Latin Heat: Governor Sanford Likes it Spicy

The GOP can’t catch a break.  I’m almost starting to feel bad for them.  But this just keeps getting worse.  For the people who aren’t buying the B.S. that Sarah Palin is selling for 2012, they were trying to prop up a new hero to roll into the next election.  They tapped the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford and the dude goes hard.

sanford

The man is so opposed to the current administration that he wanted to turn down the stimulus money.  I mean the government is trying to build roads and create jobs dude, this isn’t blood diamond money here.  I feel you though homey…now I’ve driven through South Carolina, and believe you me…take the money homey.  As a black man, I’m not exactly the dude that is going to actually stop and get out of my car in SC…it just isn’t prudent.  Now with ol Marky here, we shoulda known by that pimpin ass picture that he’s got up there that he’s keeping it playerific.

Let me break down what happened for the last week.  Mark Sanford went missing last week.  Let me repeat that, the Governor of South Carolina, one of 50 leaders of one of the States of America went AWOL.  Pause.  Someone in the State Police Department needs to catch an asswhoopin behind that one.  These guys just don’t disappear.  He’s gotta slip and slide a little bit to break out.  I’m talking the old “I’m going to the bathroom” then you slip out of the window.  Then, when they find him, he claims that he was hiking in the mountains…

Come to find out, he was international pimpin in Argentina.

artmarksanfordgi

Man, this guy really just broke under the pressure too.  What the hell was going on in this press conference?  Stick to the script homey, it’s been done before.

1: I apologize to my wife and my family

2: I’ve let down the people of the great state of [insert state]

3: I’ve embarrased myself and I’m disappointed in my actions

4: I will be resigning immediately

OUT.

Instead this dude is talking about his “sparking” relationship?  How things kicked into “overdrive”.  That he was caught 5 months ago and still went to bang out last weekend.  And that he followed up by catching a written asswhoopin from his wife.

Lawd, who is giving this guy advice?

mark-sanford-with-w-bush-2002-yeehaw

My bad.  Man, I don’t know when committing adultery became the automatic eject button from public service, but if it is, this guy caught the wildest ejection of all.  Look at this point, when I hear about illicit relationship in South America, the home of beautiful people and plastic surgery, I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that “Maria” was actually born a woman.  If he had gone to Brazil last week it would be a wrap homey.  We’d find out that “Maria” is actually “Mauricio” and that the Gov here was swordfighting last week.

All things considered, I still support Sanford for 2012.

Sanford for President

Sanford and Son for the White House in 2012.  Fred G. Sanford, S-A-N-F-O-R-D, and the “G” is for GOP, ya big dummy.

-Brock