Election day is tomorrow and if you believe the polls (I don’t) things could not be tighter. The system is designed to be tight. Here is a map from Karl Rove, his job is literally to get Mitt Romney the win at any costs. Even with everything tilting his direction and the most Republican optimistic map possible.
The crazy thing is out of 50 states, 38 of them NEVER move. Those 55 electoral votes in Cali? Never moving. Same with everything from Texas to South Carolina. Not moving. That solid block of blue in the Northeast, those stay blue. Those states between Washington and Minnesota that all seem like they are nothing but plains only because I’ve never set foot in any of them? Solid red. So you can only win by so much. There is almost no such thing as a blowout.
Which brings me to my point. The political race that ends tomorrow started about two years ago. Obama has been the candidate on the Democratic side since 2008…that wasn’t going to change. Mitt Romney has basically been running for President since 2006. That’s 6 years of Romney. If you want to know who he is, you’ve had a pretty good chance to figure it out. What, you were holding out for Michelle Bachman and Herman Caine to make a comeback?
Come on. If you thought either of them were going to still be around at this point, your inability to make a decision about the President is probably the least of your problems.
Who are the Undecided? Have you just not been paying attention? Are you even planning on voting anyway? Exactly what is the tie breaker for you? Will you stand in the voting booth staring at your choices, hand hovering above the scan form like the end of some terrible movie? You’re the assholes who sit at a big table in a restaurant and still don’t know what you want to eat when the waitress comes aren’t you?
You’ve only got 24 hours left so let’s make it simple. You clearly need an unconventional method. Let’s do it by look alone.
If you feel like you would like to slide into that middle seat next to the dude with the red tie, vote Republican.
If you would feel more comfortable grabbing an empty seat in this crowd, vote Democrat.
I promise I will not make you sit next to the redhead. She looks happy though.
So Undecided, Man Up and make up your mind. I don’t actually believe you are undecided. The last debate was two weeks ago, there has been NO new information since then. Nothing is going to happen in the next day. Everyone get out and vote tomorrow though. The worst number of this whole election is that only 73% of people are registered to vote and only 64% of Americans voted. Most of the debate is about what to do with/for/about the people who are NOT voting. Imagine what could happen if those people used their vote too.
This is my first guaranteed Man Up ever. It is impossible to be undecided after tomorrow. 100% effective. You’re welcome.