New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced last week that he is pursuing a ban on sugary drinks in New York City. This isn’t the first time he’s done it either. He’s already slammed calories, smoking, trans fats, and hoes. Okay, I actually think Giuliani took care of the hoes, but Bloomberg took care of everything else. He’s quietly been trying to make New Yorkers healthier. He’s smooth about it too. The only thing he ever banned was trans fat, but once everyone found out what was trans fat was, no one wanted to eat it anyway. Everything else he just makes you cut back on. Wanna smoke? Go ahead, just pay this $4.35 per pack. LITERALLY. Damn near $5 per pack. Mayor Bloomberg says fuck you smokers! Oh and by they way, you can’t smoke inside or within 15 feet of anyone’s front door…which in New York is pretty much everywhere. You don’t need to lower the calories in the food, but if you want a double slammy burger with the sauce and the extra cheese, we’re gonna let you know you’re clocking 1150 calories. It’s harder to place that order when you see that big ass number beside it. Now it is sodas, Bloomberg wants to limit the drinks to 16 ounces so people will stop drinking all that soda.
I’m not mad at him. People who still drink soda need some outside help. You are the smokers of this generation. In the future, you will have to go outside your office building and stand by the dumpster to Do the Dew. I’ve seen people drop 20 pounds just by cutting Coke out of their life. Easiest diet ever. If you order the drink on the right over here:
Why are you fighting so hard against this? You clearly don’t give a damn about yourself. The Mayor might need to step in to help you out. Who needs 64 ounces of drank? That’s half a gallon of soda, that’s drinking a 2 liter by yourself. That’ can’t be for one person. You want to know what makes it worse.
These assholes at Kentucky Fried had the nerve to drop the “Kentucky Grilled Chicken” logo on the side. My nilla Lake broke down why KGC ain’t right way back in 2009. Look, if someone orders up the drink with a handle on it that is packing 217 grams of sugar, they are not ordering the grilled chicken, ok? They are getting a bucket of extra tasty crispy and a few double downs. When you drink has a handle on it, you are doing too much. If you have a drink cup that has a handle on it that actually holds a gallon of soda in it, you are doing way too much.
Dude is still slimmed out now, but if he keeps drinking that soda that horse on his shirt is gonna look regular sized before he’s done.
So a lot of people are mad at Bloomberg for proposing this ban. Who are these people? What do you really want? This is at restaurants and vendors. I have to admit, there is nothing worse than buying lunch and hitting the bottom of that drink before you get done eating. But if you need a big soda, just hit the local bodega and get yourself a 22 of Dr. Pepper. You can still get what you want. The mayor is trying to save you from yourself. Man Up and let him do it. It’s better for you. We know what will happen if you are left to your own devices.
Yeah, we know exactly what will happen.
Man Up big fella.
-Brock
So your cool with him taking the big soda drank away eh? What if he outlawed that venti coffee? You down for that? His reasoning? At least folks wouldn’t be pissing in bottles in their rides. Sit is unsanitary
*shit is unsanitary*
He should do that. I’d appreciate it. You should see when I order up that 30 oz. Iced Tea. I think that is literally more volume than my stomach can hold. There should be an internet challenge to see who can finish those joints.
As a general rule of thumb I look at it like this: anything over 30oz falls into the Bladder Buster category. I try to avoid this category if possible.
Dis soundz like texxbook encroachment on personal freedomz to your humble narrator.
Das unconstitutional type thinkin’ riht there. Sum basik principles of our society are being stomped on wit sum steel toed boots riht there.
@ OBB
I see what he is trying to do. People are fat, and need to get their shit/waist under control, but he is taking away a fella’s choice to drink 84oz of Dr. Pepper and das not cool.
It will/can lead to other freedoms being removed. Folks just gonna buy 2 dranks, or will he impose a limit that you can only buy 1 per person? Not to mention, movie night is all fucked up. Now you got to get up, miss 5-10 mins of the movie waiting in line cuz you can only get the 12oz soda? (Side Note: The movie theather is the only place where I am 100% go on the Bladder Buster. It’s hard round about the 1:45 mark but you got to do it) If the government is worried about fatties, how bout if you can’t pass a damn physical, your insurance stops paying? You get a couple strikes, but if you aren’t showing some improvement, you get no coverage. You have to put the onus on the people. Regulating what they can and can’t buy is simply going to have people working around it.
