I’m not sure why I didn’t watch this show.Â I mean, friends told me to peep it.Â They said it was great.Â I just couldn’t get there.Â I turned it on once and they were doing some terrible “Do you know you’re man” nonsense.Â It didn’t move me, so I moved on.Â But tonight I just so happened to catch that finale and let me tell you, it was some high quality programming.Â I mean, truly top shelf.Â First, let’s just give you a bit of a sampling of the ladies Ray J was working with:
Hey, I always celebrate diversity.
Slim thick, you’ll always have a place on my tv screen.
The cornfed white babe with the aerobicized body and well maintained J game, they will shall be obeyed. And then there were the finalists:
This was the most garbage of the group.Â She was in the final two and I knew she was going to get iced.Â First, she’s one ham sandwhich away from being a big girl.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that, aside from Rule #2, but this is Ray J, the cat who was banging out Kardashian on camera.Â He aint messing with a babe who doesn’t have her ho credentials tight.Â That means a gym membership, some high-end genes, a plastic surgeon on call, a eating disorder and a gang of hair/make up to get sh*t tight.Â Plus she’s on the finale talking about “I’m starting to really like Ray”.
Starting?Â Ummm, I’m not sure if you realized it yet, but you’re on VH1.Â You know, Flavor of Love, I Love NY?Â If you aren’t hittin’ by solo date number 2, you’re out of contention for the crown.Â Hell, even the Bachelor hits all three babes off in the fantasy suite.
Truth be told, take the black blonde credentials away from this chick and she’s nothing.
And let’s face it, the wild, “let your hair go, just rolled out of bed” look is cool when you’re 17 or well, just have better hair, but this chick has gotten all the mileague she deserves and then some.Â Peace the f*ck out.
HaaaaÂ first of all, that’s a GREAT VH1 name.Â Cock Tail… Man, I can’t even.Â But oh, she WON the Love of Ray J.
Now I know what you’re thinking.. “That chick?!”Â Yes, this chick..Â Â You just don’t have the right angles.. Let me show the way:
Oh yes, and she looked every single bit this good on that finale too.Â I mean, her body is insane.
And while that back aint thunder, it does make you wonder and it is present and accounted for.
And yes, I suspect that those Js are not real, but honestly, my boy A Can hipped me to something I hadn’t really thought about of late.Â They are making serious advances in J construction these days.Â He claims that in some cases, you can barely tell (minus the absurd size) that they are fake to the touch.Â I own know.. Yall tell me, should we revise our anti fake J stance?Â Does it matter that they no longer feel like soccer balls stuck to a damn wall?
I own know, I think Mike Hart is looking for change he can believe in.Â Back to Cocktail, she’s bad and I appreciated her “Ride or Die, down for whatever flow”:
And it’s better on video..Â She was very much deserving of the win on the show.Â I like it.
Now this chick.Â Holy sh&t.. I don’t even know where to start.Â First off, she’s f&cking nuts.Â I mean, just in the limited time I saw her on the show she threatened to kill a few people and off herself.Â No wonder dude calls her “Danger”, oh and there’s this too:
Ahem…definitely danger.Â Only, that’s pre show danger, here is the clothed, less hot Danger with a few more miles on her.
hmmmm, thickened it up, but still right.Â Tatted out though.Â Hey, I’ve said it before.Â I like chicks with tats on that “Youza ho” level, but I’ve never seen a tat that I wouldn’t rather have off a lady’s skin, because there are some tats you just can’t sport in public…like uhhh, the FACE TAT?!Â WTF?
Damn..Â dog, her eyes are mesmerizing.Â I wonder if that’s Lens Crafters on “Gets it from her mama?”Â But what’s up with that upper lip action?Â Shadow or something else?Â Anyway, it’s pretty crazy to me to legitimately rock a face tat.Â I mean, the neck tat is already wild, but only a fool, short of you being a rock star or something nuts like that, goes full facial.
And when you do go face tat, you can be sure it’s indicative of some other issues out there…say….like:
Porn….wow….Â And…well, prostitution.Â Jeez.Â This chick is a mess.Â Turns out face and neck tats are the least of her issues.Â Peep what she had to say about her past:
“I have done pictures, Iâ€™ve been an exotic dancer and Iâ€™ve also done some prostitution and thatâ€™s something that I really didnâ€™t want to just talk about right away cause itâ€™s a scary scary thing, it has such a negative connotation to it. But I was a prostitute for about two and half years, and you know I was making alot of money, I had all this cash, shoppingâ€¦ all this shit, you know, nice car, nice place, but it didnâ€™t make me happy.”
Now let me tell yall something.Â When I tell you this chick has porn on the internet.Â She’s got a gang of it.Â I mean, it’s crazy.Â I done seen more than I wanted to, so you know that’s a hell of a lot.Â Peep it Here.Â Here and HERE.Â WOW.
And here is a mug shot of ole girl from her hooking days.
Hey, one thing we know, she was looking good.Â And it looks like those eyes are real.Â Nice.Â Sadly, as with all REAL HOES, she’s crazy as hell.Â I mean, just when you peep the eyes, note that silky hair, see the body and understand the freak credentials, what does she do?Â Yep, she tells everyone that Ray J was smashing from day two of the show forward, which isn’t all that shocking and, wait for it… that Ray J is the father of her baby….
Yeeeeeaaah meng.Â Sad tale gets told again.Â Wrap up fellas.