Man Up Monday: Pau Gasol

No big man can escape the the posterizations that Blake Griffin hands out on a near-daily basis. But these dunks over Pau Gasol really take it to the next level. We all remember the dunk over Kendrick Perkins, but I couldn’t really blame Perk for that. Perkins got beat on a basketball play and just lost the battle in the air. Pau Gasol is another deal altogether.

I really think it was that last elbow to the chin that really makes it look bad. Blake just dominated the bigger man there. I think bailing out on the play actually isn’t worse than ending up on the floor after getting dunked on. As if that wasn’t bad enough, it got much worse.

That seems unnecessary. Blake saw it coming all the ay too. He was just creeping toward the rim as the shot went up. Once again Pau ends up on the ground.

Those are football plays right there people. It would be scary to see what those collisions would be if Griffin had on pads and a helmet. I’m betting Pau Gasol still wouldn’t want any.

So Pau Gasol, you need to Man Up! That was embarrassing. If you aren’t quite sure exactly how. Check your boy Kendrick Perkins. He understands what it takes to Man Up.

That’s how you make it happen.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: The NBA Dunk Contest and Miguel Cabrera

I feel bad for the NBA Dunk Contest, I really do.  It used to be must see TV, it used to feature the hottest players in the game, it used to be something that players really wanted to win.  Now it like an episode of Wipeout with real athletes. Balls are bouncing all over the place, the highlights are better than the actual show, and once it is over you wonder why you ever watched in the first place.

First problem, I only recognize one of those dudes.  From right to left, a guy who thought it was a good idea to retrieve a stuffed animal with his mouth on national TV, a guy who looked about as bored dunking as I was watching, Blake Griffin who can jump out of the gym, and the big fella who would have been okay if he could actually hit the dunks he thought up.  I understand creativity is key, but so is actually being able to hit the dunks.  I’ve got an idea, let’s judge everything on a 40 point scale, with 10 automatic bonus points for hitting the dunk on your first try.  I bet no one will be rolling out the extra basket then.

And what was the winning dunk?

Blake Griffin flying over a gigantic product placement advertisement.  Does it get worse?  I want someone to take it back to the old school.  Just get out there and dunk hard, make it look easy.  Spin around in the air, dunk it with one hand or two, whatever, just leave the props at home.  I think it would actually work.  Blake Griffin’s best dunk was the first one he attempted.  Roll in with one hand, late spin and a dunk with two hands.  Just a guy, a ball, crazy hops and opportunity.  Old School.  You want to know how to Man Up, take a look at Larry Nance.

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That is 1984. Dude is flexing in mid air.  That is how you Man Up in a dunk contest.  By the way, the 1984 Dunk Contest was Larry Nance, Dominique Wilkins, Clyde Drexler, Ralph Sampson and Dr. freaking J, some of the best of the era. Then next year in 1985, Michael Jordan got in.  Where is LeBron? Dwayne Wade?  Why didn’t we ever get a Kobe, Vince, Lebron, Wade dunk off? No one wanted to lose to Vince?

Dunk Contest, Man Up!

By the way, if you want to waste an entire day looking at old school dunk contests, check this link, it literally has everything.

Hoopism

Vince Carter was in 2000…it was completely bananas if you’ve never spent time looking at the video.

Part two of Man Up Monday this week is for Miguel Cabrera of the Detroit Tigers.  Dude was picked up for DUI sitting in his truck on the side of the road with the hood smoking, 100 miles away from his house in the backwoods of Florida, proceeds to take a swig of cheap liquor in front of the cop and immediately gets arrested.  Look, all of that is messed up, dude clearly has some issues he needs to work through.  What I need him to Man Up on is his concept of what happens at the police station.

My man pulled it together for the mugshot like he was taking a High School yearbook picture.  He’s already in county issued gear too. When you get popped by the cops you gotta go hard for the mugshot pic.  How drunk was this dude?

Miguel Cabrera, Man Up!

