Levi and Bristol Palin – STOP IT’S THA MOTHAF*$&IN REMIX!!!

This is way too good.  While Sarah Palin has managed to cycle herself into obscurity for the moment (other than the million people who want to use her to plug the oil spill in the Gulf).  But do you remember the most awkward family moment in the history of American politics?

Back in the wild days of the 2008 presidential election, the McCain camp thought they could catch all the motivated Hillary voters if they could put up a woman, damn near any woman would do…then they found the git-er-dunn Hockey mom Sarah Palin.  She had family values.  She was a Mavrick. It was all good.  Until they found out their daughter was getting her freak on and had a bun bun in the oven so they had Levi do the stand up thing.  They bought him a blue blazer and said they were engaged.

That turned into a complete shit show.  Levi got a little famous, found out it was easier to talk junk about the Palin family to get attention, got a few interviews, made a little loot, and ripped the Palin family from top to bottom.

He was calling the Palin family snobby, he said Sarah Palin was a fame monger, the Palin family was saying Levi was a relationship mistake, and he got most hated baby daddy status in the state of Alaska.

So what did he do?  He remixed that shit and got secretly engaged to his baby momma and announced it in US Magazine.

That’s right, he’s finally ready to be a family man.  Sarah Palin is SUPER excited about it too, check this hot quote.

“Bristol, at 19, is now a young adult,” said the statement attributed to the Palin family. “As parents we obviously want what is best for our children, but Bristol is ultimately in charge of determining what is best for her and her beautiful son.”

UvT Translation: “I can’t believe our daughter would embarass us like this.  If we could we would lock her in the damn attic, but she’s already announced it, so we need to let them know why we lost control….Uhhhhh, She’s an adult!  Yeah, that will work.”

“Bristol believes in redemption and forgiveness to a degree most of us struggle to put in practice in our daily lives.”

UvT Translation:

“Every normal person would be ignoring a person who publicly humiliated her family would shut this guy down.  But this chick has taken it completely too far.  Even Mother Theresa wouldn’t forgive Levi for what he did, but our Bristol, she is really going the extra mile. Fuck!”

“We pray that, as a couple, Bristol and Levi’s relationship matures into one that will allow Tripp to grow up graced with two loving parents in his life,”

UvT Translation:

“I hope they don’t mess this up.  Maybe we can remind them there is a kid involved and they will actually be responsible.”

To summarize:

That doesn’t exactly sound like they are booking churches and choosing the color of the bridesmaid’s dresses.

Seriously, I don’t care who you are, I don’t care what your personal principles are, I don’t care if you are conservative, liberal, it really doesn’t matter.  When you have a daughter, you do NOT want to see this guy walk through that door with an engagement ring.


Yeah, the Playgirl alum is never what a daddy dreams about when his little girl decides to get married.  You know he is just gonna be a smiling asshole at every single family dinner, while every quote he ever ripped on the Tyra show echoes in your mind.

In other words, this is a train wreck waiting to happen.  Can’t wait.

-Brock

Comments

  1. Itzdatdude says:

    Lol @ dem UVt translations

    I don’t know Brock, I think I might wanna nominate baby-daddy extraordinaire Levi-J for Us status.

    Homie is smooth with da train wreck swag. Its as if a passenger filled train was to crash and all the folk survived looking cleaner than they did before they got on and all da wreckage came together to spell out “Shit Happens”, making da train pieces somehow seem fresher all fucked up….hold up, I might still be a little high, lol.

  2. Mr. Jezus says:

    Couple thangs, couple thangs…

    First, Levi is to be commended. Y you ask?

    Lessee.. he knocked up the govnar’s daughter, +1. Then said govnar is nominated for VP, through no fault of his own, das another +1, hell she could have been VP! +2 for Levi. Now, Bristol is nice looking Becky, a solid 1. Hell she looks better on that cover than before.

    Then he went and put all the fam on blast. Hell he might have even said something bout the waterhead baby, I own remember. Then he shows his baby maker in Playgirl. NO FEAR from this nilla! Then after all that, the former gobner is hot as can be right now with the tea bag shit going on, he goes back, lays the A+ dack on Becky again and gets her to sign up for a couple years of service. All dis while being named LEEfuckingVI.

    We could prolly all learn a thang or two from this young playa

  3. G The Intern says:

    The side note that went unmentioned is the REAL motive behind this whole thing… Bristol Palin is a wannabe religious high roller and new abstinance spokesperson (that’s a lot like being a prisoner on “Scared Straight.” You’re gonna tell some other cat “don’t do what I did and end up HERE?” AHNT!!!). She’s been DYIN for dack for like a year! I agree with Jezus, he laid that pipe on her and she remembered what she was missin. Sex while you’re married is copastetic in the eyes of God…family pride be damned!

  4. Triple_B says:

    1) the translation was on point! Palin doesn’t have the brains to put out fake statement. So she went with tact, but the poison is still palpable.

    2) Levi. I might have to co-sign on Levi being one of the Greats. The Palins are LOADED! and handcuffed by their own very public stance on family. He’s no K-Fed, but he is surely a master of dyckmatism.

  5. Levi must still know how to lay that pipe.. rofl

    • @WowMom – You show up every few weeks to drop a comment and remind everyone you are a freak. Which makes me feel kinda dirty since your name is WowMom, but not in a bad way.

  6. Itzdatdude says:

    Word up, whoever wifed up WowMom is a lucky nucca.