Mrs. Lebron Wade: The Lebron Hate Refuses to Stop

When LeBron James went to Miami we knew Cleveland wasn’t going to be happy.  When “The Decision” became a parody of itself, a lot of people were turned off.  When LeBron got the GQ cover people thought it was going to be a good rehab article for LeBron, but he got killed instead.  Local radio in Miami is making fun of LeBron for hitting T.G.I.Fridays for dinner all the time when there are “real” restaurants in Miami.  When he upgrades his food game, I hope he doesn’t upgrade his…uhhhhh…game, game too.  But your boy Brock was in Miami last week and lets just say there are plenty of 5 star USDA Prime steaks down there.  I don’t know if the Jack Daniels Ribs are gonna get it anymore.

But it gets worse.  There is a new site called Mrs. LeBron Wade that is REALLY going in on LeBron.  They’ve just gone on ahead and called him Dwyane Wade’s bitch.  Now that sounds terrible, but the photoshop work is classic.  Peep this:

HAAAAAAAAAAA.  Really has LeBron laid up in the bed with that cat.  Somehow his haircut looks better in this photoshop than it did on The Decision.  There is more.  They’ve got LeBron shopping with his girl Rihanna.

That hat his killing me.  But LeBron looks like the dude from Real housewives of Atlanta on this one.  Then there is the high school style pic.

LeBron is gonna have to win games in a big way to make this go away.  They might need to be the most dominant team in the NBA and in NBA history for this to really work out.

So check out the website to peep the Mrs. Lebron Wade in all its glory.  Don’t miss the Jalapeno poppers recipe.  Man, they are really going all out.  Check the site here.

Shout to my boy MRod for hitting me with the tweet on this one.  Hell, go check him out too.

-Brock

Come On Bruh! Antoine Dodson…We’re gonna Find You!

This video came out a week ago and I was conflicted.  Now you know I love to find some great “Come on Bruh” Moments, but even I have my limits.  Come on Bruh is about Black men who are doing things that no Black man is ever supposed to do.  Dress up like Ken from Street Fighter.  Dying their hair blonde.  I hate when news interviewers find the most ignorant, wild looking, shit talking person to put on TV.  Don’t abandon me on this first one, there is a payoff, trust me on this one.  So check out the original interview.

So yeah, Antione is the star of that one, and he’s become an internet sensation.  I actually wish the person who broke in would have stayed there just so I could get a punch by punch breakdown of that fight.  Now I know Antoine is great at shit talking, but he’s not the most masculine brother in the world.

But then the internets went ahead and pulled me in.  You know that within a week the internet can make anything better and I’ll be damned if it didn’t work again this time.

Yeah, they T-Pained that joint, and if you didn’t stay all the way until the end, you missed out on that remix.  That song has been stuck in my head all day, welcome to the party.  Then when my man Evan takes it up top at the end, the video becomes legendary.

But then the man has to come and mess it up for everyone.

Now you know good and well they don’t generally do follow up interviews when someone has a break in at the projects.  But there is Antoine with his yellow blouse doing follow up interviews.  Then the newscaster lets us all know that they know good and well they are exploiting these people, but “censoring people is far worse”.

-Brock

Man Up Monday: Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis

Last week, the homey H8torade posted Glen Davis doing the Dougie and pretty much covered all the bases.  On Twitter I said there wasn’t much to add to his commentary on this video.

Damn, that is still turrible. Let’s not forget this:

So yeah, I do have something else to add to H8torade’s commentary.

Glen Davis…MAN UP!

This dude just can’t hold it together.

-Brock

One Dude Didn’t Think Kobe’s Pictures Were Gay Enough…

Now I thought Kobe’s pictures were pretty gay.  I’m not saying Kobe is gay, he is just gay friendly.  I wanted to support the lifestyle from a fashion standpoint when he went with the All White Everything.

By UvT standards, scarf with feathers and a super deep vneck sets a pretty high standard for a full on Rule #1 violation.  But you know who thinks Kobe coulda just taken it a little bit further?  This dude.

I know what you are thinking.  Brock, Lance Bass was already in a boy band…strike 1.  He thought he could go to outer space…strike 2.  He frosted his hair…strike 3.  Case closed, right.  Bu-bu-bu but wait is gets worse!

