Lights Out: Recap of the Super Bowl

I was still getting my second half nachos tight when I came back and heard the lights were out at the Super Bowl. My first thought was this:

Then I remembered that Shawn Merriman was only good for about 3 seasons, was probably on that stuff for all of this decent years and hasn’t been relevant for a good 4 seasons. So he couldn’t have been the one who turned the lights out. Then I remembered it was in New Orleans. You know there were a good 30 seconds where everyone in the Super Dome thought it was either Katrina Part 2, or some wildness about to go down. I know the Super Bowl snipers were ready. Don’t sleep, there is someone hidden up there somewhere waiting to take someone out if they detected a threat.

For guys who make a living talking on television, the commentators sure as hell didn’t know how to fill the 30 minute gape caused by the blackout, that was some of the worst tv I’ve ever seen. How many times did they try to tell us how long it takes a fluorescent light back on? Great reporting fellas.

Finally they said it was a power surge. Well, I know who is responsible for that.

Maybe we should talk to the chick who danced on top of  a 40 foot wide LED screen for 20 minutes. I think she might have had something to do with it. She’s got Destiny’s children exploding all up out of the stage. She’s dancing with multiple versions of herself. Beyonce blew up the Super Bowl. If you are going to give us 6 years of old musical acts because of Janet Jackson’s boob, maybe we can ease off on the crazy displays during the halftime shows for the next few years. After all, we are here for a football game. I like a Beyonce concert as much as the next guy, but I’m here for the game.

Of course, there is also the game inside of the game. Like the horrible play of the Niners special teams that made Jim Harbaugh do this.

In real time that looked like a really legit tantrum, but every time you look at it on a loop it gets worse and worse. What’s that big loopy thing he’s doing with his arms? Is that a dismount? I like how he goes right hand, left hand, both hands, but he really doesn’t get any velocity on those two laminated sheets of paper. Those khaki pants aren’t doing him any favors either. He should have saved that anger for the last play of the fourth quarter when there was a no call on holding…because that was clearly holding.

Am I the only one who actually needed more shots of Ray Lewis crying? Yeah? Just me? Lucky I keep a few handy.

I’m just glad they didn’t give Ray the MVP s a parting gift. They barely mentioned his name after the game started. I forgot he was out there for a second. Luckily, he will be right at a desk on ESPN the second football is back next season. I look forward to it. Yes I’m being sarcastic. Oh well, it’s another 7 months until football comes back. I guess I’ll kinda watch basketball until March Madness and the NBA playoffs, then ignore sports until next September. That plan has always worked well for me before.

-Brock