end.

There were a lot of damn votes this year. I mean, there were either a lot of you clicking on those votes, or a few of you clicked a lot of times. Either way, you have declared the favorite woman of Us Versus Them and #TeamUs. She went out in the round of 32 last year, but this year she was ready to make a title run. Your winner of March Madnass 2012 is…

Jessica Biel

I can’t say I disagree, she is one of the original UvT Quality chicks from way back and the original perfect 8 on the White Girl Tail Scale. She’s still bringing the heat too.

While the video chick can always go deep in the competition. No video chick has ever won March Madnass. Maybe I’ll run Ass-clappin August for all the video chicks out there. It will be like the N.I.T. of March Madnass. Although, I might have to let Jessica into that competition too. As I think this is the shot that helped her take home the crown.

She could win Ass-Clappin August too. Someone tell Jessica Biel to hit us up and accept her award. Maybe she can get a UvTee too. As long as I’m handing out imaginary t-shirts she might as well get one too.


March Madnass: The Final – Jessica Biel vs. SueLyn Medieros

It is early April and I think Us Versus Them just had the best March ever. March Madnass has our finalists and we are ready for the final vote for the baddest chick out and the front runner to get  UvT Quality Chick of the year in December.

Shout out to the 62 ladies who didn’t make it this far and to everyone who voted all month. It’s always crazy to me when a chick gets voted out early. Kim Kardashian at least made it to the second round, but Rihanna is overexposed now and got bounced in the first round. She is the Duke University of March Madnass. She’s been a champion so many times people just love to see her go down. (Anyone else read that and renew there hope there might be a Rihanna sex tape floating out there? That would earn her a few new fans.)

As I mentioned, I wanted to leave the Final Four voting wide open to the top two chicks made it into the final competition. I didn’t want anyone pointing to a contest and saying “the real final is Biel vs. Vergara”. I probably would have matched it up that way too, pairing the “mainstream” vs. the “video chick”. That’s the way it worked out anyway.

I know you didn’t come here to read. On to the ladies. As with the final last year I want to make sure you have everything you need. We are going with a full breakdown, face, body, tail and Money shot.

Jessica Biel:





and the full on Money Shot: 

That last find might be some of my best work ever.

SueLyn Medieros:




Money Shot: Not moving, but still great.

I’ve done all I can do. Things are completely out of my hands. The rest is up to you Team Us. Let’s pick a winner and crown our champion.





March Madnass: The Final Four

The Final Four has been selected. According to #TeamUs these are the baddest four chicks in all the land. We lost Laura Dore, the last Final Four participant from last year. Of course, our 2011 champion, Stacey Dash wasn’t in this year. Let’s meet the ladies of the Final Four. I tried to hit each lady with an angle 2 and something in motion. Voting is wide open on this one. Everyone gets two votes. The top two vote getters go into the final next week.

First up, we have Jessica Biel. Nts5 in the comments said Jessica Biel lost a step, but the pic is from 2012 still looks like UvT Quality to me.

Then of course there is this level of commitment to her craft.

That’s right, I’m not going to make this easy on you.

Next Up, Esther Baxter:

I couldn’t find a quick gif on Esther, so I found a short video that should give you more than everything you need.

If you consider that too much footage in comparison to the other ladies, shoot me something short and I’ll update it.

Our third entry into the Final Four is SueLyn Medieros:

Yeah, that’s great. This is too.

Of course, if you want that real NSFW video heat, you can check the link over at my boy TurdFerguson’s Blog by clicking HERE. You know I don’t watch those things, but I hear it seems pretty fake.

Finally, we have Esquire cover model Sofia Vergara.

Now I know this is Us Versus Them, the home of Assology, but the internet does not tend to focus on Ms. Vergara’s assets. We get something else entirely.

Subtle…hypnotic.  I’ve got to give you more than that.

The wardrobe people on Modern Family clearly think about Sofia Vergara’s J’s like they are two additional cast members. Making a Golden Globe joke here is beneath me.

So those are your Final Four. Voting runs through at least Saturday. Pass the word, we’re almost to the end.

I apologize if you were somewhere with bad internet speed. That post just totally fucked your browser. Just understand it was for the greater good.


