I’ve done it.  I’ve completed my magnum opus.  I’ve written a lot, but nothing has summarized my life’s work like this.  Assology all boiled down in one place.  Inspiration struck and I brought the message back to Us Versus Them.

I present the Ten Ass Commandments.  For those of you not familiar with my inspiration, please press play and follow along below with Notorious B.I.G. Ten Crack Commandments.

Enjoy.

I been in this game for years, it made me an animal

An assologist, I wrote me a manual

A step by step booklet for you to get
your game on track, don’t check for an ass that’s wack

Rule nombre uno: peep that ass on the low
Never get caught staring, cause you know
The booty cheeks breed jealousy ‘specially
if her man peeps you, then your ass is through
Number two: muffin tops are not a good move
Don’t you know Big Girls are packing fats round their cracks
Butt blends into their back (uh-huh)
You can squeeze mad cheeks of these freaks but they waist ain’t straight.

Number three: never trust no-boo-ty
These hoes’ll gel that ass up, properly pumped up
Fluff that ass up, for that fast butt
she got silicone in the tights to hype that ass up

Number four: know you heard this before
BBD was right, don’t trust big butts and a smile,

Number five: never trust females with a fail tail
I don’t care if they got big J’s , say no way

Number six: that damn Booty Pop, Stop
You think those pads are real back, you’ll regret it

Seven: this rule is so underrated
The ass and the thigh should be completely separated
Jeans might make it look real sweet, but if there’s no real crease
Find yourself a big draws beast,

Number eight: White chicks can have tail too,
Kim K and Mena Suvari got a mean angle two,

Number nine shoulda been number one to me
If you a fail tail you’re not for UvT (uh-huh)
If you ain’t packin cakes, you can’t chill with Lake
And Brock don’t even see ya, you are just a zero

Number ten: stay up on Assology
A life philosophy, a law not theory
If you don’t understand then you gotta go
Cause that’s what we’re talking rain sleet hail snow

Follow these rules you’ll always stay on Team Us
If not, you’re Team Them, you’ll never be with us
You’ll hear AHNT when we see ya, you can never shake us
And you can never take Us, ain’t got ass so
Your girl want’s to talk her J’s up, heard in three weeks
she went from an A to a D Cup

Heard they’re good fakes, and she can make em shake up

but she’s a fail tail, so the J’s ain’t enough, word up, uhh

-Brock