With the release of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter this weekend, we were asked to do a lot. Suspend disbelief, accept the fact that Hollywood will try anything, and think about the fact we might not know everything about the Presidents. So it got me thinking. Maybe there are some other Presidential side-jobs. Let’s take a look shall we?

Bill Clinton: Ho Slayer

George Bush: Logic Disagreementer

JFK: Model Fornicator

George Washington: Ninja

Franklin Roosevelt: Wheelchair Stuntman

John Adams : Second Cousin to Beer Inspirer

Barack Obama : Matrix Destroyer

Ronald Reagan : Fancy Cowboy

Andrew Johnson : Straight Gangsta

Herbert Hoover : Booty Mover

Now you know. Things will never be the same.

-Brock