Us Versus Them used to hang our hats on Making the Band 4.Â It was a weekly institution.Â Lake broke down the weekly episode from Aubrey getting too big for her britches (literally), Laurie Ann Gibson being told “no interjections”, and Donnie dancing like a white boy.Â But this season has been different, it just hasn’t been the same.Â I couldn’t put my finger on it until I realized that a whole bunch of cat ass fighting and soap opera drama is a LOT less entertaining when it is a bunch of dudes as opposed the ladies of Danity Kane…or D. Woods n’dem as the Assologist in me likes to call them.
This season has been all about Que.Â Everyone has been wondering, “Why is Que going crazy?”, “What is wrong with Que?”, well we are here to break it down.Â I know exactly what happened to Que and I’m here to break it down.Â Here’s the story.Â This is the Que we all knew last year.
Man, Que was just happy to be there.Â I mean he was happy yo be in the group, he was happy to work hard, happy to look like he was wearing lipstick, he was happy to find his girl, he was all in love, the kid was feeling good and loving life.Â Here is the key.Â Dude is 20-21, he doesn’t even know who he is, so he starts getting the pressure of being a grown ass man.Â He’s paying the bills for his fam, he wants an equal share of what goes on in the group, he gives everyone else their fair space, so it is time for him to get some right?Â Here’s the problem, he’s also been portrayed as a goofy, soft, lovestruck little punk on the show.Â He didn’t like that…especially because he actually is a lovestruck little punk.
First off, who the hell bought all of the crazy hats?Â Que rocked this gem.Â Will had that joint that was tied back like a ponytail.Â Rob had the joint with the built in Mohawk…as if his brohawk wasn’t enough.Â But Que thought he could just stand up and be treated like a man, which the rest of Day26 greeted with a resounding AHNT!Â So he tried his luck with Will first, but Will seems like he is freaking huge, so he’s really not what you want.
So what did Que do?Â He attacked the smallest guy in the group, Brian.
Brian was ’bout it though.Â He might sing like Sisqo, and have braids, and he a legit 5’5″, and sing high notes pretty like a little baybee, but he ain’t no punk.Â Brian was ready to go.Â So Que had to adjust again.
So he layered ut up with two crazy hats and some nerd glasses and started to plot his next move.Â Big Mike ain’t the tallest brother in the world, but a 245, might be like fighting a bowling ball.Â Plus, he barely gets worked up enough to actually stand up during a fight, mush less actually fight back.Â Maybe Robert?
Sheeeeit, Rob looks like he is ready to go.Â He’s from the Cold ass D, he’s ready to get loose.Â So does Que win that one?
Nope, he doesn’t win that fight either.Â So the entire season was..go to the studio, drop a track, fight Que, eat some food, Fight Que, negotiate with your manager Screwface (not trusting a cat named Screwface with my loot, for the record), fight Que, get cursed out by Diddy.Â Danity Kane never got back together.Â D. Woods got not one single minute of air time.Â Dawn was wearing winter clothes all season, and we had to listen to at least two Diddy tracks that probably could have marinated in that good lab for another few weeks before they made that good debut on national TV.Â I don’t even know how many episodes there were, but I know this.Â All I wanted was a tail shot of Danity Kane.
That Dawn don’t even know what she’s workin with back there dammit.Â Que ain’t hittin that right.
My prediction for the finale?Â Diddy is going to try to get Danity Kane on stage with him.Â Aubrey will show…because sheeeit, we ain’t seen her since she was buck naked in Playboy.Â She needs the publicity.Â Aundrea needs one more paycheck.Â D. Woods?Â Can’t call it.Â I’ve got my fingers crossed though.Â Maybe Making the Band 5?Â (Re)making Danity Kane?
Whatever happens, they need to get some bad babes back on this show…stat.