Ode To Christina Aguilera: It Coulda Been Worse

Christina Aguilera caught a lot of heat this week for her rendition of the National Anthem at the Superbowl this weekend.  Sure, it was a classic song on a huge stage and she blew a line on a classic song that everyone knows until they have to sing it out loud in front of 100 Million people.  Lake laid out our position on it.  At least she held the melody though.  Let me tell you, that was nothing compared to some of the crimes that have been committed against our musical symbol of American pride.

Cuba Gooding Sr.

You gotta love that “test” he thought he needed after “thank you” came out just fine.  My man really thinks he nailed it at the end.  It went just the way he wanted it to.  In his mind, he was like “I just kilt that right there.”  And here I was thinking Cuba Jr. was the most random dude in that family.

I don’t know who this dude is, but he keeps his Anthem methodical and really goes for it at the end.  Why do people feel like they have to jazz up the National Anthem?  Just sing the song. It works just fine.

When people hit those last two lines, they just lose their minds.

Let’s not forget the classics, Rosanne Barr.

That went down in 1990.  I wonder if she knew she would be offending people from the future when she dropped that.

My personal favorite has to be the classic Carl Lewis.  Clipped but still great.  You’ve got to love that Carl does his own commentary as he is singing. That “Uh-Oh” is him critiquing himself.

But Lake found the ultimate.  I’ve never seen anything this bad.  First he starts before he gets himself comfortable on the mic, then he checks the lyrics ON THE FIRST LINE.  Where did this dude go to elementary school? Canada?  It really is amazing.

At least he knows the tune…kinda.  After all that, after butchering that song ALL THE WAY THROUGH, knowing that joint was not right, he STILL went for it on “Star Spangled Banner Yet Wave” line.

COP DOWN!

Someone tell Christina to visit UvT if she ever needs a pick me up.

-Brock

Comments

  1. Das 3 fuckin fails right dere.

    Read up Coo-ba Sr. it’s O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave, you got that? Dat goes for you too random ass Don Cornelius leanin mufucka. As for dat cop…..I ain’t gon post all the kot damn lyrics. You fosed to know some of that shit if you gon sing it.

    Here is a thought…does anyone have to tryout to sing this song anymore? Or can a random ass musucka just walk the fuck up and say “The antnem? Yeah dawg, I can bang that out.”…….da fuck?

    Real talk, only song/perform I have ever heard that was worse, was the O Mazin Grace from dat O mazin crack head. Run dat:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaOtKpR3N1E

    How sweet da soun!

    I hope they catch the finger on that next TSA search….2nd knuckle

  2. Brother is hooked on ebonics I see

    • @Fancy

      Just a quick piece of history. Mr. Jezus starting speaking in “Itzish” after a narrow loss to Itzdatdude for commenter of the year. Itzish is an extreme form of ebonics introduced to this forum by Itzdatdude. I think it is a long lasting parody performance that I have to imagine is hurting his brain. Can’t pinpoint exactly when or why it started, but it seems to be getting worse.

  3. Jville 78 says:

    U need to get on your interns Brock. That cop jacking up that national anthem been out for about 3 years. U usually be ahead of the game with your posts. But its still funny as shit

  4. Mr. Jezus says:

    *performance

  5. Itzdatdude says:

    Folk need to start Auto-tuning this Anthem shit. Its about dat time.
    Even so, I still blame da sound man at deez smaller events. As soon as nicca hits dat “OOOh say…” dumb low, u ‘pose to flip dat off switch and hit ‘em wit da technical difficulties excuse. Since everybody knew a turrible rendition was about to molest their ear holez, no one would hate on da sound man, except for maybe da no good singing ass nicca.

    @Brock

    You have Spanish, then you have da La mumbo jumbo Puerto Ricans speak.
    You have Itzish, then you have da bullshit dat Jezus is speaking.
    Dat might be a semi-racist way of putting it, but you catch my drift.

    Also, those twerk team broads got a little thicker, so you know Datdude had to subscribe. I hope you did too.
    And I got dat Black History Month dyme list ready and waiting. 16 broads this time.

  6. @ Itz:

    Hahahaha, Nyoricans are a different breed. All american latinos have their own version of spanglish. Funniest thing ever is to watch them try that ish on a european spanish person.

  7. Mr. Jezus says:

    @ Brock

    Damn homie did me like that eh? Ain’t dat some shit….

    Let attempt to clear it up a bit.

    I use a dat, few dere’s and a couple das erry now and then but I don’use the z out of respek for datnicca. Das his ish and I leave it alone. Check the post from way back. I go back and forth depending on said post and how much holy wines I have had.

  8. Itzdatdude says:

    @Be

    Yea, don’t I know it, my gurl is proficient in Spanglish. I would give some funny examples, but she might read da comments and I ain’t trying to ride da couch right now, my back been hurting…26n1/2 ain’t agreeing wit me, lol.

    @Jezus
    This nilla sweating it. Folk just fuckin’ wit you. You went dumb hard wit da ebonics in dat post, so you had to have seen da friendly fire coming. You’re shit was actually more closer to Bertie Brownz comments, but its all gravy, cuz we’re all equally ignant.
    Just keep doing what you do. Who cares? Type wat you feel and only apologize if you absolutely have too . Dats my rule. Learn from da master, Sensei Itz.

  9. Mr. Jezus says:

    No pologies dude. Clarification is all.

    People been sayin shit since da begiining of time…….but im Jezus…..I walk on water

  10. Ian M. Summers says:

    @Itz

    Semi-racist? That shit is full-blown proper racist (also kind of true and funny).

    I learned what Spanish I know from Ecuadorians, and apparently they speak the most fucked Spanish of every Latino country, so like 1 out of every 5 Spanish people I meet understands me and the ones who understand me are always Ecuadorian (though they do compliment me on my Spanish).

  11. @ Ian:

    Ha! I don’t even try to play around with spanish. Plus, not speaking the language is the fastest way to indicate “I’m not one of you” when I visit peeps in florida.

  12. Marvin Gaye 1983 ALL STAR GAME DOG

  13. Funny thing bout the antnem, it has been performed SO many times…yet there are so few good verisons..

    Pre-Crack Whitney was good…Faith Hill knocked it out….Marvin Gaye did it right….Daughtry rocked it out couple years back….

    Those are a few good ones that come to mind