Religion is always a tricky thing. It’s a surefire way to start a fight. I believe in God, but beyond that I think a lot of the rules and details are users choice. God, Allah, Jehovah, Ganesh? Your call. Go to church once a week, once a year, once a day, once a decade? That’s on you. If you don’t want to eat pork and the only song on your iPod is “My God is an Awesome God?” I’ve got no problem with that.
But you know I’m not here to agree with everything so here’s my thing.
The label “Christian” has become a loaded designation. Traditionally, Christian means you believe in God and Christ. It’s a pretty broad definition. There are LOTS of people who fall in that category. It’s actually pretty inclusive, all things considered. But, when something is LABELED Christian, you know you are about to get a tall order of God with a heaping helping of Jesus. It comes with a tall glass of judgment.
If you go on a Christian cruise, if you think you’re just going to be among people who believe in God, you’re wrong. You best believe there will be hand holding and prayer before every meal, a bible in every room, and I guaran-damn-tee there will be a Gospel band on that boat. Depending on your particular flavor of Christianity they may just have a single guitar player or a whole damn band and a 50 man choir.
Or what about the dating sites?
Now this service might just be about making sure two people are planning on getting married in the same church. Trust me…you’re not getting through that date without a good, long talk about Jesus. J-Date, I feel like you’re checking the box, Christian Mingle is different. I’m telling you, they’ve just added all kinds of extra meaning to Christian. I’ve got a pic from some older people who got their Christian Mingle on, they ended up just reading the bible all night.
Look at em. They both think this date is some bullshit. Ol girl thought she was gonna be speaking in tongues tonight. Dude thought he was gonna be getting it, now he’s reading Leviticus. The only reason he tried Christian Mingle is because his boy said he hooked up with a bad chick through the site. It was so good he had to put a little extra in the collection plate that week. We got the video.
So watch out, when you decide to hit up an official Christian event, make sure you brush up on your scripture. You’re gonna need it.