I survive cougar attacks all the time. You can’t go out without seeing them lurking in a pack. Swaying in the corner and always on the lookout for fresh meat like your boy Brock.
I mean the modern Coug is extra aggressive. Never look them directly in the eye. Don’t be tricked by the fact that they want to buy YOU drinks (Watch yo back Triple B). And never turn your back. They grab ass and love to tell the story to their friends the next day.
“I saw this guy in the club with such hot buns! I just grabbed it!” Plus you know the Cougars love the dark meat.
So I don’t know what the big deal is. I want to be on the Today show tomorrow for my heroic efforts out in these streets this weekend. I mean I was tanked up on that Goose and Juice, Soda, Tonic, Ice, tapping into my instincts to stay alive out there. I’m a damn hero on these streets.
Huh? What’s that? It was a real cougar? She needed 24 staples to the dome? Oh, that really is different.
That’s fucked up.
-Brock
Can I ask a question? Why we gotta be called cougars when men have been doing the same damn thing for years without penalty? Sure, they might get a “dirty ol’ man” dropped on them from time-to-time but it’s mostly the older woman / younger man relationship that’s getting stigmatized. And who ends up with the unflattering label? The female.
That’s *really* fucked up (but I’ll take that over 24 staples to the head).
@ Bichon
OK STOP.
Let’s put these two names on the balance of unfavorability:
Cougar vs. Dirty Old Man
It’s not even close. Cougar is almost a term of endearment used by younger men. If anything men get stigmatized more because of the traditional dynamic of men as being in pursuit of women. People assume that the relationship between an older man and a younger woman must have a predatory element to it. Where as when people see a cougar and a younger guy, hey they’re just getting it in (and good for them).
I’ll entertain just about anybody’s complaints about social injustices, but I don’t think you’ve got a case here.
@ Bichon
I’d take the top two together after a couple of sapphire martinis….
i’m not one to hate on a kitty
@ bichon – i must agree with ian. cougar-dom is basically smiled upon, whereas dirty old man behavior often implies that the “lady” is being paid for her time and services and people look down upon it accordingly.
@jmack – obvs you’re not one to hate on fake j’s either.
@ Nate
generally i frown upon silicon, but in this case it’s better than the alternative at their ages…
@me
make that 3 sapphire martinis :p
@The Fellas: We will have to agree to disagree because your version has not been how I’ve seen it go down. When I’m out with my peeps, my dudes are always pointing out the cougars in creep mode at the spot but turn a blind eye to Gramps who wants to stay up in my grill all night. Cougar sounds predatory to my female ears but I’ll trust that it’s actually a term of endearment as Mr. Summers noted. Or not. Probably not.
As long as everyone stays out of my mack game, it’s all good.
I have to admit, I got nothing but love for the cougar. I basically want them to do everything for me young females expect me to do for them: Buy my drink, open the door for me, “pay my bills, pay my telephone bills, pay my automobiles, pay my cell phone bill.” They can be the cougar at every moment until we hit the sack; that’s when I show them who the real cougar is. Be clear though, there is a slight difference between a cougar and a dirty old man: when I hear dirty old man, I’m thinking a cat fifty and up. But I’m thinking more like late thirties, early forties for the cougar. Maybe mid forties if she’s in tip-top shape. After that, you just and old trick and like Slick Rick said “uh with your wrinkled pus*y, I can’ be your lover.”
Bichon: As long as everyone stays out of my mack game, it’s all good.
That settles it then. Respect *Ali G finger snap*.
@ Wall Street:
Maybe some ill fem MC should come out with a response to Slick Rick’s pejorative, cause God only knows the horror of what old man “junk” looks like.
Be you aint lied…
@Be and Rosy: I don’t need to even think about that mental image…ick. That’s why I’m gonna look in the other (younger) direction when the time comes.
UvT ladies, keep the farm system flush with young, fresh talent. You never know when you might need to go to the bullpen. Judging by all the damn Viagra commercials I’m subjected to erry time I turn on the TV, I think this is a real problem as men age. Problem for them, that is. Let my ish get wrinkled…at least it still works!
Bichon is a cougar? Exactly at what age does a woman become a cougar?