@Jezus
U said sum trufs. We goss ta pay fer dis stuff?
What meat do these Caesars feed on, Jezus?
More like, “Wit what drank dat Mayr gon’ get HIS drink on?” @OBB, ya boi Cash-us gots it straight – dem boys in dat Cit-uh Hall (much like da currnt White House) gone plain off da deep end wit dis one. Talkin ’bout Ol’ Ron can’t get his Big Gulp. Iny’alls know if dis ‘ban’ boo-shit gon’ outlaw a four-OH?
For real do, that is some slipp’ry slope pile o’ junk. An’ ya boi Brock think iss aight, and WE da ones need-a Man Up! I’ll be.
@ MFn Ron
Amen, my brutha. Dey shunt be startin dis type inteference. He who raizez a cobra, dies bitten. Dat big gupment cobra jus a lil python wit cute, shiny skin now, but it gonna grow up and wanna strangle u just da same.
I’d write that post 100 times if it was guaranteed to kick off a discusion of civil liberties in Itzish every time.
@ OBB
“What meat do these Caesars feed on”
When I read that, I thought “Man these fatties must be eating like Kangs! Wagyu beef buffets urrywhere!” So I hit the skreetz. Figured I would take a look, and get a bite. I looked left, I looked right, funny thing was I ain’t see no top line jernts anywhere. Tell you what I did see though, 2 things: 1) Muffin tops 2) a plethora of Biggus Mackus on every other street corner.
So I said to myself I said “Jezus what can you do to help man out?” Then it hit me! When I see one walking with a donut, I am slapping that shit straight their hand. I see one going into the Ryan’s/Sizzler/Golden Corral….etc. I am going to let them know their overworked heart doesn’t need “all you can eat” anymore. To all you NYC folks, after Foolburg passes the no Big Gulp law, every time you go to a drank spot and get you a 16oz soda, you need to look the fatty in front or behind you in line and “this could be a 32 if you knew how to fucking control yourself” Consider it your civic duty from this day forward.
Haaaaaa. And now you all know the answer to the question “What Would Jezus Do?” Next time I see someone with a Doughnut it is going to be hard not to slap it out of their hand.
I also done seen where dem bois at Disney puttin’ up controls ovah food-stuffs at they parks, nuh-trishunal info durn’ they advutisments, and what-not. An’ Ol’ Ron was like – DAS wassup. DAS how it need-a be. Das privut err-prise, puttin’ on some lock-down fo they own selves. They think there-a problm, THEY talk wif dey OWN bennies and lay it down. And cain’t nobody else say a mufuccin word. But big gub-ment up inna a nilla’s happy meal, “cause I say so”? Dat shit ain’t right.
@ MF’n Ron O’Neal
Zackly! That is what bitnesses need to do. Have some accountability. Yeah, you can sell the 2300 calories 1/2 a hog Bacon burger with the 3 cheeses……hole up. I lost my train of thought. Uhhh well I guess I can see why you would sell that. I can’t be mad at Wendy for making her $$$ I spose. Maybe they could put some jump ropes in the happy meals. At least the kids could get some sort of exercise, since none of the lil shitlin’s go outside these days.
I didn’t get to slap any doughnuts today, but I did ask the chick working the counter at the gym if she really was gonna hit the treadmill up after eating that McGriddle. She was not pleased.
Oh man. Jezus is on fire on this one. After you ask that McGriddle question, you need to hit her with that. Really? (5 second pause) Really?
Sometimes on rare occasions I needs 32 oz of icy cold paradise called the Slurpee. If i’m out there double fistin ican’t open the door to my house. This is purely a convenience issue.
@ Brock
I didn’t go with the really, but I did give that lingering stare……..
Did she think I was an asshole, sure. But maybe, just maybe she will get her shit together. Truth hurts.
i know what you are saying brock
i only drink water (and of course the stuff that flows out of my girls vajuju)
but can you really ban unhealthy food and drinks?
i know the bigger cups and bigger portions make people eat more
but maybe tehy should start by giving school kids healthy meals
in this michael morre documetnary they said schools are contracting soda companies to supply drinks
which means no water but only coe or dew
and no healthy food just fast food
but honestly i dont fucking care if people get fat
what i care about is the people who starve
bloomberg should help them!