-Brock

NBA Draft: Things Are Getting Wild

I don’t remember an NBA Draft that has had this much action around it.  I thought 2010 was supposed to be the wild free agent season…you know when the Knicks get LeBron (AHNT).  But going into the draft, players started flying all over the place.  The Spurs picked up Richard Jefferson.  ATL got Jamal Crawford.  Then the big stuff happened.  I guess the Magic are trying to stay in contention next year, especially with Hedo Turkoglu saying he might bounce, becuase they just picked up Vince Freaking Carter.  I don’t think Dunk Contest Carter is showing up any time soon, but he’s still got something in the tank.

vince_carter_dunks

I like this one.  They get rid of Rafer Alston, who was a backup anyway.  So they run with Howard, Rashard Lewis, Vince and Jameer Nelson.  I like it.  Scoring everywhere on that squad.  Does it push them over the edge?  I don’t think so.  But I think they are better.  The Celtics will be back, although it might be without Rondo.  And up in Cleveland, team LBJ added the big fella.

Shaq and Lebron James Cavs

Yeah, that might be nasty right there.  I know teams have to change to use Shaq, and I’m not sure they really get that much better, but at least there is someone else on the court that they have to pay attention to.  I’m more excited to see Shaq’s interviews this summer than I am to see him play.  This should make LeBron really happy.  They still need a “Scottie Pippen” as far as I’m concerned.  Tracy McGrady anyone?  It took a while for Tracy to figure out he was better as a #2 man, now it is time for him to find out that he is really a better #3.  Now THAT squad might have a shot if they could keep T-Mac and Shaq healthy for more than 20 games a season.

Then the Clippers picked up their #1 guy.

blakegriffin

That “and then what” was killing me on ESPN this morning.  I’m guessing they weren’t thinking about the Mannie Fresh and Jeezy track when they dropped that headline.

The funniest thing, was Dickie V got on TV long about pick #18 to declare that Tyler Hansbrough was going to be an immediate contributor and that Steph Curry was the steal of the draft and future rookie of the year.  Whatchu Talkin Bout Dickie V?

whatchutalkinboutdickiev1

Man, now I see why people think he is annoying.  The dude just says whatever he wants to, no matter how ridiculous it sounds.

There will be a lot to watch in the NBA next year.  I’m calling Brandon Jennings as bust of the year too.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: College Basketball #1 Seeds

Damn, it really is hard to be on top.  It is so hard, that no one can stay up there for more than about a week.  In fact, lately the squads have been losing on Tuesday, right after they get the #1 ranking.  This week the UCONN Huskies took that L.  Not only did they get dominated by Pittsburgh (I know, I know they were calling too many fouls), but later in the week, Jim Calhoun gets off this gem.

“You’re not that stupid are you?”  Man, that is always great.

So that means Oklahoma slides to the top of the polls behind Blake Griffin dropping a double, double, right?

AHNT.

bgriffin1

Blake Griffin caught a phantom eye jammy or a elbow, or something during the game (I still haven’t seen the offending shot, it can’t be that eye scrape to the face, can it?) But Blake was hitting them with the cross-eyed confusion for the rest of the game.  But come on, Oklahoma is #2 in the nation, they have a Dukie coaching and Otis from the forums supporting them, they can still pull it out without their star player, right?

HeadbandFrohawk

When you put “headband, frohawk” guy into the game, you know you’re in trouble.  I mean choose one or the other.  That guy can’t win.

Soooooo, who’s next?  Carolina?  They’ve got to be a lock…hell they might have jumped Oklahoma if they both had won.  Nope, Greivis Vasquez was GIVING IT TO THEM at Maryland, hitting them with a triple double and an overtime win.

greivisvasquez

The top three spots go down so I guess that makes Pitt number one this week.  Again.  Last time they lasted about 14 hours.  I’d actually like to see a #1 last for more than one week.  And no Carolina fan, the fact that you were #1 through the beginning of the season when you were playing DeVry and the EA All-stars doesn’t count, okay?  Memphis and Louisville are creeping back into the conversation…Duke is trying to climb back into the mix after beating Wake and there are only two weeks left.

While I appreciate all the pre-March Madness, it is time for someone to Man Up and take control of this situation. I don’t want to hear about ‘parity’ in College basketball and how anyone can win this year, because neither is true.  There are about 6 squads who can actually win this thing and the rest of these squads are just window dressing.  And yes, I’ve got tix to the Final Four.  I’ll be there..now I’ve just got to hope the boys make it.  Not too hopeful, but I’ll be tricking myself into taking Duke way too far in my bracket in long about two and a half weeks.

I don’t care who it is…someone, anyone, Man Up and make a run at the Championship this year.

Supplemental Man Up to myself for that Man Up Monday from last week.  Ian caught me slippin.  My tech game really was jacked last week.

-Brock