Lance tried to take it to a whole…’nother…level.

Yeah, that is a dude, and that is Lance Bass.  I guess we should have been happy Kobe didn’t go with the full face of makeup, Lance has upped the ante on whatdaphuckery in this one.  Does he want to be in the next Twilight movie?  Is he trying to channel Adam Lambert?

There were about 10 places the line could have been drawn here.  When they wanted to arch your eyebrows, then they broke out the eye shadow, the blush, definitely the lipstick.  I mean damn.  Wait until you see the gear though.

The crazy thing about that outfit?  The really crazy thing?  This cat is wearing half a Matrix coat, a silky blouse, your mommas beaded necklace, some camo shorts and some wing tips…and that outfit is still better than THIS.

Yup.  That is still hilarious.  Twice this week.

-Brock

Justin Bieber Gets A Very…Interesting Tattoo

I don’t know if you are aware of Justin Bieber.  He’s only 16 and I’m pretty sure he isn’t one of Us.  He is knows for being a trending topic on twitter every single day, driving 14 year old girls crazy, whooping Aziz Ansari’s ass, and signing in a really, really high voice.

He’s only 16, but he’s ready to become a man.  Time for his first tattoo.

That picture should be your first indication that something ain’t right.  When a dude gets their first tattoo, there are only a few reasonable places.  Upper Arm, Chest, followed by Back.  You can fill from there.  Justin up there is pulling his t-shirt up to his nipples like a woman.  There is nothing he should be doing in a tattoo parlor that causes him to do what he is doing.

Sure enough, Justin Bieber got the most ridiculous and pointless and bitchy tattoo in the history of man and boy.

Dammit, if you’re gonna go…you gotta go.  The kid got a one inch long, non-descript bird on his hip?  Is he getting a rainbow tramp stamp next?  A heart on the back of his neck?  A butterfly in his cleavage?  This kid is definitely one of Them after that one.

Turrible.

-Brock

Grace Jones Pose: You’re Doing it Wrong

Yesterday, I hooked Us with the updated Amber Rose version of the iconic Grace Jones photo from her Island Life album.  I think you will all agree that Amber Rose did a great job, but now I know that lots and lots of people have tried to bring to pose to life.  So let’s start with Grace Jones:

And the recent tribute from Amber Rose:

There have also been internet fans that wanted to get a piece of the action, like this.

You know what, I’ve got to respect the effort.  She got the plug right, the outfit isn’t bad, and she really leaned in to the post.  Tail game isn’t so bad either…my bad.  Ha.  Of course you know the big girls had to bring it:

First, I know you are thinking this is turrible, but I’ve got to give her some love on two things.  First, she really committed to getting that baby oil right.  I mean she really lathered it on up on that one.  Second, she had the sense to not break out the tube top and no draws.  You’ve got to know what you are working with and some big people try to take it too far.  I appreciate the body aware.

Then, just like every Beyonce song ever made, you know there has to be a version that is a Rule #1 violation.  For the ladies?

AHNT!

I know what you’re thinking…Brock, why would you do that to Us?  What did we do to deserve this?  Look, I found it on the internet and couldn’t go through the pain by myself.  You’ve all got to come with me.  That way, if I go crazy and try to gouge my own eyes out later this week, you all know what happened to me.  No body really locked that pose in like Grace though…although maybe she didn’t even get it right.

She was photographed piece by piece and dropped in?  Say it ain’t so!  That is some old school photoshop right there.  Really cutting the photos and taping them back together?  That’s hardcore.

-Brock

I know his name is “Katt” but this is ridiculous

Haaaaaaaaa  Lord Jesus..  I can tell I’ve been gone too long.  This shady and by shady, I mean..

