UvT News: WTF is Going On?

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Team Us:

So here’s the deal. I probably should have written this a long time ago, but whoever is coming to read this, anyone who is still coming to check to see if I’ve written anything, is a REAL fan of Us Versus Them. So you deserve an explanation before it goes away. The first post on this blog went up in April of 2007 over 6 years ago. It started with me and my boy Lake slicing and dicing the world as we saw fit. It was fun as hell, we really built something. Man Up Monday, reviews of Sports, Politics, Reality Shows, Movies, TV, and of course the ladies.

Some of the best things I’ve ever written are still in the archives of this blog. I saw everything that happened in the world as something I could write about here on Us Versus Them. I was always waiting for someone to mess up so I had my Man Up Monday. Every great knockout was going to appear on the site. March Madnass might be one of the greatest things I ever invented.

So if things were so good, then what the hell happened? So for those who have been paying attention. I moved to LA two years ago. I moved because I didn’t want this to be a hobby anymore. I wanted to do this as my job for the rest of my life. So I left my job and started writing television scripts. I’ve been cranking them out for two years. I’ve been writing spec episodes of existing shows, I’ve been coming up with new shows, I’ve been creating material for YouTube and pitching for late night and sketch tv shows. I’m close to making it.

I’m so fucking close it hurts.

And that’s the problem. That’s the what’s going on. People work hard and for a long time to get to this point. Some people never make it to the big leagues and being this close I have to focus on getting to the top of this hill. I can’t mess around and accidentally screw this up. Not because I don’t love this blog. Not because I don’t want to keep cranking this out forever. Not because I don’t appreciate all the people who have ever clicked on this blog and laughed and especially the people who are still showing up to see if I somehow actually found the time to put up something new. But because I’ve come this far and I have to close it out.

Nothing has changed. Anthony Weiner was sending sexy texts to Sydney Leathers, a woman who clearly got her name from a Wu-Tang name generator. He thought it was a good idea to call himself Carlos Danger. Anthony Weiner said he couldn’t tell when someone might take his texts the wrong way but was sending texts that said “wow a jewish girl who sucks cock! this thing is ready to do damage.” According to my count that one line is sexual harassment, implies sexual assault, offends both Jewish girls who suck cock and exposes those who are apparently part of a stereotype where they don’t, people named Carlos, and his wife. The chick who he was sending texts to, IMMEDIATELY flipped on Weiner and banged out a sex tape. It was a set up the whole time. You deserve the long version of that post, complete with pictures. I just don’t have time to do it.

The other thing? I don’t even know if the version of the internet that UvT was made for still exists. With Twitter and all those buzzfeed lists, this site feels like the kind of site that doesn’t exist anymore. I didn’t want to write his “final” message because it would mean none of you would stick around and be here if I ever wanted to come back. If I ever got the time back. I was trying to make sure I would be able to see  Jesus, Ian, Rosy F, G the Intern, Slick Jefferson and Triple B had to say about it. But I can’t fake it anymore, I’d rather take the blog out back and shoot it then just starve and strangle it to death. Of course, I my have already fucked up and done that anyway.

Here’s the good news. Hopefully you will see a show on TV very soon that sounds a lot like Us Versus Them (other than Guy Code, dammit).

Since I’m covering everything. I might as well cover it all. If there was a reason this post took so long to write, this is it. Brock Hardon is a character. I had to make him someone else because I had a job where I probably could have been fired for half the stuff I was saying. Because I needed the space to figure out how to do this. I needed a space to say whatever I wanted. So I created Brock. I always wondered what you would think. If you would feel betrayed. If you would get pissed or feel like everything was fake. Hopefully you don’t. If you do, fuck it. Just remember that you came back because you liked what you were reading. Realize it was always me in there, and all of it (most of it?) was entertaining. Long time readers know things changed. Brock changed because I changed. I didn’t want to be mean just because I was anonymous. I didn’t want to do anything that didn’t have value. I wanted to really work to make everything on here good because I wanted to actually get better at writing. Better at writing a joke. Better at seeing the world and having something to say about it. I think I got pretty good at it. So now I need to concentrate on things I wasn’t that good at. So you’re never going to see anything written by Brock Hardon. It will be written by Robb Chavis. Hopefully soon. I want to give you something Team Us can be proud of.

