The Booty Conga: Because It’s Impossible For Me NOT To Share This

It just would be Us Versus Them if I didn’t post this.

This chick in the three slot is clearly his favorite. They also really needed a reveal at the end so we could meet these ladies. I’m also pretty sure this is a very specific pornographic fantasy and some dude has watched this dozens of times already.

-Brock

12 Days of UvT Christmas: Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer

You know that song “Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer“? I think I found her.

-Brock

If Us Versus Them Directed the Gangnam Style Video

I’m pretty much done with the Gangnam Style song at this point. I can’t lie, the video still gets me on occasion, but until PSY releases a follow up that does a billion hits on YouTube, I’m pretty sure I’ve had enough. Until I saw this version. You know what, I’m getting ahead of myself, these are the Panicats:

I  don’t speak Brazilian, but if my assumption is correct, “Panicats” has something to do with hitting the squat rack at the gym and a lack of clothing. So much meaning in one little word. Portuguese is such a complex language. So I don’t know what these ladies do for a day job, but some genius got them to remake the Gangnam Style video shot for shot. Well…better than shot for shot, you’ll see.

How tired do people have to be of Gangnam Style for that version to have only 27,000 hits? Did you see what I saw? Was anyone else anxiously waiting for the elevator scene? Which, by the way, did NOT disappoint.

Yup, that just got the 20 or so people who didn’t want to click the video right now based solely on my recommendation to click the video. Or on the other hand, just make the 30% of you who are reading this at work decide NOT to click it…until you get home later. Hell of a tribute from the ladies of Panico.

Shout out to the homey H8torade for finding this one. Go ahead and hit him up to say thanks.

-Brock

Which Mya is the Real Mya? You Be the Judge

Now I haven’t talked about Mya much in a long time, but I came across two pictures that demand attention. I found two pictures or her and one of them has to be fake. I’m just not sure which one.

Here’s the first pic.

Mya lookin good in that one. I’m calling bullshit on this one. I’m pretty sure there is no there in the natural world where shadows go in three different directions. I will say that is late 90′s throwback Mya though. Then there is another picture, same outfit, same wall, same shoes. But something is different. I can’t quite place it. Maybe you can help.

Call me crazy, I think this one might be photoshopped too. If you’re going to blow up the thighs, can we round out the calves too? I like ass as much as the next man, but you need to build up the proper support system. You know I’m going to need some breakdowns in the comments to see which one you vote for.

While that is going on, I had to do some supplemental research to see what’s going on.

Why is anyone even messing with Mya? She looks like she’s doing just fine without the digital manipulation. Bonus for the people who voted for pic #2, she seems to be closer to the thick pic than the slim one. Can we all agree to shut down the photoshop? It’s one thing to know they are always cutting things down, but when we are getting inflation and deflation it might break the tail-arse continuum. We can’t have that.

-Brock

I Don’t Know How This Happened…But I’m Not Gonna Fix It

So I was rolling through my iPod, feeling like I wanted to rock some classics and this happened.

I’m pretty sure that isn’t the original artwork for the Usher, My Way album, but five brothers with afros holding Christmas presents is pretty great. Those were the good ol days, huh?

-Brock

Five Guys is delicious. Dayum, Dayum Dayum.

I don’t know how many of you have had the pleasure of eating a Five Guys Burger, but the short version is that their burgers are delicious and so are their fries. Spectacular.

All I can do is talk about it. I’m not going to sit in my car with a sack full of food and review it like THIS DUDE. So I’ll never get the opportunity to be autotuned and go viral on the internet. So you don’t need to take my word for it, just check this.

Now THAT dude really appreciates a burger. Looks like he might hit Five Guys a good 2-3 times a week though.

-Brock

With Respects to Mike Tyson, THIS is now the Greatest Video I’ve Ever Seen

Last week, I wrote an entire post about the greatest YouTube video I had ever seen. The reign of Mike Tyson will only last one week because some Korean rapper named PSY has already outdone it.

