J Loft: Worst Rapper Alive?

Good looking our Bill Parcels because you just unearthed the most bullsh*t rapper since Tone Loc.  This cat J Loft is a f*cking clown.  But what’s great about it is that he’s got all the appearances of a legit flow.  He’s got the women rocking bikinis outside a random apartment building.  He’s got the pool party with hoes shaking it.  He’s even got the private jets.  Hell, he’s got the ice, the shades, the “swag” (ahnt)… He’s got all that.  Oh, there’s just one thing missing.  TALENT.  Bullsh*t f&cker..Seriously, peep this foolishness:

AHHHHHHHHHHHNTTT haaa  Hilarious.  This is a situation when you really need that Simon Cowell to let you know that you really aren’t cut out for this.

simon-cowell

Haa, just terrible dude.  Awful.  Honestly, that’s just a bullsh*t version of Deion Sanders classic “Must be the Money”… In fact, let’s role that joint.

Ha.. hey, I love Deion.. Hilarious.  Anyway, this cat J Loft makes that Dirty Money seem legit.  I said it.

– Lake

Steph Marbury: Somebody get this dude a publicist

Somebody turn off Marbuy’s youtube, ustream, myspace and fb accounts!  Man, I hate to watch a cat just go crazy right in front of my eyes, but Stephon Marbury is JUST NOW catching up to Jay Z for that “don’t confuse me with Marbury out this b*tch, run up on me at the light, you could lose your life.“  Peep it:

What a weird cat.  I will say this though, that watch he’s got on his wrist is HUGE… that joint is like a mini aircraft carrier.  Look, the one thing Marbury does have is lots of dough.  Dude was the second highest paid cat in the league last year, so he’s got that over Jay Z.  I mean, Jay is paid, but Steph has been consistently paid for a long ass time.  Steph got dough.  He’s known as a supreme jerkoff in the skreets of BK.  Everybody hates him I’m told, so of course Jay Z’s gotten at him a few times.  Not sure why Steph cares, I didn’t trip when Jay told “bloggers” they needed a “reminder”….here it is:

Quietly, I hear him on this.  This cat has put in WORK for a clean decade, a fact that apparently not enough cats understand (according to him).  Sure, dude is a walking contradiction.  Sure he peddles a destructive, counterproductive and unattainable culture/lifestyle, but he’s smart enough to know that.  He doesn’t need to hear that from me.  He certainly doesn’t need to hear Bossip call him a camel everyday.

camel-j-z-web

And I can’t say I wouldn’t have done the same.  Gotta get that loot, right?  Jay Z seems to have a bit of an attribution problem though. On my count, on the Blueprint 3, he took credit for:

1.  Obama getting elected   – come on player.

obama-smoking

You were about as responsible as I was… From a political perspective, people who listen to you fall in two categories, A. Cats that enjoy your music from an escapist, guilty pleasure perspective (ie. peep that would NEVER be moved by anything you have to say) and B. Ignant cats that don’t, can’t and/or likely never will vote…. next

2.  Cats rocking Yankees hats (AHHNT) – come on dog.  the house Ruth built would have been just fine without a polished up cat from the pro-jects…but thanks anyway.  Besides, I prefer a Predro Martinez throwbacks..

pedro-martinez

3.  Poppin’ the Crissy

diddy-champagne

What’s funny about that is I seem to remember cats talking about the “cris-staaaaal” long about 93ish (2Pac, Wu, Big, Puff), well before Mr. Z was done with his felonious stunts in Marcy<—–ahnt

How did I get off topic?  Oh well, I guess I’m back to hatin.. actually, this aint hate.  This is all true.  Jay Z is a great rapper, phenomenal business man and a cool cat that has really promoted culture.  But dude clearly has an inflated sense of his own worth.  I’ll let Mr. Marbury’s god awful song make the point his way.

Somebody call Jesus… tell him to come back and lay hands on this fool…something.

– Lake

Hate to Admit it, but Ryan Leslie is Legit

It’s kind of hard for me to admit this dude is a hype cat in the music biz.  First off at his core dude is cornball city.  I mean, he really should have ended up dreaming about functions and code over at MIT with all the rest of the nerds rather than taking up residence at the Real HU.

