Dear CNN.com: Don’t Ever Ask Me A Question Like This Again!

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I was catching up on the news, reading my CNN.com, you know trying to stay up on important things going on in the world. Then I saw this:

Isn’t this supposed to be news? HELL NO I ain’t “got a question for Ice-T”. Dammit.

-Brock

—————–UPDATE——————-

Correction, I do have a question.

“What is it like to be the only cat other than Al Sharpton to rock a slicked back perm ponytail for the last 20 years? And even when you got a cut it still looks like you’ve got a slicked back perm?”

———————UPDATE 2——————

Okay, one more.

Do you believe it was your wife Coco who set off the Whooty “White girl with a booty” phenomenon and not Britney Spears? Because…

I’m saying, it could be possible.

-Brock

Coco T is Ridiculous: Someone Please Stop Her

I don’t know what kind of conversations go on in the T family, but they seem to have a challenge understanding where they fit in the world.  Sure, Ice T had a good gimmick back in the day.

Ice T pic

You gotta respect a permed out, West Coast gangster rapper who starred in New Jack City.  But Ice T peaked in like 1988, over twenty years ago.  Dude was born in 1958.  Trying to keep it real just isn’t that hot when you are 6 years away from being able to access that 401K retirement plan money.  I don’t know how old Coco is, but I’m starting to get a “desperate couple trying hard to stay relevant” vibe from the T’s.  Like this for instance.

CocoTSquats

Now I’m supposed to believe that Coco is squatting 17 pounds (silly), in a damn near see through sports bra and capri tights (foolish), while wearing four inch mirrored stripper heels (WTF?)  And no, I don’t believe in that bionic arse piece she’s sporting back there.  I know she thinks it is hot, and her cheek separation game is unmatched, but I feel like that is just a too thick chick who is wider than she is thick that has all her poses and gimmicks together.  These are just old people trying to get naked and I can’t take it no mo!

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Respect to Ice T, I’m sure that young lady is quite a pleasure at the crib.  Ice T is just fat and sloppy and I’m pretty sure that Coco T probably looks like a Oompa Loompa in real life.  That chick can’t be more than 5’3″ and she’s thick as hell…that is potential Oompa Loompa status.

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Yep, those hips just pop out just like Oompa Loompa pants.

And that ain’t right.

-Brock

My Love/Hate Relationship With Halloween

I didn’t talk about this Friday because I really wasn’t inspired.  After all, Halloween is the worst of all holidays in my humble view.

It’s just useless.  I mean, at least St. Patrick’s Day has liquor.  Anyway, I wasn’t at all excited for Halloween until I saw the one thing I do like about it, those terrible costumes:

Ha, well, maybe ti’s not a costume exactly and the pic does have it’s ahem flaws, but it did get me fired up to see what people were wearing.  Now let me start by saying what I really love about Halloween, is that unmitigated hotness that you invariably get.  It’s just a perfect excuse for a babe to dress up with an outfit that shows ALL the goods and the haters can’t say a damn thing about it.

Now see, that’s good, no, GREAT Halloween.  A hype spin on a time honored tradition of super girl.  But as with all things, you have winners and losers on the all hallows tip, even within the sub category of Super Girl:

Now see, that’s very disappointing.  Reggie, get your lady in check my man.  But she wasn’t the only chick f*cking up, looking terrible, not knowing her position:

Dammit, 1. Who let this broad on the red carpet and 2. Why doesn’t she realize that “belly out” is no longer an option for her.

And dammit, that dog!!!  I feel the worst for him.  Where exactly is the ASPCA when you need them?  But Halloween wasn’t all bad.  This little kid NAILED this costume:

Haaaa, hype.  That Dick Cheney/Anniker Skywalker aint nothing but right.  You know what wasn’t right though?

Haaaa, yo, cats can say what they want, but Ice T is living his life loooooooong after his contemporaries have filed for bankruptcy/crapped out on the pipe.  I do not, however, appreciate the way he’s griping tight up on that tail like he’s used to grabbin’ high and cuttin’ low.  Yikes. Happy Belated Halloween peoples.  I went as a smoothed out dude who bought a whole bunch of candy to avoid getting embarrassed at the door like I was last year. Now what in the hell am I going to do with all this candy?

- Lake

Assymetically thick yes, but is it all hers?

When I first saw the Asymmetrically thick Angel Lola Luv, I just figured it was a Coco T special. And in all fairness, we’ll give you one “airbrush free”:

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And one, “airbrush please”:

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Wow. Dude, looking at this, it just makes me want to shut the post down right here. I mean, are you serious? Still I must push on.

I mean, who among us doesn’t 1. Know that’s Coco’s boobs are fake -

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and 2. Think that ass is fake -

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Alright, that’s fine. Call it cultural bias, but I always just assumed that Lola Luv’s ass was so crazy that it just had to be real. I mean, even if you could build that ass, you probably wouldn’t. You wouldn’t go with that low hanger, you’d raise it up a little, right? I mean, you can’t complain as a dude, but if you had to build it from scratch, I think most people would set it a bit higher while maintaining the thunder, punch and overall mass.

But what about those breast-tah-sises? I mean, I just figure when you’re killing it to the south, you just give the north a free pass. I’ll be honest, I figure whatever you have it’s better than the silicone enhancements, but once you’re into entertainment, all bets are off. Like I’m quite sure Melyssa Ford is not all natural.

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I saw her in person and it looked like two torpedoes were coming for me (not that I was complaining or anything).

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Anyway, I’m getting way off track. The point of all this is that I was bumping around the internet today, just doing what I do, and I saw this video of ole girl doing her photo shoot for XXL Mag. Now maybe it’s just me, but I’m beginning to believe that this chick Lola Luv is completely au natural. Judge for yourselves.

[vodpod id=ExternalVideo.445149&w=425&h=350&fv=] from www.worldstarhiphop. posted with vodpod

Dude, wasn’t that wild? Did you see the way everything just laid in there? I really think the chick is all natural. It’s all hers. Next thing you’ll tell me that wig piece is hers too. I know, I know, she’s got Ethiopian in her… believe me, I already know the arguments for it being her real hair. Only, almost nobody rolls weave free these days. I mean, Beyonce rocks a new weave every single day! Which I hate by the way. Out.

- Lake

Thick white woman alert: Mrs. Coco T

Um, there’s just something about this picture that makes you feel a little bit uncomfortable with yourself.

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First, I can’t tell if Coco looks great, better than great or terrible. I think in the streets, they call that “Good n Terrible”. No question, this bikini shot certifies that she indeed beyonds in that U v. T Thick White Woman category…and she will remain safely ensconced accordingly. But I’m not sure I love the way that thong is hittin her tail piece.. And Ice.. damn man.. All I can say is, I’m sorry, but my journalistic integrity forced me into it. One question, implants or no? And you know I’m not talking about those breasts homey.

At least Ice T didn’t go out like Fat Joe did earlier this year….

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“We from the Bronx, NY Shit Happens” – Fat Joe, Lean Back

You aint lied. Dammit that just aint right!

- Lake