March Madnass: The Final Four

The Final Four has been selected. According to #TeamUs these are the baddest four chicks in all the land. We lost Laura Dore, the last Final Four participant from last year. Of course, our 2011 champion, Stacey Dash wasn’t in this year. Let’s meet the ladies of the Final Four. I tried to hit each lady with an angle 2 and something in motion. Voting is wide open on this one. Everyone gets two votes. The top two vote getters go into the final next week.

First up, we have Jessica Biel. Nts5 in the comments said Jessica Biel lost a step, but the pic is from 2012 still looks like UvT Quality to me.

Then of course there is this level of commitment to her craft.

That’s right, I’m not going to make this easy on you.

Next Up, Esther Baxter:

I couldn’t find a quick gif on Esther, so I found a short video that should give you more than everything you need.

If you consider that too much footage in comparison to the other ladies, shoot me something short and I’ll update it.

Our third entry into the Final Four is SueLyn Medieros:

Yeah, that’s great. This is too.

Of course, if you want that real NSFW video heat, you can check the link over at my boy TurdFerguson’s Blog by clicking HERE. You know I don’t watch those things, but I hear it seems pretty fake.

Finally, we have Esquire cover model Sofia Vergara.

Now I know this is Us Versus Them, the home of Assology, but the internet does not tend to focus on Ms. Vergara’s assets. We get something else entirely.

Subtle…hypnotic.  I’ve got to give you more than that.

The wardrobe people on Modern Family clearly think about Sofia Vergara’s J’s like they are two additional cast members. Making a Golden Globe joke here is beneath me.

So those are your Final Four. Voting runs through at least Saturday. Pass the word, we’re almost to the end.

I apologize if you were somewhere with bad internet speed. That post just totally fucked your browser. Just understand it was for the greater good.



  1. Mr. Jezus says:

    Now I know why Nicca Phelps ain’t been commenting……

    Guess he got more important thangs to do.

  2. arareblend says:

    I am voting for SueLyn rocking that fly azz Bunz awareness joint. Someone hit Susan Komen up and tell em UvT is on to something. You figure all that walking they do to save breastsssss … them ASSes ought to be firming right up

  3. normally I would go all in for JB, but Vergara has the entire package… sans gel injections.

    My hands on winner.

  4. @Nts5? Where are you man? I need your evaluation of Biel in that pic above. That doesn’t look like someone who has lost a step to me. What you got?

  5. Mr. Jezus says:

    @ jmack

    I am voting Biels and Sofia all day urryday. I think Sofia and Jess are the best overall looking brawds here. I don’t think Jess has implants, and you can tell Sofia’s assets are real as well.

  6. Esther and Jessica.

    • Little late slh…Luckily Jessica won. Probably shouldn’t be dropping votes in March Madnass in late April. Welcome to the #TeamUs family though.