Those of you who follow me on Twitter already know I’m an undercover sneaker head.Â I’m not a crazy color cat who will cop these:
Although I’m sure rainbow colored, green gel bottomed, patent leathered out toe Nike Dunks are hot somewhere, they aren’t hot on the feet of your boy Brock.Â But I do own a pair or 3 of Nike Dunks.Â I’ve copped some high end Pumas, I keeps a rotation of Adidas Gazelles, Campus, and the occasional Y-3.Â Designer Converse…yup.Â But those who know me, know I’m a Nike loyalist all the way through.Â In college my favorite mode of transportation was a pair ofÂ AirMax 95′s (I’ve recently updated with the 24/7).Â Jordans were always in the rotation (although they had a few rough design years in there), The Gary Paytons with the zipper were a beast, the original Jason Kidd’s stayed in the rotation for a long time, everyone had a pair of Rodman’s with the backwards check, The Pippen II was well preserved and in the rotation until about 2003, so I’ve stacked these kicks like bricks at the crib.Â I’ve tried to break the habit, but I will still cop a pair when I see something hot.Â Hey, there are worse vices than that right?Â It’s not like I’m addicted to women’s butts and drinking straight vodka…oh…wait.Â I gotta get my life right.Â Later.
Anyway, Nike has gone all Sound of Music on me and put together an ad that has me singing “These are a Few of My Favorite Things”.
Big and round like the letter C indeed.Â I’ve never seen Nike go all athlete and sexy at the same time though.Â Usually the athlete is sexy part, but the cut off beater, the hand wraps and the killer tail game is new.Â I want to go ahead and mark this as a turning point of the evolution of American Ass Culture.Â Let’s remember that 15 years ago, the ass pictured here would be the opposite of the one depicted.Â That ass would mean that you needed a lot more work.Â The desired tail and the top selling exercise video was this one.
“Sculpting and Toning” is code for “Flat and hard”.Â But thank God (I’m sure Mr. Jezus will be accepting this thanks on behalf of his Dad in the comments) for evolution.
Side note for those of us deep in the Butt and Nike game.Â Remember that they tried this in 2008.
Yeah, I’m in way too deep, but I’m not mad at em.Â Both are spectacular.