Rachel McAdams: Unexpected Arse is Fake? STOP IT’S THE MOTHAF*$%IN REMIX!!!!!

I few weeks ago, I thought my Assological research had unearthed one of the true, ahem, white whales in the world.  In the elusive quest to prove that the White Girl Tail Scale should not top out at a perfect 8, I am always looking for Unexpected Arse. Not only did I find the best example of unexpected tail since Mena Suvari, but I found it in full motion!

I mean that is an angle 2.5, full crease, bubble tail special!  I’m still calling that pure gold.  In fact, we’ve also discovered additional footage that added a little shimmy shake set up to the instant classic tail tuck shown above.

I don’t even know if UvT vision would have gone as far as that video went to slow that joint down and repeat it. Those last few versions of the slowed down clip made me feel like I was on the 4th level of the goddamn Inception watching that fuckin white van fall into the water in slow motion for 45 minutes. Uhhhhh…spoiler alert?  Anyway, after all that goodness the haters showed up.  First, Ian provided a cryptic link to a woman named Marie-Pierre Beausejour.  It was like Ian didn’t want to crush everyone’s dreams at once, but he couldn’t bear to leave the truth uncovered.  No explanation, the link didn’t provide any background.  Nothing.  The current leader for UvT Commenter of the Year, Itzdatdude issued the first yellow card and said that was a body double.  He even went so far as to provide evidence to back it up.  Here’s the comment. For those of you not familiar, yes this is written in a unique language but from experience, I can tell you it is the proper use of the Itzish language.

“I’m sad right now. I decided to take a break and go search for a couple more pictures of sweetheart who I had recently nicknamed Miss McAdamnz, out of love for her pretty ass posterior. And what I found out made my dack angry. Apparently ole gurl had a body double for this particular movie, which in turn deceived our finely tuned assological senses. Supposedly, da one wit da ass dat stay on beast mode is none other than this girl on da stairs”

You will see Rachel McAdams in the background and her body double in the foreground wearing the same outfit.  I must say the body double does seem to be sporting a mean back arch and tail game for a chick in flat sandals, but I’m not ready to accept this as the truth.  Damn you for confusing us Marie-Pierre Beausejour!  Of course pictures of Marie are impossible to find.

Then, inexplicably, Ian doubled back to provide counter-evidence to his counter-evidence.  That’s right..the dreaded Counter-counter-evidence.  Before we get to it, I clearly need to establish authenticity.  I’ve had the UvT interns combing the internet for a source shot to establish credibility.

That is Rachel McAdams.  That is her face, that is her loose, yet clingy dress at a the movie premier for “The Time Travelers Wife.”  This was provided by Hiram in the UvT Kenya office.  I didn’t know we had members of Team Us in Kenya, but sometimes I surprise myself  Here is the shot Ian provided:

Lawd Jesus please help me.  Now I’m no expert…wait, I AM an expert and I’m telling you that cheek separation like the specimen featured here is simply not able to be duplicated in the wild.  This is the self same arse featured in the video.  These cheeks have independent suspension and are fully capable of the mesmerizing wobble featured above.  Angle 3?

Look man, I’m convinced.  I don’t need anymore evidence.  I’m gonna temporarily lift the ban on Man on Man R&B duets and have R. Kelly and Usher record a song called “Same Tail“.  Rachel has so much tail, I’m going to send her a certification that allows her to omit a friend from being declared a “fail tail” because Rachel is carrying enough for both of them.  I’m going begin a petition that states if Marie-Pierre Beausejour is also bringing this kind of heat and is in fact the woman featured in this video, that the lack of recognition is an injustice being inflicted both upon this young lady and an abject assault one our core American values and Ms. Beausejour should be recognized and glorified. (I’m also placing a bounty on some shots that verify the claim).

Until then.  Rachel, whether you know it or not, you are Team Us for life.

-Brock

Comments

  1. waaaat! this some serious white tail. galfriend be makn “sistaz” jealous as hell. now this tha kinda bahaind i like. just…….ummm…….right…for lack of a better word. so round n juicy. even makes u hungry just lookn at it. i mean i gatta get some food like right now….then some similar tail. n yes Mr. Brock, u have a big following from Obama’ Father’s Birthplace….Kenya! like u rightly called it – uvt kenya office.hehe.

  2. http://i54.tinypic.com/im5ks5.jpg

    sooooo if thats mcadams how do you explain her tail in this scene?

