Can Kanye drop one damn album without people claiming he’s the devil incarnate? I mean damn, can’t a brother call himself Yeezus without a backlash?
Look, I’m not too tight with my bible work, but I’m pretty sure this may or may not be a violation of at least two of the ten commandments. He also drops a track called “I am God (featuring God)” I’m not sure how many other people can get God on the track, but I listened to it, and Kanye didn’t even let God drop a hot 16. But you know I’ve got to get to the bottom of this controversy, so we had to talk to the devil himself.
UvT: I hear you got a new album coming out. We’re talking blasphemy, graven images, Illuminati all of that.
Devil: You think I’m gonna drop a new album and it’s only going to be ten tracks? Yeezus is like 40 minutes. Let me tell you something. If I drop a new album it isn’t going to be a glorified EP. Cloud Atlas ran for like 3 hours. You think my album is going to be shorter than an episode of Law and Order?
UvT: So you’re saying you didn’t make the album?
D: The album just dropped. I don’t even know if people like it yet. If I get a Grammy nomination, maybe we’ll talk.
UvT: What about Kim and Kanye’s baby. You got anything to do with that?
D: All I’m going to say is this. If you find out Kim gave the baby booty implants to cover up her secret, that was my work.
D: I might have already said too much.
UvT: Fine. I see you aren’t really going to give me any info.
D: Look man. Did you hear that production? If I dropped an album, I’d have Timbaland on that joint. Pharrell, Swizz Beatz. All those cats.
UvT: So you’re saying you did the new Jay-Z album? Is that you on the right?
UvT: Looks like you…
D: Fine. The album….no. That deal with Samsung to try to get people to buy phones to get a Jay-Z album three days early, I’ll go ahead and say that was my idea. That and Timbaland getting fat again. He was getting cocky. No more tank tops for that dude.
UvT: I have just one more question, do you have anything to do with Danny Green hitting all those threes in the NBA Finals?
D: No comment.
There you have it folks. Check out the album and let me know what you think.