There is just too much out there tonight. Like is said on the UvT Twitter Feed, I don’t know how I’m going to get to it all. Let’s start with Herman Cain. Like my boy Mike Lawry said:
I thought Herman Cain was going Tiger Woods there for a second. His old women were coming out of the woodwork. A woman accused him of sexual harassment. Big Daddy Cain called B.S. and kept it moving. Another woman said he rubbed her high thigh in the back of a limo and implied she could exchange sex for a job, Cain’t Touch This said “hail naw chick, you can’t prove nothin”. But when they found this chick Ginger White…
Herman Cain was like “Who’s talking junk now? Who? Ginger White. Y’all found Ginger? You know what? I don’t want to be President anymore. I’m out.”
I guess after Herman had a 13 year “friendship” with Ginger here, he wasn’t really ready to answer any more questions about the matter. This chick shut down a PRESIDENTIAL CAMPAIGN. What the hell does she know? Whatever it is, Herman sure as hell didn’t want to talk about it. He’s out. He shoulda known too. You can’t have a side chick named Ginger White. That just sounds like a chick tryin to set you up. Herman, it might be too late to Man Up on this one. If this one was a UFC Fight, Herman Cain just tapped out. That choke must have been locked in a lot tighter than we thought.
Speaking of a choke being locked in tight, did you see that Jonny ‘Bones’ Jones vs. Lyoto Machida fight? Here’s how it ended.
My man choked him out with pure, brute strength. [gif from the good people at Iron Forges Iron] That was that no tap out choke. As bad as that looked, it wasn’t the craziest thing that happened Saturday night. Frank “Tap or Snap” Mir also got a hold of “Big Nog” Nogueira. Mir was in trouble when he was able to drag Big Nog to the ground, from there it was classic Frank Mir big man jiu jitsu. Here’s a tip. When a 265 pound man has your arm twisted behind your back, if you try once or twice and it doesn’t seem like you are gonna get out…you might want to tap on out. Otherwise you end up with this:
Not really what you want as a fighter. We know you are tough, no need to be that dude laying in the ring for an extra 15 minutes while they hook you up with a bootleg splint. Man Up and tap out. No need to lose an arm over it.
Here’s a quick shot. Congratulations to Baylor QB, Robert Griffin III, on winning the Heisman.
Two quick things though. Man Up on that hair. I’m a firm believer that a man should get his hair “cut”, not “done”. Second, Man Up for thinking these socks were a good idea.
Really? The sock cape? Even Clark Kent thinks those are terrible.
RG3. Man Up on that one. Those are turrible.
Finally, Man Up to the fans of the St. Louis Cardinals. I know you think Albert Pujols left for money.
Here’s a secret. If a dude slides out to some crappy team to clock an additional $2 Million, maybe $4 Million (looking at you Pudge Rodriguez) you might have an argument. When a guy leaves for an extra $52 MILLION, let me do that with the zeroes so you know how much money that is…that’s $52,000,000.00. That’s about so much money, it’s not even about the money anymore. That becomes about personal pride and not being an idiot. Because if you walk away from $52 Million, you are, in fact, an idiot. He had to do it…let it go.
So Herman Cain, Lyoto Machida, and Minotauro Nogueira, and Robert Griffin III, and the people of St. Louis…MAN UP!