Barry Bonds Looks a Little Different

I think that’s it. Yeah I think he’s been working out. I can’t quite place it. Maybe you can help me out. Let’s take a look. Here’s the Barry Bonds we all know.

He’s a big boy. Head the size of the astrodome itself. Arms the size of the legs of other grown men. This is the Barry Bonds that was launching baseballs into McCovey Cove for a decade. This week, Barry decided to go for a bike ride and this is what we got instead.

Say what, now? Is that Barry Bonds or the dude from the Red Stripe commercial? Boo steroids, Hooray Beer! Unless that dude is the size of Triple H, and I’m pretty sure he’s not, Barry seems to have lost a few pounds. While I don’t doubt that he has a great eye, quick hands, and the power to send it out of the park every once in a while…that looks like warning track power to me. Maybe some of those other guys have slimmed down too.

Let’s see, Roger Clemens was just in court and has was supposedly on that juice, maybe he’s slimmed down too.

Damn, Rocket! You still on that stuff? You trying to get out there again? You look like you might be shooting up under that suit jacket right now. What about Mark McGwire?

You know what? I’m not even going to pull up a recent picture of him. That dude was so big I think it might actually be impossible for him to lose weight. No one expects the Incredible Hulk to slim down unless he turns into Bruce Banner, so unless someone tells me Mark McGwire was hit by gamma rays in the mid 90’s and he’s really a skinny dude named Marty McIntyre who has just been angry for the last 20 years, I’m just going to keep assuming that Mark McGwire is still the same size.

Here’s my question though. Does the fact that Barry Bonds is skinny now mean he is more guilty or less guilty of being on the roids? If two guys stayed big and one guy went back to skinny, base stealing, Pittsburgh Pirates Barry Bonds, who was really on the stuff. Different results means different  approaches, right?

I’m not going to lie, I’m a little shook by that picture. Barry looks about 190 in that pic. When he played, he was a good 230. If anyone knows what happened to the rest of Barry Bonds, hit me up.



  1. Barry went from looking like The Rock to looking like the black dude from “40-Year-Old Virgin”

  2. Mr. Jezus says:

    So he dropped 39lbs of water weight…….

  3. Barry ain’t playing no more yall. Look at Mike Tysons now, look at Bo Jackson now. Clearly I’m the only former athlete here.

  4. Mr. Jezus says:

    Looks like Rodger switched protein shakes for milk shakes

  5. Mr. Jezus says:

    Actually, looking again, Pic 2 should be his 1st defense against HGH use. I mean look at his dome right there. That shit is 1/16 from the required head : body bobble head ratio