WARNING: There is absolutely not a single word in this song you will understand unless you are one of my Korean fans. You two know who you are. SURPRISE BONUS: Music truly knows no language. You will know exactly what is going on here. Enjoy. Don’t play yourself and turn it off early either, he rocks from start to end.

Let’s break it down in UvT vision, shall we?

0:10 Yeah, I thought he was saying “Open Condom style” too.

0:20 I thought the little kid dancing was the greatest thing ever until PSY broke out that perfectly executed Triple H style water spray in the background.

0:35 That dance would be completely ridiculous if he didn’t have so much confidence. No I don’t know why trash is flying around either.

0:39 Why do I get the feeling he didn’t tell those chicks it was going to snow?

0:55 That girl in the converse shoes is kinda thick. My bad.

0:58 If a dude in the sauna ever starts to pop and lock, feel free to get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.

1:09 Explosion! Unnecessary. But also not fake there is legitimately stuff burning in the background back there.

1:11 Wasn’t that dance in the Will Smith Wild Wild West video? (cued up for your viewing pleasure. Sisqo was on that track? Wow)

1:26 That dance has never appeared anywhere ever. Yet it is still the greatest dance I’ve ever seen. I don’t know why were are horses in the shot, but they make it feel classy.

1:37 Gotta appreciate an ass shot of a chick with no ass. Complete with rewind like she’s a member of the Official Twerk Team.

1:42 Awwwww shit, dance battle! Nice kicks.

1:55 How long to you have to be pumping in an elevator before the door opens mere inches above a dudes head to ensure you are pumping when the doors open? Also…socks and sandals…aaaaand that green shirt might be a dress. I’ll assume that’s Korean humor.

2:12 Even NFL Rookies on draft day think that shirt has too many buttons.

2:23 What you gonna do about that Hammer?

2:48 Sorry I actually got up and did that little shuffle dance. By myself. At the crib.

3:20 Bollywood style!

3:44 Awwww, you thought it was over? IT AIN’T OVER!

3:58 That final shuffle kills the game.

I’m worn out after that one. Downloading Gangnam Style for the UvT windows up playlist immediately.

-Brock

Introducing Snoop Lion The Reggae King…I Just Hope Snoop’s Lyin’

Snoop Dogg, rap legend. One of the greatest rappers of all time. He’s been consistant since Deep Cover. I gave him a pass when he pressed his hair out. I’m willing to pretend his whole “No Limit” era didn’t exist. But Snoop has finally pushed me too far.

Snoop Dogg has officially changed his name to Snoop Lion. He’ s officially given up rap for reggae music.

That’s right, so crazy only a UvT throwback pic properly captures my feelings of disgust for this announcement. You want to know when you’ve smoked too much weed? When you actually smoke so much you become a reggae artist. It’s only happened this once, so maybe Snoop has smoked more weed than anyone else in the world.Doesn’t Snoop know that no one actually buys reggae music. Doesn’t he know the only people who like reggae music are people who smoke weed and college students who want to seem intellectual in different because they listen music with semi-political lyrics…while they smoke weed?

Even more offensive, his first single.

 Of course it’s called “La la la”. Snoop has made his entire life a tribute to weed. I know reggae has a very particular sounds, but am I the only one who finds it offensive that you have to sing reggae with a Jamaican accent?
Snoop has retired from rap…even though he just dropped his last rap video just three weeks ago? I guess there wasn’t a very long deliberation about ending his 20 year rap career. Let me just make this clear, he dropped a song THREE WEEKS ago about smoking weed and inhaling through his nose.

Oh shit. Snoop is on some old DaVinci Code stuff. He left us everything we needed to see this change coming. Why didn’t we all see it? He was wearing the same shitty knit cap everyone who has ever vacationed in Jamaica bought at the airport in the video. I guess we’re lucky he’s not rocking the version with the yarn dreadlocks. I guess that would have been too obvious.

Snoop, please let this little trend last…ohhhhh…let’s say one song. I think that would be enough.

Thanks,

-Brock