Hugh Hefner: Reup and Reload

You gotta feel sorry for Hugh Hefner.  He has been dating three women who are literally 1/3 his age for a few years now and his breakup is playing out in the public eye.  It must be really important because on a day when the Dow dropped below 9000 and with less than thirty days before we elect a new President in a campaign that is getting nastier by the day, ol Double H made front page news on CNN.  (Shout to DH from the UvT Facebook page for the link bright and early.  Wait…you haven’t hit it yet?  Just go now.)

Just like the stock market, Hugh just went from an all time high of this:

to tumbling in the market and ending up with this:

Here’s what I don’t understand.  He’s got three girlfriends.  One girl, Holly, broke out on him after he told her he wasn’t getting married or having kids with her…which I’m guessing also means that she also wasn’t getting any of those loot cakes or half of the mansion when Hef taps out either.

So my question is, what happened to the other two chicks?  Where are Kendra and Bridget?  I guess one rolls out and the rest follow.  So are there lonely nights in the mansion in Hef’s future?

Hail naw.  Hef stacks young blondes like weight up in the Playboy mansion.  Instead of messing with chicks 1/3 his age, he reloads the stable…within the day mind you…with twins that are only 1/4 his age.  Introducing Kristina and Karissa Shannon – ahem – 19 year old twins.

Well they got the hot and blonde part right.  I’m sure Hef will be sending them to the old Playboy J factory any day now to throw some D’s on these chicks and make it official.  Intern, you know good and damn well I need that angle 2, why do I even have to ask?

There ain’t never been a problem in the world with an ass to ass shot.  Let’s see, if these chicks are down with Hef, they hang out at the mansion, so you know the pics get better than this right?  Why yes they do.

Ha.  The great thing about twins is that you can evaluate J and tail at the same time.  Ol girl on the right has a bad case of retouchers booty over there.  Went on ahead and dropped a shadow in that ass crack.  I don’t know Hef, the girls next door look like Mustangs sittin’ on dubs up there and he’s starting over with bikes on training wheels.  You gotta believe in the power of Hef though, he never lets you down.  If you want to see a little more of the new girls, you can hit those NSFW joints HERE.

Damn right I’m with Hef.  The man is 82 and his pimp game still can’t be stopped.

-Brock


Anne Hathaway: Hmmmmmmm

Anne Hathaway was apparently in “The Devil Wears Prada”, “Brokeback Mountain” and a bunch of other stuff I didn’t see.  There’s not much about this chick that turns me on, she doesn’t have a lot of swagger, she doesn’t seem to really have that little touch of extra flavor that you need to make things interesting, but it like Mena Suvari, I saw some things that just demand to be addressed.

Say whaaaaat?  It might be the angle, but that J game really has some weight to it.  Let’s take a closer look shall we?

I mean that is girl next door right there.  But not in a good, Jessica Simpson kind of way, I mean in a this chick really looks like that girl who lives next door to you.  Nothing special.  But then I found this:

Just hanging out with her boyfriend on a boat.  Nice wholesome girl.

Hoooooold Up, wait a minute.  Damn, little mama really brings the heat huh?  I don’t think that phone call my man is on is that interesting, and that hair hold back Anne i working is the straight truth.  Come on, right next to my man trying to get some sun next to you?  Hey, her looks don’t do it for me, but I definitely like her style.  Oh, by the way, she’s got that “break into hollywood” NSFW semi-mainstream topless action HERE.

She’s not for me, but if I know Lake, he’s gonna like that J game.  I’m not gonna give her the UvT quality stamp by any means…but are you down with Anne Hathaway?

-Brock