I want to bring this site back if I can. I’m not going to kill it, sell it, or get rid of the domain. Maybe when I’m better at the new thing I’m trying to do I’ll actually have time to come back here and write something. Until then, follow me on Twitter at @uvtblog and maybe I’ll be kicking stuff out there every once in a while and one day I’ll be pointing you toward something you can check out on your TV instead of your computer. You can follow me at @robbchavis on Twitter too. Why not?

So that’s it. That’s the deal. I love what I made here at Us Versus Them. I hope you did too. One last sign off for old times sake.

-Brock  -Robb

Comments

  1. nicely done, Robb.

    I felt the same way walking away from h8torade.com but in the long run you have to do what’s best for you. Best of luck to you and maybe one of these days we can get together and grab a cold one in L.A. since I’m up there quite a bit for work.

    h8torade aka Vince

  2. Mr. Jezus says:

    Damn homie. That’s how you ending it? Last post is all about you and how you bout to blow up huh? Coo…

    Selfish mufukka

    Nah, preciate the laughs over the years man. Excellent work pimpin

  3. About time… I personally would have liked to see this site go out on top but lately UVT has been a shell of its self and went from the first thing I checked every day.. to me checking it once every 3 weeks. I have never experienced more literal LMAO’s anywhere on the internets. The way yall could throw up the exact perfect picture for the exact perfect situation along with expert writing will always be remembered by me. The same way nobody REALLY remembers Jordan with the Wizards, I choose to only remember period in time when I checked

    UVT
    weather
    Sports
    News
    Music blogs
    Porn

    In that mothafuckin order!! Stay up!! and thanks!!

    *DROPS MIC*
    *Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel*

  4. Respect.
    You outlasted all of us (literally the entire code2 roster) and kept up with great content. Best of luck to you moving forward.

  5. Mike Lawry says:

    Nice job Bro. Great ride from beginning to end. Amazing that you were able to perfectly transfer that comedic genius in you in real life to this blog. Well done. Guess you had to give them your real name so cats can keep up with you in real life. The problem is, now that fruitcake Mr Jezus is going to be trolling the internets for real pictures of you to stare at. Some janitor’s locker in some middle school in the swamps of Homer, Lousiana is about to be filled with every picture of you that’s out there surrounded by pictures of the word “Daddy” in different fonts, sizes and colors, cut out from 100 newspapers and magazines.. You know that muthafucka is over there crying right now, peeling the lifesized fathead blowup of that fake picture of Brock you put on Facebook, off his bedroom wall. “It was all….*sob*….*sob*…a LIEEE!!!! DADDY!!!!! AHHH!!!!”. Haaa! I’ll holla.

    Mike aka in real life, Mike

    • Mr. Jezus says:

      Mike Lawry!

      What up mane! Haven’t heard from you in a min. I see your still perfecting the not funny material, that’s coo. Hope that works out for you. Glad to hear from you though. I was worried you got smothered under a biggie on a random night of hoggin.

  6. It’s been real. I’ve been following this blog for a few years. Ever since I saw the breakdown of the tail game I knew this site was for me. Over the years you’ve kind of backed off of that and focused on other things and you brought an intelligent viewpoint so that’s what kept me viewing. Still I think you we’re at your best early on.

    Good luck to you man, I’ll be looking out for you.