Katt Williams gay

17 year-old kid called into 911 talking about how “Katt” Williams was holding him against his will.  Listen to this foolishness:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lMJILiEX1g

Is it just me or does this call get worse and worse with every “yes ma’am” and “yes sir”?  And that “we” cuts ever so deep…

Now look, Katt is a petite man, has done time on the “inside,” likes to rock lime green and extra sensitive shades of  purple, does jokes about people wanting to F him and has a damn woman’s perm…..

big perm

so you know he’s already on the watch list.

wtf-face

What watch list?  THAT watch list and I don’t have to spell it out.  Peep the other menz we’ve got on that list:

1. Tom Cruise
2.  Tyler Perry
2.  Eddie Murphy
4.  Bert (see 4)
5.  Ernie (see 3)
5.  Dennis Rodman
6.  Kanye West and his man purse
7.  Michael from Goodtimes
8.  Magic Johnson
9.  Puff (Hey, hate to say it, but….)
10.  TO
11.  Cam’ron

Just to name a few….  Look man, why would a man, ANY man, have a 17 year old “boy” around him if he wasn’t up to some sh*t?  It aint right.  And while Katt was sending up smoke signals all along, trying to mask all his bitchassness with talk of “pimps,” we at UvT have long been ready to say, “hey Katt”:

You're-gay

I know, I know, maybe he’s not gay… Maybe that extra sensitive dude on the line was his “play cousin” or a guy he was “helping over the fence errr out of a jam”… I know.  Look, the only dudes I could find to vouch for Katt’s character were these dudes:

gay like shit

The only person in menz attire I could rustle up to speak on his behalf was him downstairs:

Dwight_eubanks

The only bro I could convince to defend his manhood was this guy:

ne-yo

Yep, Katt is about as un-Gay as Larry Craig, Anderson Cooper and Kirk Franklin‘s vaseline glistened lips all rolled up into one…. Not that there’s anything wrong with that..

ruleno1

- Lake

Damn Homey! OutRage on HBO

So I was minding my own business this weekend. Just minding my business, feeling good when this documentary called “Outrage” came on HBO.

outrage_poster_506x316

What is Outrage you asked?  Outrage is the documentary about the outing of gay politicians and media members that promote anti-gay messages.

Toe Tapping Republicans Ted Haggard And Larry Craig

So, I assumed it was all the same stuff I had seen before.  Blah, blah, blah, J. Edgar Hoover, Sponge Bob, Ted Haggard and Bert & Ernie, right?  But they hit me with the mufuckin remix when they said Ed Koch was gay!

ed_koch_skyline

Yikes.. who knew… Not that there’s anything wrong with it.  But this cat was up on some gay sh*t right in the middle of the AIDS epidemic, had a gay lover that died of AIDS and essentially did nothing for fear he might get exposed.

talkinboutlake

“But Lake, why you bringing up old sh*t?”

Yep, I was asking myself the same thing.  That is, UNTIL, I heard that the CURRENT Governor of Florida, Charlie Crist, is gay like sh*t too!

crist is gay

Daaaayum… They’re saying this cat just got married so he could perpetrate and act like he wasn’t swinging from the ladies tees.

crist-gay

And then they got into some of UvT’s favorite “I’m not gay” gay as shat types:

First you’ve got the hilarious Larry Craig:

larry-craig_s-mugshot-in-outrage-photo-courtesy-of-magnolia-pictures

Mark Foley:

foley_aol

And my favorite, the very first “Gay American,” the oh so off key Jim McGreevy:

jim-mcgreevey-WI-123108-fb-31671563

Jeez, these fools make South Carolina Gov. Sanford look like mother Theresa.

SC Governor Where?

Anyway, check it out.  Oh and the really crazy outing they did was of this Fox News fool Shepard Smith.

24_61_320_shep_smith_2007

This fool reports on gays like they’re ruining the fabric of or nation, meanwhile he’s out there in the public streets trying to get his “top or bottom” on.

mike-hart-crazy-look

And in case you didn’t think he had wildness on his mind, peep what he said about gay icon, Jennifer Lopez:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzV8wrnLfS4

Haaa, funny, when I see JLo, I see pure ass.  When this dude sees her, he’s ready for a blowj@b from the “people on her block”…help.  And believe me, dude aint talking about brains from Jennifer either.  Dude is a certified “scriblet” as some call ahem “them”….  Come out the closet anytime now guys…

out_50 2

SMH.

- Lake

————————–UPDATE————————–

Now I channel surf with the best of em, but Lake…what made you get to this show and, ahem, PAUSE, for long enough to see what the show is about?  I might be flipping through and see “The Other Boelyn Girl” on HBO too, but that sure as hell doesn’t mean I’m stopping to watch.

SMH

-Brock