The Thrill is Gone: Garbage Allison Stokke Pics

We haven’t heard much from Allison Stokke at the next level.

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Sure, she was hype in high school.  She was the next big thing.  But let’s face it, she failed to produce at the college level once she got up in there with some real bad arse chicks.

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And if she can’t compete in college, how is she going to take her game to the next level?

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That Markesa is right too.  Peep more HERE.

I mean, let’s keep it real it aint like it was:

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Nah, now it’s like this:

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I mean, really…who’s supposed to be the hot chick in this picture?  Is there one?  And if you had to pic one, would you go with the church lady in the bs set or would you go blondy J game with the plunging neck?

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Hmmm, I see Sarah Palin Jr. Jr. still likes douchebags.  But what’s wrong with the gear, that chunky upper arm, that scraggly hair?  Nah, she aint right.  Even when it’s right, it aint right.

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not like it was….

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Old chicks suck.  ;-)

- Lake

Facebook is Evil: It Will Get Your Dad Arrested

Us Versus Them is convinced that Facebook is evil for hundreds of reasons.  That doesn’t mean that we don’t get down on Facebook, we do, some of my favorite casual, random acquaintances are on Facebook.  You can join UvT on Facebook HERE.  Anyway, here is the latest reason Facebook is evil, because it will get your dad arrested.

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This shirtless, push-up enthusiast is Steve Russo.  He is thirty-six years old, and apparently entered a “Hottest Bartender” contest, so you know he’s a real winner.  So I’m sure you’re saying, 36?  Why would his 8 year old have a Facebook page?  Well his 8 year old has a Facebook page because his 8 year old is 17 years old and a student at Freedom High School…not that there is anything wrong with that.  So Steve here had a kid at 19, sounds like he manned up and is taking care of his son so props on that…but it also appears that he was waiting for this moment for his entire life, so he could use his son to pull hot high school chicks.  Nice, dad.

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These were his ladies of choice.  Members of the Freedom High school cheerleading squad.  So here’s how it goes down.

So sonny boy invites some inappropriately young girls over to the crib to head down to the basement where Steve is rocking the full on installed stripper pole.  Wait, this gets better, Steve breaks out the liquor, pumps up the music, starts talking about all the chicks he’s banged, and starts screaming “get on the pole!”.

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That is not a picture of a cheerleader, or a stripper, but there is a pole.  That is Allison Stokke, she’s a pole vaulter, and she’s pretty hot.  So that is kinda related…actually Allison is getting kinda diesel these days…do I like that?

Where does Facebook come in?

Because like everything these days, the entire drunken romp was uploaded to these girls Facebook pages.  For everyone to see.  And the cheerleading coach was alerted after she was shown the pictures.

This guy is pretty much the poster boy for why certain cats can’t have kids when they are too young.  If you are going to contribute to the delinquency of minors, you might not want to be snapping flicks of the event.

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Idiot.  So Facebook is evil because it got your pops locked up.

-Brock

Amanda Cicchini: The New Thickness

As promised Us Versus Them is here to keep you on the cutting edge of crazy bodies out there in college sports.  We brought you Allison Stokke, we brought you Megan Ohai, and now we may have the baddest one yet.  Amanda Cicchini.

The soccer field is delivering right now because Cicchini is playing out there in West Virginia.  I know it is a small pic, nothing special, right?  Let’s see what she’s talking about in those street clothes.

Cute Girl, good face, but it looks like she’s working too hard to poke the booty out on this one.  Those thighs are setting up for greatness though.

PlaDOW.  Good lawd.  Look, she’s definitely putting a little extra twist on it, but she definitely knows exactly what she’s working with.  That hook might be the most serious I’ve ever seen on one of Lake’s cousins.  I mean from this angle you might be tricked into thinking that the ass in big because the back cheek is supplementing the front cheek.  But here, the ass cheeks are both clearly defined.

Whaaaaaaa…and she’s a freak too?

