So much has happened this year, this was a close one. Being a member is Team Us is hard sometimes. There is so much wildness out there, Team Them is so strong that the burden of shining the light on those who spread darkness is a necessary evil. It is so difficult to choose a single example of someone who needs to Man Up more than the rest. It isn’t difficult because people who need to Man Up is so rare, but because there are so many examples.
So the 2010 UvT Award for Man Up of the Year goes to…
Brett Favre has a special distinction for edging this one out because he literally did not have to have any of it happen. Brett Favre could have just kept his head down walked into the Hall of Fame with tears in his eyes five years from now. But no, The Gunslinger had to give it one more run. No one has created a situation where they were obviously going to lose and still continued to ride the horse until it died, disintegrated, and fell apart since Hillary Clinton in the 2008 elections.
Let’s start at the beginning. The last thing Brett Favre actually had to do in 2010 was finish up the playoffs with the Vikings. Minnesota was rolling, Brett was feeling it. I’ll tell you what he didn’t have to do, this:
I watch enough sports to know that everyone makes mistakes. But I will tell you that Paul Allen DOES NOT GET IT on that one. Why would he even ponder passing? Because he’s Brett Freaking Favre. He’s not taking a knee so some punk ass kicker can take his glory. He’d rather die with both guns a blazin than make the last play a slide for position.
Brett was out on his ranch in Mississippi when his coach Brad Childress came down to talk to him about his plans. Brett was literally gunslinging on his own property, shooting Armadillos on his property. Jim Rome runs some classic audio of the moment.
Then he has his teammates come down to Mississippi to beg for him to come back. Of course, Brett decided to come on back now that the team was done with two-a-days and there was only one practice left. But that practice didn’t go so well.
That moment pretty much summed up how his season went this year. Then, for a dude who was trying to spit game to his side chick, he dropped the softest game I’ve ever heard on Jenn Sterger.
“I’ve got practice for a couple more hours, then I’m going back to the hotel to uh…just chill. I’d like to have you come over tonight” I mean being the most attention getting football star in America for the last 20 years didn’t sharpen Favre’s game up better than that? I know he can be more grandiloquent than that. (shout to justsayin). He is really spitting that sincere, “let’s go steady” game to a chick who is half his age and who clearly knows he has a wife? You can’t be a nice guy when you are trying to fuck around on your wife during preseason practice. SHE KNOWS YOU ARE NOT A GOOD GUY. By pretending to be a good guy, you are actually lying TWICE. If you are going to be a cheater, go full cheater, bring some swagger to it. By acting like you are a great guy, you are lying to your wife and lying to your side chick. You aren’t selling “great guy” to your side chick, you are selling “I chose you”. Big difference. You probably aren’t gonna be meeting the parents, cut the act. I get it though, Jenn Sterger is bad.
Beyond that, and I believe I also gave this advice to John Edwards. When you are cheating on your wife, the sex tape/picture of your dack is probably not the worlds greatest idea. Do you think a woman is going to erase a picture of Brett Favre’s dick? Wait, let me back up. Who thinks it is a good idea to send a picture of their dick? You know what women do with picture of dicks? Show it to their friends every time they need a conversation starter. I think I just broke my own rule for talking about another man’s dack. I’m gonna make it up to myself by only talking about ass for the rest of the week.
Finally, Brett was a complete debacle on the field. It was actually kind of sad. I’m not going to say he isn’t a tough guy, he definitely plays through pain, but it was ugly to see the old man get beat up out there.
Brett, I know you came back for glory this year. Well here is your first award for the season this year. Man Up! The saddest part is that you did it to yourself. It didn’t have to be this way, but let’s be honest, you were never going to go out on top. That just means you had more in the tank, you were always destined to be dragged off of the field screaming and kicking. Your squad is starting Joe Webb for God’s sake. Your coach got fired. You had Randy Moss for like three weeks. Your stadium collapsed and was unusable. Brett, you didn’t have to be here for any of this. You shoulda been shootin’ ‘dillos in your front yard.
Runner up goes to the Washington Redskins for whatever the hell is going on down there. That whole situation is just bizarre.