Man Up Monday: The Casey Anthony Trial

The Casey Anthony trial is the biggest news I didn’t have any desire or incentive to watch. I remember her daughter disappearing, I remember the stories of her partying soon thereafter, and I know they have been talking about this on TV way too much in the last few weeks. HLN isn’t going to know what to do next week when Casey Anthony goes free. They’ve been running live feeds of the courtroom like real courtrooms are actually interesting.

They had Casey Anthony on picture in picture like she might break wide open downfield for the touchdown. This wasn’t exactly Law & Order.

The jury decided that Casey Anthony was not guilty of First Degree Murder and the entire world lost its collective mind. Everyone had already decided that she shouldn’t get off. When Caylee disappeared, no one was too excited to see this:

Usually, a picture like this would actually excite people. But it didn’t really win Casey any fans once people found out her daughter was missing. Here is another example of why Facebook is evil. Casey Anthony had pictures of her whole life on the internet. It is not hard to find pics of Casey getting it in. I’m talking costumes, pics with drinks in hand, pics with dudes, pics with chicks, funny faces, everything. If there is something you don’t like, there is a good chance there is a picture of Casey Anthony doing it.

Don’t like Strippers? Casey throws on the heels and gets it in on a glass stage.

Don’t like desecrating the flag?

Well pull up a novelty bucket of beer and a Jersey Shore Super Sayian gone wrong who doesn’t quite understand what honoring America means, Casey has you covered.

Don’t like overrated football teams with money taking players, little to no administrative control, and no chance of being competitive for the next five years?

Casey is down with you. Side note, does anyone remember/have the video of the sexy Ohio State webcam chick? Is Casey Anthony that chick? For those of you who have seen it, this will be enough of a reminder. Itz? You on it?

Do you hate not famous guys pretending like they are famous?

Those T-shirts have to stand for “Douche Bag Crew” don’t they? This is so unbelievable she actually looks photoshopped in. I wonder if Casey ever got into any trouble in any of these parties. I know who can get to the bottom of this.

I hear he’s in Florida these days.

So the jury said she didn’t do it. Leave them alone. They didn’t see what they needed to see. They had a reasonable doubt. The prosecution asked them to give her the death penalty. Anyone want to guess how many hot chicks are on death row? I haven’t toured the country, but I’m guessing none. It is one of the benefits of being a sexy chick in America. You don’t buy your own drinks. You don’t lift your bag into the overhead on planes. You don’t end up on death row. That’s another reason this isn’t an OJ situation. As I explained last week, this is completely different.

We’re taking bets on what Casey Anthony’s next job is going to be. Is she going to write a book? Reality show? Go to jail for something else (that would be an OJ situation). I’ve got “unknowingly getting mocked in radio interviews” in the UvT office pool.

If you are still wasting mental space on the Casey Anthony case, Man Up and move on. This particular train wreck is over, for now.

-Brock