Man Up Monday: New England Patriots

The New York Giants won the Superbowl, beating the Patriots…Again.

Sure, everyone was leaning New York this year, but everyone just knew the Patriots were going to pull it out. When you are Tom Brady and Bill Belichick, you aren’t supposed to lose two Superbowls in a row. All the old school wisdom of “guys who get there and lose know what it takes to get the win” doesn’t really look like such good advice right now. The New York Giants seem to have the Patriots number at this point. That and the Patriots completely forgot how to pass the ball in the second half.

I have to imagine it is getting ugly in New England. You know who I blame? Chad Ochocinco. If dude was even remotely effective, even as a decoy he could have helped. Did you ever think Chad Johnson-cinco would be in a Super Bowl and everyone would barely recognize he was there. Next year the league will barely recognize he was there because he’s probably not going to be in the league. Maybe he can hook back up with T.O. and do Real Ex-Players of Cincinnati.

Bill Belichick’s “crazy genius” is going to be a little less impressive without the Super Bowl wins. Also, once he was busted for “Spygate” he hasn’t been soo good at winning Super Bowls. Uh-oh. Once of the biggest rules of life is that you can be a crazy asshole when you are winning, but once you start losing, you kinda just look like a homeless dude who found some hand me down Patriots gear.

Add a beard and I’m pretty sure he looks just like the dude at my exit on the freeway. Side note. I believe when I reference the Us Versus Them rulebook, Rule #28 is “Cutoff shorts only look good on women.” That rule was developed in reference to jean shorts, because I couldn’t imagine a grown man trying to make shorts out of any other material. But Belichick is rocking cuttoff sweats. Not only that, but the fact that the shorts are cuttoffs means he chose that length. I’m pretty sure he would have been sent home from my middle school for shorts that short. That much thigh is simply unacceptable.

So Eli Manning and the Giants win the Superbowl and I think Eli might actually smile when he gets to Disney World.

Maybe not. Remember 5 months ago when everyone was outraged that Eli Manning even suggested that he was a top 5 QB in the league? How no one could believe Eli thought he was “Elite”? There was a two week discussion about how much Eli Manning sucked. Every “expert” on TV was putting Eli firmly in that second tier of QB’s. Now, there are three QB’s playing with more than one Superbowl ring. Eli, Tom Brady and Ben Rothlesberger. We judge skills with wins, right? Eli basically balled up all that criticism and issued a big “Screw You” to the world last night.

So New England Patriots, Man Up! If you need a point of reference, check out Eli over there. His coach was about to get fired about 5 weeks ago. He just brought him home the big trophy.

-Brock

Comments

  1. Was there any doubt ? As soon as folk saw dat my favorite nilla Eli and the other G-Men made it to the Superbowl, they should have known the outcome. I got me a little grip from da win, so now I can take my gurl someplace fancy for V-Day. Red Lobster here we come, lol.

    @Jezus

    I saw your comment about da Giants win in da J.Lo post. You knew I was gonna talk shit, so tried a little summin to cut me off at da pass. You think you slick nilla, but you ain’t getting away. Fuck you, Fuck da Cowboys, Fuck da scrawny rack you won off my team’s win and Fuck da gay ass, no point having reply you plan to make to this comment.

  2. Mr. Jezus says:

    @ Itz

    Being the type of nilla I am, I wanted to be the first to say congrats. Cause I know being the type of nicca you are, you ain’t got shit else going in your life. So go put your Eli jersery on and dream about being like me when you grow up.

    Like I said, it’s the Year of Jezus, I am literally wasting G’s from other nillas on nothing right now. You ain’t phasing me nicca.

  3. Lucky Lefty says:

    Shoutout to the nilla Eli. Wasn’t for him, would never have seen Maria Menounos in that bikini. UVT quality http://tinyurl.com/6oxk2uq

  4. A guy in Pittsburgh says:

    Brady = Eli’s Bitch

    *drops mic*