  7. Today is a sad day. I’ve been following this site since 2008. This site always managed to make me laugh when I was having a shitty day no matter what. Even though it has been slipping in quantity in the past year. I guess I didn’t want to think this site would ever end. The thing about being US is there is always a US to stand up against them. I feel like today is the day this site became THEM. But I’m not being a hater. Its bittersweet. I don’t think he’ll come back to this site like he said he would. But that’s alright. I always knew Brock wasn’t his real name so I ain’t sweating that. It was pretty obvious it wasn’t a real name. But enough off this bullshit! Thanks Brock/Rob for all the laughs the past 5 years. Its like when your best homie gets married. The crew ain’t the crew no more. But you always have the memories.

  8. Brock/Robb much respect. I will miss the blog. Lake introduced me to the site and I never left! I’ve learned a lot from this site about the ways of the world.

    I wish you all the best in L.A. and lots of success. That so close it hurts is real. Lastly, if Tiger can get a new blonde and Spitzer aka Client #9 can rise again so will UvT.

    Rosy-F aka new job so can’t be given out my govt name to internets
    p.s. Tweet more.

  9. I’m gonna miss the site, but I’m gonna miss some of the guys that leave comments on here even more. Good luck, Brock and Lake. And thanks for the laughs, Jezus. Peace.

  10. Damn, six years.

    I found this joint back in summer ’07 and it felt like I was reading some shit I wrote. Literally, like “I must know this cat!” or I stumbled across some shit written by a funnier version of myself.

    Iron Mike, assology, binary scale, thick white chicks, lohan thigh freckles the whole thing.

    Gonna miss it, but can’t blame you.

    Good luck.

  11. Slick Jefferson says:

    What a run! We’re gonna miss the father of Tailnomics and the world’s leading authority of Assology. But I think we’re all a little bit better off for your extensive the field.

    -SJ

  12. semi educated guy says:

    Thanks for the content over these past few years, wish you the best of luck in w/e you do next.

  13. Matta Fact says:

    Cot dayum .. those are some honest, genuine words.
    Keep swingin the bat brother.

    Thanks and Good Luck !!

    — MF / John

  14. Good luck guy…

  15. Ian M. Summers says:

    I’m not saying Jesus winning COTY was the beginning of the end, but if you’re looking at the time line…

    Fuck it, nothing gold can stay. Nice run Brock, nice to meet you Robb.

    -Ian

    • Mr. Jezus says:

      Once I hit COTY, wasn’t anywhere else for shit to go but down. There’s levels to this shit. I sit up at the top…some of you are close….nah, not really.

      • Ian M. Summers says:

        There is a plateu upon which we were rolling ever so smoothly. Itz hated you, you hated Itz, Be hated everything. There was a rythm to it. Then you won COTY and thus began our precipitous decline. Shit all fucked up now. Itz in’t nowhere to be seen. Be is probbly off in love with someone somewhere….

        I blame you Jezus. I blame you.

      • Slick Jefferson says:

        As the person who led the push for the first COTY and UvT awards, I feel partly responsible for Itz’s departure. After Ian won the first COTY Itz commented on practically every post for the next year, like an elite scorer who grabs every rebound too, making sure to sew up the win for the next year. I don’t think the comments here were ever as lively as when Itz, Ian, and Jezus were battling it out for that next one. Just an epic moment in UvT when Brock’s legs were probably getting a little tired but the comments pushed this baby up into hyper gear. I even tried to email Itz to let him know about this post… account no longer exists.

        • Mr. Jezus says:

          Ian,
          It’s cool. You can blame me man. Folks been doing it forever. “Be is probably off in love with someone somewhere”, she might be, but I doubt it’s mutual. I know this is screen names and fun, but that’s one biddy I can’t see no fella throwing a ring on. Just sour…

          Slick,
          It’s not your fault man. You could tell from Itz post he wasn’t cut out for kidz. The wifey popped one out, dat fool ran for the hills! Might have a new SSN and urrythang by now. Who knows the level that cat went to to disappear.

  16. Appreciate you keeping it alive as long as you did. Thanks for all the laughs and shit.
    Great work Brockoli Robb.

    Tim, from New Orleans.