And back in the day, he was that cat who really shouldn’t have been rapping.

Or singing… a bit pitchy….  But to his credit, homey stuck with it and now his beats just bump like fire. Peep this:

I remember seeing him “make this beat” back in the day and while it was cool, I just felt like the whole canned production was basically a 7 on the tweezomter. 

seven-on-the-tweezometer

What’s the tweezometer? It’s the internal meter in my head that has allows me to judge how much AHNT any one thing is.  So, for instance, Sarah Palin is a perfect 10 on the tweezometer.

perfect-10-on-tweezometer

She’s actually off the charts, but I can’t really measure much beyond that.  So when I was confronted by Ryan’s singing/star quality it generally registered as a 7 out of 10 jules of Ahntweement.

ryan-leslie

However, I was working out in the gym the other day and Addiction came on and I just could not deny it any longer.  The sh*t was HOT.  I mean, FIRE….  So my word is Respek.  Dude is actually fully legit.  Here is the song in full.

Though I really do hope my man doesn’t rock them extra medium pants and shirts in his leisure time.  Nice work homey.  I’ll buy your next album out of respek alone.

– Lake

Classic Material: The Pharcyde, Passin’ Me By

Hey, not sure what these cats are doing today, but back in the day this was real cutting edge sh*t.  Funny how music comes full circle because this joint sounds a lot likt some of that silly skinny jeans music they’ve got coming out of Chi and Cali..  I never liked conscious rap, but dope it dope.

Great.

– Lake

Hot Fire: “We Run This Town” – Jay Z, Feat Rihanna & Kanye West

Let me tell you, my boy EminEd put me onto this joint on Friday and I almost posted it immediately.  I’m not sure what Mr. Carter has in store for his next album, but if Death of the Autotune and this joint are any indication it’s going to be a monster.  I put this joker on my iPod as my get hype song in my workout playlist this weekend and it worked like a charm.  Jay’s verses are hot, Rihanna murders that hook and Kanye does his thing per usual.  Peep it:

Yoo, put that joint in the ride and just try not to speed.  And yes, while I’m no Jay Z dack rider, I do love Jay Z’s “Whassup?” ad lib.  haaa that shit is perfect and the beat is banging. Brooklyn stand up... ahnt.

– Lake

“Sensitive Thugs Yall All Need Hugs,” Part 2

This is an oldie but goodie.  Super thug “The Game” catching that extreme ice out from his lady on Change of Heart.

game6

haaa  classic.

Seriously, this cat was out here talking about, “We watched the sunrise together.”  WTF?  Man Up Game..  I thought you always went hard.

50game

I know, I know…

– Lake

Drake Video: You The Best

Drake needs to figure out his hip hop personality.  I’m not so sure about this video.

I guess he thinks he’s funny.  I’ll tell you what I am sure of though.  Those girls are really, really smart.

-Brock

Charles Hamilton and other Face Smashities

This one is a bit old, but still great.  Peep the solid punchities at the  mark 2:20 mark.  Ha  It’s so good, thing is, once you see the hate and venom, you’ll want to watch all the build up too.

Haaaa  I guess homey shouldn’t have hit and told.  The crazy thing is she was LOVING this cat in the previous video which was like five minutes earlier. Some chicks aint having it.  Seriously, you F with the wrong girl’s public pride and it’s literally over.  And the way she immediately landed that joint, you can tell that was juts part 1 of her payback plan.  She’s f*cking nuts.  The type who literally doesn’t mind if a cat hits her back, in fact, she wants you to take it there!

bitch-is-crazy

LOl.  Awful.  And my boys tell me this Charles Hamilton cat is really nice on the mic and the production.   Anyway, all that hot production didn’t compare to this:

charles_hamilton_punched_in_the_face-300

Haaa, that’ll learn him.  Moving on are a few more face smackers to get your day going.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiwXb26mloQ

How can she slap?! haaaa  And here’s the last one.  Oldie but goodie:

Don’t F with trailer chix.  Ah, one more…

– Lake