I know I’m doing too much now, but I just can’t stop.  She’s trying to tuck that waist in extra tight to prop that tail out.  I’m not mad at her though.

Not the playboy bunny too.  I need some more of these right here.  That black dress is locked in tight.  There is too much shadow going on here, but look at where that hand is and how much black dress there in on the right hand side of that joint.  Man.  Miss Cicchini, I expect great things from you.  Don’t let me down.

-Brock

Allison Stokke Update: New Pics Still Bring the Thunder

Allison Stokke is a mainstay here at Us Versus Them.  For those of you who don’t know, she is a pole vaulter who is now on the Cal track team doing her thing.  The only problem is that she’s incredibly hard to catch up with.  Seriously.  She’s not listed on the team site for the Cal Bears.  No bio, they took down the team poster, no candids or action shots of her on the site.  We need to send out an intern to start watching Pac-10 track and field or we will never get any pics again.  But you know we take good care of you here at UvT.

Man, it really starts at the thighs here.  She can try to pull down those shawt shawts all she wants, it’s not going to help, you can still see that she’s working with something.

You can even bring it in close.  She’s still tight too.  Stomach great, shorts tight.  Can we work the profile?

Is that the first clean Stokke profile ever?  She’s got that Skrong booty.  You can tell it is more training than genetics…not much though.  I’d call it 60/40.

Angle 2 of the profile starts to make me question it.  The thighs are still thick, the tail piece clearly sets up, but it isn’t phenomenal.  Did Stokke lose a step?

My bad.  Forget I ever said anything.  Good Lawd.  That is the triple tuck right there.

But Wait!  A NEW CHALLENGER APPROACHES!

Who is this young, fresh challenger for the Stokke throne?  She’s an athlete, and trust me there’s a LOT more where this came from.  The assologist won’t let you down.  More tomorrow…

-Brock

Is Stokke Losing Her Thickness?

Is it just me or is Allison Stokke actually losing that thunder that made us all wonder last year?

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Yeah, if she keeps this up, her desire to be “just left alone,” even though the chick has an agent and publicist (allegedly) will be granted. Terrible.

Natalie Gublis better than Allison Stokke? Don’t bet on it!

NEW ALLISION STOKKE PICS HERE.  She’s at Cal and looking better than ever.

One of our valued readers, Stephen or “SG” as he called himself, made a claim today that Allison Stokke is on her way out in favor of the next big thing in hot female athletes, LPGAer Natalie Gulbis. It’s funny, because this debate kind of reminds me of how back in the day people were saying Stephon Marbury was going to be better than Allen Iverson, mostly because he balled in NYC, and even though you knew he wasn’t, you still listened to the argument anyway. Same deal, so let’s git it on!

Exhibit A – The Waist

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Ok, now I must admit, I’m not a huge blond fan, but I am a huge stomach fan and this babe’s midsection is talking to a nilla brotha! Whooo we! That’s one point for Nat, though I deduct a little for the FHM spread…let’s face it, all polished up and airbrushed out, them abs might be digital (just like R Kelly claims that piss might be digital)!!!

Exhibit B – The Thigh

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“One was, naaaah, the other was illmatic” – Jay Z to Nas in Takeover

Sorry, dude, I’m just not feeling this shot at all. This is a major negative for me. First, her wig piece looks like something out of the bad old days of the 80s, a real Olivia Newton John special. Second, she’s looking a lil manish with them extra cut up arms, that skeletor inspired rib cage and elongated, frozen food section, Weaver Chicken Strip thighs.. Your boy Lake wants to see the KFC thigh. Crisp, hot out from under the lamp and if need be, greazy!!! LOL. This is none of those things. It’s dry, long and lean and quite simply not juicy enough, with nary a trace of the Colonel’s famed 11 secret herbs and spices. Please note:

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And Again

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Oh yes. Advantage, Stokke.