The March Madnass Final Four is SET!

We have our Final Four. I have to say the voting actually gives us a lot of diversity and a strong field.

The Final Four is Jessica Biel, SueLyn Mediaros, Esther Baxter, and Sofia Vergara. Two Actresses. Two video chicks. A cougar. A chick with a sex tape. We’ve got diversity across the board.

I’m going to need to break out the big guns with the pics and videos on this one. I’m also thinking of doing straight up voting instead of trying to match up the women and losing one of the finalists because of the matchup. I never laid out the brackets to show which division would ultimately go up against the other. That way we will be guaranteed to have two fan favorites in the final for the championship on Monday. I’ll try to get the pics and voting up tonight. Check back later for the Final Four round.


March Madnass: The Elite Eight Voting

It is the Elite Eight and it is time to get serious. Last round had the heaviest voting of the whole competition. So I knew I had to step my game up too.

This one is going to be a little photo intense, but these pictures are for the greater good. Now I like to let everyone have as much freedom as possible, but these ladies have made it this far so it is time to make sure only the best UvT Quality babes make it to the Final Four. So it is time to bring it back home, it is time to bring it back to that ass. So this round you get at least one tail shot. In the case of Biel, someone broke out the five booty screenshot. There is no way I’m apologizing for the high quality of that shot. Let’s get to it.

A. Jessica Biel vs. Ines Sainz

Jessica Biel:

Ines Sainz:

B. Jessica Burciaga vs. SueLyn Medieros

Jessica Burciaga:

SueLyn Medieros:

C. Esther Baxter vs. Laura Dore

Esther Baxter:

Laura Dore:

D. Sofia Vergara vs. Miss Rabbit

Sofia Vergara:

Miss Rabbit:

Don’t you want to vote right now? I’m not gonna stop you. Click away. Voting ends Wednesday.

March Madnass: The Elite Eight

I let the voting roll a little longer than expected, but the voting rolled in heavy. March Madnass is coming to an end. Don’t get too sad, still a few more days of voting to go.

Esther Baxter vs. Diora Baird drew some heavy voting and so did Jessica Biel vs. Chiquinquira Delgado. Check the Elite Eight results below. I should be able to get the pics and polling up tomorrow, feel free to send in pictures and videos.

Here are the match ups.

Jessica Biel vs. Ines Sainz

Jessica Burciaga vs. SueLyn Medieros

Esther Baxter vs. Laura Dore

Sofia Vergara vs. Miss Rabbit

Nice mix of women there. A few mainstream chicks made it through. I think Esther Baxter might have what it takes to take out last year’s runner up Laura Dore. We shall see. It is up to the people. Didn’t all the ladies of UvT say they would be jumping back in to start voting about now? It always gets good once women let you know what they like in women.


March Madnass Sweet Sixteen: Round of Applause and Hell Yeah F’n Right Divisions

Here are the rest of the ladies in the Sweet Sixteen of March Madnass.

This might be the tougher of the two divisions. Will America’s sweetheart, Kate Upton, have enough steam to keep it rolling? Jessica Burciaga is going to try to take her down. Is the Sports Illustrated cover model Team Us material? Especially when you are forced to see what is possible in looking at Jessica Biel? Only you can answer those questions. Vote below and let me know what you think. Voting up until Friday.

Round of Applause Division:

Chiquinquira Delgado vs. Jessica Biel






Issa Bayaua vs. Ines Sainz





Hell Yeah F’n Right Division:


Kate Upton vs. Jessica Burciaga





SueLyn Medeiros vs. Sophie Turner






March Madnass Round of 32: Round of Applause Division

I actually want to give a Round of Applause to this division. There are actually some pretty, normal girls here. Sure, we have a few who have the main profession of appearing in music videos, but they are actually cute, not just 46 inch asses. I’m actually shocked in a good way by Diana Levy, she’s cute all around. Vote away.



Mercedes Hawkins vs. Ines Sainz

Jade Wifey vs. Jessica Biel

Chiquinquira Delgado vs. Megalyn Echikunwoke

Issa Bayaua vs. Diana Levy