When is a Dack Post Not a Dack Post?

Since Mr. Jezus in the comments let me know I’ve apparently unintentionally launched “Dick Week” without knowing it, I’ll just keep rolling with the theme.

By the way, do you think Rick Santorum knows how much he looks like a dick when he makes that face? He can’t be reviewing tape after these debates, because he makes that face the entire time. It looks like his response to every political point is “I know you think what you’re saying is important, but I know the REAL truth and you’re wrong. It’s just my little secret with myself.”

But that wasn’t the kind of dick I was talking about. I’m talking about the most disturbing picture I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying a lot, because I’ve found some crazy pictures this week. Things can be “weird” disturbing. Where the image is so odd that it just makes your skin crawl.

Like this:

Which one is the real Drake? I don’t know. My guess is the dude in the second row in the white sweater.

Or there are things that will disturb you because they should be happy situations, but they went horribly wrong. When someone should be having the time of their life, but instead they find themselves in a situation that is too much for them to handle like this guy:

He still looks happy. But I’m not sure he knows what to do next. Her ability to hold the ceiling with her entire hand clearly demonstrates that this chick is the only female offspring of Andre the Giant. But how small is the dude? Hasn’t he figured out that it might be a good idea to lose the glasses? I think it would improve the experience for him.

But as disturbing as those last things were, this is WORSE. Seriously. It should be NSFW, but it isn’t. Only because of a technicality. Which I’m pretty sure is still NSFW, because if you have to explain as much as you would have to explain this picture, you probably are looking at the wrong stuff at work anyway. Seriously, on the UvT NSFW scale of 1-6 it swings from one side of the spectrum to literally off the chart immediately. I’ll explain after you’ve had the opportunity to see the pic.

SEE!

I’m sorry. It has an explanation built right in and it’s still awful. Most optical illusions are broken as soon as you know the secret. But this one is so crazy that you can bring it back at will. You literally have to keep reminding yourself it’s just a thumb.

Has a picture ever gone more wrong than this. It was the most innocent picture ever. A full on 1 on the UvT NSFW scale. Just some friends hanging out. It got a little silly when they both went to kiss him. Not my kind of funny, but I get it. Suddenly, the Bieber looking dude in the middle is smiling while he’s about to get tongued down by a dude and a half naked tranny. That’s not even a 6 on the scale, that is a 7…the image shouldn’t exist.

I wonder if the camera man fully appreciated the magic captured here. One step in either direction and this picture doesn’t happen.

So yeah, I’m sorry. I’d rather shorten the year to 51 weeks than have “Dick Week” here at Us Versus Them. It wasn’t my intent.

-Brock