Vladimir Putin Is Always Ready

Vladimir Putin is the President of Russia and every time we see him he’s doing something awesome. This is no exception. [Read more...]

Kate Upton’s Boobs Defy Gravity!

I got this video link sent to be about a billion times over the last two days. I think a few people hit me on Twitter, email, Facebook, all that. We all know Kate Upton from her Dougie video. But now she’s doing another dance, I haven’t exactly seen this version before…but you know what I like it. Kate Upton, damn near naked, rocking the Cat Daddy.

I have to say my favorite part of the video is she really warms it up slow until the beat drops. Also, the chick goes hard as hell for these dances. I also don’t know where she got this level of confidence, but I think her J’s should have busted free from that top about four or five times during that video. She is committed to rocking these joints as hard as she can. That’s why you have to love cute girls, she’s not the worlds greatest dancer, but she is getting all the bonus points she can. Bonus, she was in Terry Richardson’s studio, so we get a few extra flicks out of the deal. There may be other sites that just hit you with the video, but you know here at Us Versus Them we go the extra mile. You can get more pics at Terry’s blog.

We have Kate with her Jay-Z, New York swag.

The her trademark “disappearing bikini bottom” shot.

I think Kate is actually lucky she doesn’t have hips or ass, or she wouldn’t be able to wear that bikini.

Also, and I think I’ve mentioned this before, and I’m not a dude who is into J’s, but damn.

Just damn. I look at it this way. I am the worlds leading purveyor of assology and she looks like she is wearing Coco T on her chest. So I see how I might get sucked into appreciating her appeal.

-Brock

 

Snakes J’s and Silicone

This is spectacular. Not because this is a ridiculous premise for a video shoot. Not because this chick is way too comfortable with a snake. Not because the snake gets a really good grip on that J.

But because when the bite actually happens, and I have no idea whether that language is Spanish, Portuguese, or anything else, but the dude clearly says “at-chacha-cha Tit-teeeeeeeee”.

Good to know some elements of language are universal.

-Brock

Rosa Acosta: REALLY Casual Friday

This is something to get your Friday right. this may be NSFW depending on how relaxed it is at your office. I won’t bore you with my usual ramblings this time. Interns…….. earn your pay.

It’s heating up.
It's heating up

Oh My!
OH MY

WHOOOAAAAA
WHOAAAAA

BOOM SHAKA-LAKA!!!
BOOM SHAKA-LAKA!!

-Triple B

Eva Amurri: She Got It From Her Mama!

So I’m a dude who follows the J-game pretty closely. (read: very closely). You know, typical stuff like keeping a list in my head of the top players in the game. Hall of famers, 40-somethings, rookies, so forth. So when I heard that Susan Sarandon’s daughter was bout to pop up in a few skripping scenes on the show Californication, my curiosity was piqued. I mean… Susan Sarandon has put in some work in this here game:

susansarandon

She was bad back in the day, but how did it hold up?

susansarandon2

(damn, Sue…)

But I had never really heard of her daughter, Eva Amurri. And wasn’t quite sure if the next generation could really bring the heat like that. So, like the good sleuth that I am, I dug in on the internets to find some info on the chick.

susaneva

Ok, we might be working with something. But let’s just clarify this. Lil Mama can you help me out on this one?

evalilmama

Still curious. Let’s just zoom in for an angle 1, shall we?

evajs

OK, OK! We’re good to go here. [applause]. Unfortunately, young Eva has failed to even give us even an angle 1.5. And so far, the angle 1.2s don’t look promising. So I dug deeper. Now I wouldn’t know for sure, but I’m almost positive the Brits might have an extra NSFW look at this development. Yes. Yes, they do! [that is about a 4 on the NSFW scale. Ed.]

[Stone Phillips Voice]  But no one was prepared for what would come next…

evafailtail

Well, Eva, thanks for playing. Stay in touch. We’ll keep an eye out for you. But… no, baby. Don’t give me those doe eyes. You know your boy Slick still loves you. You’re still coming over later, right? m-Kay-bye. Ha. Fellas, just remember where she got it from. And that there are many, many ways to love your woman.

evajs2

Sho ‘nuff!

-Slick Jefferson

Today is National Free Your Js Day!

Today is National Go Topless Day, with marches all across the land (pics of NYC march, NSFW)…

alg_manhattan_topless

This is something we can all get behind.

Who exactly decides when “National Free Yo’ Titties Day” Is?  And you know somewhere, somehow, some guy is going to F tonight, based on the fact that it’s Free Yo’ J Day.  First she wants to liberate the J, just because of today (wink, wink) next thing you know, he’s liberating dat azz.  The sexual double think, it’s a thing of beauty.  Reminds me of the time I got a piece because of Biggie, “I’m F*ckin You Tonight”….  Hilarious but true. In fact, just for nostalgia, let’s run that joint.

Hey, I’m all for it as long as it’s ok to look.

pdiddy-jessica-biel-stare

Like, don’t just think you’re going to whip out some Js and not have dudes look.  That’s part of the deal.  Same goes for you breastfeeding that brat.  If you want tits on toast, literally, know that I’m going to look at the menu, thanks.

- Lake

That Ain’t Right: Shake Weight

I understand that some inventions just aren’t going to make a lot of sense.  I also understand that there are things just for the ladies that I don’t understand.  I also understand that guys only think about sex all the time.  Sometimes all of those things come together in odd ways, but that still doesn’t explain why someone things something like this is reasonable.

Right, and I have just a few questions about that:

Why was it designed specifically for women?

I wish I knew I could have gotten a hand job by telling a chick that I could teach her about “dynamic inertia”

shakeweight

Ladies, you should always use two hands.

I would like to try the “behind the neck technique”

shake_weight

I could probably cut your exercise routine down to 3 minutes a day.

The shake weight is the most graphic example of silliness, but there is another product that is almost as bad.  Apparently, women have a major problem with their body parts during the night because now they are supporting the J’s in the middle of the night.  Check out the Kush Support.

kushsupport

Is this really a problem for the ladies?  Once again, let me let you all in on a little secret.  If there are ladies out there who need a hard, cylinder shaped object to nestle between your breasts in the middle of the night, I’m sure there are several men out there to help you.  I’m sure there are plenty of sleeping positions that can accommodate this need.  It will put an even bigger smile on your face too.

What is next, Jaw supports?  Tail lifters?  Let’s see if we can make it a little more unintentionally graphic next time.

-Brock

Audrina Patridge’s Body Cannot Be Denied

This doesn’t take much analysis, but I just can’t stop looking at these crazy Audrina pictures.

audrina-patridge-burger-69

Dude, look at that belly.  Is that a Whooper in her hand?  I mean, my lord.  And you know them Js are real too?  Now look, I know she’s not known for any legitimate backside, but the jury is back.  Audrina Partridge is a bona fide success!

SPL40974_001

And she while she did it the low way, remember she released those naked pictures, both parts ONE and TWO, only days before her second season of THE HILLS premiered, it’s hard to deny how effective that move was.

audrina-patridge-nude

Whatever the case my be, I gotta say, I like it.  I mean, this babe really does her thing in a bikini and her face is just vacant enough to damn near guarantee a sex tape inside of 3 years.

audrina-patridge-bikini-pics

Look for her to release that in front of her impending Reality Show…  Nice work (to her mom and dad).  That body is fairly nuts.  thx

- Lake