  3. eatyourchildren says:

    Funniest post in a while…LOL’ed at my desk

  4. Sheeiit, I’d hit them both, but we gotz to get to da Bottom of this, I mean we can’t have a gurl P.lump A.ss P.erpetratin. A pickle like this could PAP smear the good name of UVT and its assology scholars. We can’t have dat, I won’t stand for it cot damnnit.

    @Brock

    Propz on dat commenter of da year endorsement. ITz datdude in 2011, word up. If therrrres any indication of another taking dat top spot, I ain’t seent it yet, but folk still got time… tick tock niccaz, lol.

    (Niccaz – Universal ignant term for urrybody. {Added to datdude lexion 11/19/2010} )

  5. this is the kind of hard hitting coverage i come to UvT for. That gif is the stuff of legend. The Wobbledy, wobbeldy, the bounce back, the separation, the subtle vertical and horizontal shake. All the stuff of legend. Almost had me fucked up enough to go catch that flick, like Biel’s moment in that turirble Sandler/James flick, but then i sobered up. One thing I’d like to this discussion. Have we considered the 4th dimension on this one? You know, time. Can we get the UvT interns to factor in when these dif pics are taken and get some kind of timeline going? Maybe homegirl started hanging out with some ladies of color and got her platanos/grits game up and then bam we go form fail tale to ass. Is baby weight a possibility? I dont know Im just brain surfing here. Great work as always.

  6. I have always had a soft spot for ole girl Rachel here, ok maybe i lie, its a hard spot, but lets not split hairs with such mind boggling white tail to decipher.
    Gaawdamnit to quote Hank Moody, she makes me wanna touch maself in a baaaad place..

    Am glad the ass doctor Brock has laid the debate to rest with such deliberate white van fallin precision.. We all needed a kick from the limbo Ian and Itz inflicted wit pics of a mythical Marie.
    This is Hiram reporting from Africa, the origins of all ungodly ass. In that clingy white dress, we trasst.

  7. Mystery. Detective work. Satisfying conclusion. This entry had it all.

  8. random hater says:

    Nope. I disagree. Regard the eight inch heels under that white dress in Angle three? And that’s all the plumpin’ she can muster? The heels in the wobble shot are a good two inches shorter. Note the forward lean in your white-dress Angle two, and that’s all the back arch that results? Nope. I’m voting for miss can’t-hide-it-in-cargo-shorts-and-flats all the way.

  9. Ian M. Summers says:

    I’m gonna go ahead and pat myself on the back for giving you enough info to find the truth if you wanted it (while allowing you to remain blissfully ignorant if you didn’t), only to then bring to light the transcendent facts that made said truth irrelevant. Fancy, huh?

    I’m officially endorsing Itz for Commenter of the Year. He’s got something funny to say all the damn time. I show up like once every couple weeks, which is not getting it this year. Don’t get too excited Itz, Brock was too fucking cheap to send me a plaque or anything. I did get some unexplained gift certificates to Denny’s in the mail a few weeks after that though, so you can always hold out hope that you’ve got that going for you.

  10. Foo not the Intern says:

    Naw the second chick is just a stand in or a stunt double.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stand-in

  11. In order to know if that’s a stunt double, we must go outside our collective skulls. Look at the other part of the equation, homeboy in the business wear who’s getting tackled. Is that guy played by a stunt double? I don’t think so, the way he quickly got ahold of his sanity and moved that hand away like a trained sensei. So if he’s not played by one, then why would Rachel have a stand in? That, and the pictures speak volumes. AJ’s forehead is glistening; it can hardly contain itself because even it knows the heat that is lurking back there.

  12. Itzdatdude says:

    @Ian
    Yea, I figured if I won I wasn’t going to get much, Itz aight. If they do a couple posts on phat asian ass, I’ll be good, lol.

  13. Man….

    Mizz McAdams is a beauty for sure. A 1 no doubt…but that azz in the top screen wit da wobbly de wobble ain’t her. I wish it was but it ain’t. I looked up ole girl who if fosed to be the booty double and couldn’t find any evidence. It’s a certified banger though, white/black/mocha any other color as well.

    The pics with the white dress on are great too. A skrong 1. And while there is the view of what looks to be a respectable suspension system I just don’t see it catching that extra wobble that the top arse is doing.

    Rach is bringing a solid WGT but that mystery ass at the top is at the tizzy of the WGT. That thing has perfect slim/thick….muscle/juicy….ratio. That is years of dedication in hopes that one day someone would preciate the effort. Well baby gurl…you gets an A+.

    Oh and Itz for commenter of the year? fuck dat puto

  14. i went to college w/ Marie, and i can tell you for a FACT that is Rachel in the video. dayuuuuummmmmmmmmm.