The Miami Heat got a lot of attention this summer.Â They brought in LeBron James…he got his own hour long train wreck show on ESPN.Â Dwayne Wade got the entire city of Miami calling itself “Wade County” instead of Dade County.Â But there was one other man involved in the trade who has not been getting much attention, Chris Bosh.
I’m not gonna lie, the dude played in Toronto and I’ve never actually seen him play.Â I don’ t know if I’ve watched a Raptors game since the Vince Carter & Tracy McGrady days.Â So Chris Bosh is just like Babe Ruth to me…everyone says he is great, but I’ve never seen him play.Â So here at Us Versus Them, we are ready to give Chris Bosh some well deserved shine as the third member of the Big 3.
So Chris Bosh has been in exile in the great white north for the last few years.Â He is a career 20-10 guy who was exposed to a whole different culture and environment in Toronto.
Uhhh, Okay.Â Maybe he was exposed to a lot of other things too.Â Back to the point.Â So Bosh is a Power Forward who should bring a lot of stability to the Miami Heat front line.Â With Wade and LeBron out on the perimeter, there are going to be a lot of opportunities for Bosh to get single coverage on the blocks.Â He might be the difference between the Heat being good and being great.Â He’s even enjoyed some big changes in his personal life.Â He just got engaged to his girlfriend and is having a really relaxing summer.
Is that linen?Â And why is his the tail of his belt wrapping all the way around to his back like he is some 8 year old kid in a hand me down?Â He’s so tall that when he looks at his girl, he can’t see anything but the top of her head and her J’s.Â Seriously, what the hell is going on with Chris Bosh.Â These must be old pictures.Â He can’t possibly think this is a reasonable way to to through life.Â Maybe he was just caught in a fashion faux pas or two, but now he’s on the big stage.Â He has access to Miami and all the culture and fashion available to him.Â Just like LeBron going from T.G.I.Friday’s to Prime 112, Chris Bosh is going to go from assless chaps and leaning polos to custom suits and gingham checks. Maybe he can even go shopping with LeBron. See, here we go.Â He even went to Fashion Week in NY.Â I told you he had it all figured out.
Is this dude serious?Â He’s gonna go ahead and go with the nut crush leg cross, pant cuff combo?Â I’m pretty sure 6’10” cats don’t find too many pairs of jeans that are too long so he just wanted to show off his mean striped sock game.Â Can we get a closer look here?
Nah bruh.Â It is already too late.Â You can’t cover up the leg cross, golf clap, pursed lip combo by putting your hand on your girls leg now.Â Nah playa.Â I don’t usually go to the literal Man Up in this section but good lawd if there was ever a time for it, the time is now.Â Antoine Dodson’s perm thinks you should hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husbands, cause Chris Bosh needs to Man Up.Â Tyler Perry thinks Bosh might need to add a little bass in his voice.Â Raz B thinks he might have a secret to keep.Â Chris Bosh, the rumors are starting to fly.Â You might need to really start the season strong by banging in the paint.Â Pause. I mean you really need to box out and put a body on guys in the front court.Â No homo. I mean the best position Bosh can take is to establish himself as the biggest man on the court…dammit, I can’t do this.Â Chris Bosh…Man UP!