  17. I think 20 years from now I’ll look back and laugh at some of the shit that’s been on UvT. For YEARS UvT and H8torade were the first and last sites to check every damn day.

    I’m gonna go binary rate scale on every lady I see today…

    Adios UvT – good luck to all

  18. Good run my man. I seen a lot of other blogs go down faster. I was always amazed by your dedication to Us. Seems like you’re not ending the blog though. Just changing mediums. Happy Trails.

    END

  19. Dont remember how I stumbled across this website, but dammit Im glad I did. Your run was a like LeBron with the Cavs. You spent years making it to the playoffs…but now its time to move on and win championships. Good luck…dont let the industry destroy you. We will always welcome you back with open arms…if you can find us all

  20. KCTheTruth says:

    Great Blog. Kept checking for information. Glad for the good times and laughs.

    Now the better question…

    Will I get a chance to win a 3rd straight UVT Fantasy Football Title? Or ya’ll dudes scared?

    • KC is Unstoppable in the UvT League. He could get rid of all his clothes and just have an entire wardrobe of UvT shirts I owe him. But that would be a horrible idea because they actually don’t exist.

  21. Team Them CEO says:

    We win! Good game.

  22. Long time reader… but I didn’t reply very often. Like most people I don’t know how I found you blgo – but I’m a better man because of it. You irreverent slant on some issues and dead blunt observations on others made this once of the best kept secrets of the Internet. Which was a problem…. it was a secret and you need to expand!

    Thanks for the insights and laughs…. Man…. for a moment I thought you were going to confess that you’re an Asian female.

    Good luck.

  23. IM SO HURT I just cried real tears it took me a couple months to stop checking everyday to see if you had posted something new and then you finally do and its goodbye there is nowhere else i can go to laugh this hard ..no one else that can appreciate girls who could possibly be a girl who likes girls … im lost ..i have been .. i cant even remember a time before i read this blog i told other people about it ..i think for a year this blog was a part of my daily routine wake up shower coffee uvt and then go to work smh … well good luck on all your future plans thanks for all the laughs and epic comment battles i cant satnd you but jezus ill miss you too rosy f , trible b i loved your comments will miss yall .. and ian you will always be my favorite

  24. G the Intern says:

    Hey man, sorry to see the site go but I definitely understand as well. I had to do the same with a radio show to concentrate on finishing up my novel ( for more info visit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7mt6CB5GR4 #shamelessplug). I remember when I first read this blog, I thought, “They sound just like me!”" and I felt right at home. You totally changed my 1-10 rating scale and helped me develop a true appreciation for dos Beckys and Christina Milian. Greatest of luck. Please know you have positively impacted my life. But since this is your farewell let’s get the record straight. AYE was the mastermind behind March Madnass! Give credit where credit is due! LOL

    Best of luck Nupe! You know I’ll be in touch!
    - G the Intern (Bryan)

  25. Huge Respect. Keeping a blog in this quality up even after Lake left is an amazing piece of work and dedication. Thanks for all the laughs, this is one of the realest sites on the net. Gonna miss it, now I have to slice that amount of bullshit out in this world on my own.

  26. Guess I am late to game but thanks for all the great lol and posts. Sorry to see it end but glad your going on to better things.

  27. jimBrowski1906 says:

    Sad to hear this news. But, I look forward to seeing your work in the near future. You guys have provided me with some of the best laughs and guy material to date. Damn! I am going to miss this place. I nearly cursed out someone in our IT department when they finally blocked UVT. Keep climbing higher, my friend.

  28. Matta Fact says:

    votes are in = 2013 COMMENTOR OF THE YEAR ===== MATTA FACT !!

  29. http://youtu.be/nlMpt4ucH2U

    A more fitting epitaph.

  30. Get it, brother!!! We will keep the faith. Sorry Matta, don’t mean to steal your last word.

  31. Finally used your real name huh… I’ll be in LA in December holla

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