Exhibit C – The Tail

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Again, I feel like this is the battle of the old school white woman versus the new school white woman. To me, this chick looks like Hulk Hogan’s wife piece. Just that basic blond, teased up hair, you know, like one of Hugh Hefner’s girlfriends. See me, I like my new day white woman. Your Jessica Biel, Kim Kardashian, hell, pre K-Fed Britney, Jessica Alba…I mean, the list goes on and on. I recognize that I’m different that way and my boy recently underscored this point when he told me, point blank, “see, I don’t need a girl with an ass, I don’t work with the ass. I’m a breast man“. And there’s the rub, literally.

Hey Stephen, I hear ya bro. But if you believe R. Kelly (and I do) that chicks are something like a Jeep, then if I don’t have something sittin on dubbs, namely, Kim Kardashian and her ilk, then I want it on 18′s (Jessica Biel). If it aint on 18′s and let’s face it, it can’t always be, then it damn sure CAN be sittin on some factory 16′s, all styled up and ready to go. And that’s what Allison Stokke is. We aint talking Serena tail, but she’s pretty damn hype.

Shall we take it to the photo one more gin?

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Even an admitted ass man and certified cat of the brotherly persuasion, like my boy Brock, will hit you with that Whitney Houston special on this one… “It’s not right, but it’s ok (enough).”

Stokke wins going away!!!!!!!!

PS- yes, I’m aware that I left out a fairly important aspect of the calculus here, the breast-ta-sis, but I just figure that’s a push. Ok, maybe not:

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Hmmm…I still take Stokke….

Stokke the flames: Smooth white woman Allison Stokke part 3

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We just figured we should continue to show a little Allison Stokke love for all the homies out there. She’s on her way to Cal Berkley, best of luck to her boyfriend, pictured later, trying to keep ole girl in house.

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Because whether he knows it or not, the second this babe pumping gas started making news, he lost the battle of the Silky smooth white woman.

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(there is a ZERO percent chance this dude can hold this babe down while she’s in college)

But let Lake, an old playa from the himilayahs give you some advice. When you’re in your dorm room at Cal State Fullerton and you call up to Allison’s room, you’re going to hear a male voice in the background. Don’t be alarmed, it’s just Jamal Boykin (or his equivalent), former Duke recruit and new Cal Basketball star, plotting to bang out your girlfriend.

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Now, your first reaction will be to yell at her, maybe hurl a racist blast or two at Stokke, but don’t do it.. And why? Because a better looking, better hitting and more looted cat with more cache and juice is bound to take your damn woman. Hell, if I were 2 years younger, I’d take her myself and I don’t even live in Cali. It’s going to happen, so just go with the flow, play the role of the cool boyfriend who trusts his lady and continue to get at that tail as long as you can. Because believe me, the harder you fight it, the more you’re just killing yourself. Just looking at these pics I can tell you have limited style, hardly any juice and zero game…

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So congrats for taking Allison this far, now move over for the real pimps, players and hustlers to be doing everything in their power (and believe me they’ll have plenty of tools) to knock off your lady and dare you to say something about it. Enjoy.

- Lake

Silky Smooth white woman alert II: Allison Stokke

NEW ALLISON STOKKE PICS.  She’s at Cal and Looking Great.

You all loved the original Allison Stokke post, so now it’s time for that Reeee, reeee, Reeeeemix.

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Everytime I see this chick, it’s like Swish, errrytime we see deez pics it’s like Swish!!! Make a smooth white dude like me, wanna see the Reeeee-MIX! Sorry, I just had to take that adaptation from R. Kelly’s part It’s me B*tches, Remix by Swizzz Beats.. If you are an R fan, it’s just so much what you want. And it really perfectly describes how I feel about these damn pictures of Allison Stokke.

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I don’t care if I’m late to the game, this babe is gonna get some airtime on this damn site!

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(Quietly, these friends in these pics look fairly decent as well. They’ve got something going on out west. I may need to investigate…developing)

-Lake

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