Now that football season is over, I’ve turned my attention to the NBA. I started paying attention when I saw this story cross the wire. Remember Greg Oden? The guy who got picked number one over Kevin Durant? The guy who has played about as many NBA games as me since then because his bones are made of Jolly Ranchers and wicker? Apparently there are real squads looking at trying to pick Oden up for the rest of the season. The Heat, the Celtics, they are all trying to give him workouts to see if he can make the squad.
I don’t know who will land him. I don’t know what he will contribute. But I know what I’ll call him.
There’s no way this is working out, but it is a proof that the most valuable thing in the NBA is the extra two inches between 6’10″ and 7’0″. Because there is no good reason for anyone to be looking for Greg Oden right now.
If Greg Oden signs prepare for a tinkling sound in 5…4…3…2…