The Olympics are finally over and it will be another four years before we get anymore Olympic goodness. (Because, come on, we all know the Winter Olympics don’t count.
I had to get one more Olympic post in before I was done though. I should have known London was going to be freaky when the early rumors were the logo was Lisa Simpson getting it in.
Apparently, the Olympics are all about sex. It all started 8 years ago in Athens where they supplied the Olympic village with 80,000 condoms, there are about 10,000 athletes admitted to participate in the Olympic Games. That was 8 condoms per athlete over a two week period. Not a bad two weeks.
They ran out.
So this year they brought in 150,000 condoms. That’s 15 per person. In the Olympic Village. I know these athletes are rock stars for two weeks, but that is a LOT of sex. That’s every day for two weeks with a double session on the day of your choice. Let’s assume that some Olympians hook up with other Olympians. That means they get it in 30 times. Then there are people we can just rule out. Half the gymnasts are under 18, that’s gotta be illegal in most countries. Lolo Jones isn’t using her 15 condoms, so those go back in the pool, but we have to offset that with the fact that members of the US Olympic Basketball team may have actually used MORE than their personal allocation. I have to imagine Russell Westbrook put in a call or two to the Brazilian Women’s Volleyball team.
The Brazilians are fantastic champions. I can’t wait to see them defend the crown in 2016.
It just doesn’t make that much sense. There can’t be that much sex in the Olympic Village. There just can’t be. Then I realized. I broke the code. I figured it all out. I found the one sport responsible for using all the Olympic condoms.
Tell me there is anything other than busting a nut that can make a man make a face like that? They are in those tiny little suits. I think they are strapping up between every single dive so they don’t cause any international incidents. You figure three rounds of dives, 6 dives a round, 10-12 actual diving events…I dude could run through 15-20 condoms in a single afternoon at that rate.
I’m just hoping the same isn’t true for Olympic Wrestling.
I’m gonna let someone else do the investigation on that one though.